[withoutthelove_]

I don't know if anyone will remember, but I posted a while back that I have/had potential maternal transference towards my English teacher. She's about my dad's age, well-educated and essentially my dream mother because we're so alike (love literature, reading, Shakespeare, similar sense of humour).

Last week I spoke to her after class (something generic, I can't remember), and when she asked how my holiday was, I said it was "crap" and that it was a long story. She told me some lovely things - how she thought I was spectacular, incredible, that people love being around me, etc.
I emailed her later saying thank you for what she'd said, that it had meant a lot; she replied with:

"you come see me anytime you need positive reinforcement"

as well as a quote her great-grandmother said to her:

"you can listen to the opinions of others but you only take notice of the ones you love".

So of course, I ruminated about that for a long time (was she saying she loved me? or I should only listen to my loved ones?) and trying to completely distance myself from reaching out to her at all. Which is completely ridiculous, because all I want to do is sit and drink coffee and just talk to her about anything and everything. Our classroom banter is so much fun and I want nothing more than to have her in my life permanently, as opposed to just my college teacher.

idea what the point of this post is; venting maybe?

[HazelGirl]

She sounds like a wonderful woman. I think knowing and remembering the limits of the relationship will be helpful. She can be there for you, and many teachers go into teaching in order to be there for their students, but there are limits.

I had a teacher in middle school that was so incredibly kind to me. At the time, I had no understanding of transference, but I do know I was in the middle of it, haha. He was totally a father-figure during a time where I needed one who actually cared. And he helped me so much. Over 10 years later, and I still pull out my yearbook sometimes where he wrote a really kind and encouraging note to me, and I read it and remember that at one point, he was there for me and only had to leave because my time in middle school was over. Being able to hold onto "someone actually cared about me for a period of time" was so important as I went through middle and high school.

All that to say, some teachers teach because they can be that maternal/paternal figure in the lives of the students who need it.

[healingme4me]

You've found a mentor. only take notice of opinions, you love? Perhaps?

My physics professor, was an incredible mentor. I used to babysit, for her.

It's incredible to meet people we connect with.

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[TheWell]

It's okay to love your teacher and it's okay for your teacher to love you. As long as it stays appropriate. A lot of teachers love their students in a totally appropriate way. It's a job that a lot of people do because they love it and they love students.

[jacq10]

I remember your post

You should reach out to her! She clearly cares about you and wants you to know that! I wouldn't read too much into the "love" thing (that could be a dangerous path just in terms of setting yourself for being hurt), but don't dismiss her caring either - people like her only come up so often in our lives, and before you know it you won't have the opportunity any more.

[Asiablue]

I have no idea how to take the love thing. I don't know if that quote is meaning only take the opinions of other people if you love the opinion they've just offered and ignore all the negative stuff or stuff you don't agree with OR only take notice of the opinions of people you love and find positive to be around.

Either way.... she sounds like she's very fond of you and want to help where she can. Try not to distance yourself from her but be aware of the limitations of her role as your teacher.