[rainbow8]

I had my session today. My T told me that what didn't feel right about driving past her house, was my "sneakiness" about it. That I didn't ask permission first. She said "you could have asked me". I said, "you'd probably tell me no!" At first she agreed, but then said she wasn't sure, that maybe it would be all right with her (I doubt it though), and she'd have to think about it.

We talked about what it meant for me to see where she lived. The fact that she didn't start spouting off about being a professional and keeping her private and work life separate, kind of lessened my anxiety about the issue. She was never angry with me, she said. We decided I wanted to be connected, not ignored, not rejected, and to be part of her life. We did a little SE about my feelings, too. She said these are feelings from the past, not about her, which led to mytalking about feelings when my family used to watch the home movies before I was born. I always cried because I didn't understand I wasn't born yet, and that's why I wasn't in them! It's "wanting to be part of" family. We've discussed that about the movies before, but it always comes up for me as representative of my feeling left out or rejected, or not belonging.

I got to hold T's hand again, and she always asks how that makes me feel. She noticed that my breathing was regular; before I had been holding my breath and not breathing normally. I said "I wish I could hold your hand forever." She repeated about putting that good feeling into my nervous system so I can feel it when I'm not with her.

Seeing her every 2 weeks is hard, though. There's not enough time to discuss everything I need to. She lent me an art book; that was nice of her, too.

[RTerroni]

Great that you discussed it with her, I hate every 2 weeks as well, which is why for my last few Therapists (and I hope with my next one as well) I have seen them every week (I think that right now so much is going on with me that it needs to be every week).

[JustShakey]

I do every two weeks too, and yeah, it's not enough.

I'm glad you worked it out with her. And I agree every two weeks positively sucks! I could never be okay with twice a month. You feel like your time is limited enough as it is!

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[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Great that you discussed it with her, I hate every 2 weeks as well, which is why for my last few Therapists (and I hope with my next one as well) I have seen them every week (I think that right now so much is going on with me that it needs to be every week).

I saw her every week for 4 years. Instead of having to quit entirely, she's giving me a reduced rate now since she doesn't take our insurance anymore. So I need to win the lottery or settle for every 2 weeks. I'm grateful that she is letting me pay what I am. That doesn't mean I like it, though.

Originally Posted by JustShakey

I do every two weeks too, and yeah, it's not enough.

Plus, I used to see her for 90 minutes every week!

Originally Posted by winenot3

I'm glad you worked it out with her. And I agree every two weeks positively sucks! I could never be okay with twice a month. You feel like your time is limited enough as it is!

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I know! It's hard but I'm managing the 2 weeks.
As far as the driving by her house issue, I hope it's settled. She wants me to ask permission if it ever comes up again, but she probably wouldn't let me see anyway. So, maybe there would have to be another solution like looking online, or maybe she'd show me a photo of it. I said it felt like she didn't trust me, but she said it's nothing like that at all! So, I do feel a lot better. T and I have a close relationship, and that's never going to change!

[RTerroni]

Oh OK, I sort of think that my 4 year Therapist might have done something like that for me when I had a change of insurance but I think that she sort of knew that she would be leaving the practice in a few months anyways.