[sweepy62]

There's something off or missing in our relationship , and I'm pretty sure it's mostly me, but before delving into this exposure CSa therapy, I must get a couple of things straightened out.

I think it's important to feel some type of closeness or something with the t, if your going to spill your guts about CSa .

I like her, she is warm genuine , funny consistant, always schedules me way ahead same day same time.

We have meaning stuff in common, we share arts and listen to music together . I look foward to seeing her and talking to her, but every time I feel myself getting closer to her and more vulnerable, I pull away.

I can't be myself like I was with old t. I don't know if she has noticed. I wish I could be myself and let her in, she says I'm in a bubble , afraid to get hurt.

I want to allow myself to get closer because as of right now the relationship does not feel right.

Not right enough to delve into CSa without first talking about it.

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[HazelGirl]

Definitely talk about it.

My hunch is that you're still recovering from being passed onto her by old T and you just aren't ready to have that sort of relationship yet. Because of your past, you are more wary of trusting her.

[CantExplain]

Maybe it just takes time?

[CantExplain]

I notice your capitalisation of "CSa". Is that deliberate?

[Parley]

I hope your therapist will be happy you decided to take it slow and not rush things.

I think its a good idea to at least consider taking a step or two back.

[elliemay]

I've been following your threads for some time now and I'm just getting more and more confused.

What is exposure therapy for CSA?

I've heard of it for phobias things, but not CSA.

[JaneC]

Sounds like a great idea to talk it over with your T. I can relate.

Prolonged exposure is an option we have discussed to address the historic trauma. It scares me, and involves a lot of homework and looking at the specifics right? I think you are very courageous sweepy, and can completely understand eeding to feel a closeness with your T before going there. Good luck

elliemay, prolonged exposure is one of the techniques recommended for trauma work, that, EMDR, ACT and others of course.

[sweepy62]

Exposure therapy for csa as she explains it, is begining to tell your story, in my case from different perpetratrors , but starting from the minimal events leading to the major event, and this includes telling, how i felt, what I heard, smelled , thought, saw, ect... describing as it happened, telling it in the present tense, as tolerated.

I remember lots of stuff, and other stuff is fuzzy, but the stuff I do remember is there, I dont remember dates times or stuff, like that, but I remember what happened.
Before exposure therapy we are doing suds for about a month.
I just want our relationship on my part to be more tight before we delve into these things, I been holding back, when I let myself be close to her, it feels good, but then i go back into the bubble. I dont want to be in that bubble if im going to discuss trauma.

[Lauliza]

I think you definitely should talk to your T and tell her you need to slow things down a bit. Maybe you are in a bubble but you need time. It sounds like you're on your way to establishing more trust. This is something that can take a while and Id think your T would respect your needs rather than rushing you.

[sweepy62]

Thanks to be honest I been with her going on 4 months , I know it's a long time but I do feel a wee bit rushed, she says I'm ready and wants to keep therapy at a consistant rate, but I don't feel that way.

I can see how she thinks I'm ready I was with t1 for 1 yr 3 mos before she left but we didn't talk much CSa and she wa out like 16 times.

T2 I was seeing for 1 yr and 3 months but the 1st year and one month we were seeing each other twice a month. Then the last two months before she left we saw each other weekly. We didn't get much trauma work done.

I guess I can see where this t thinks I'm ready, I guess she is right, I just need the relationship to be stronger.

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[HazelGirl]

I do think you're ready when it comes to skills and the ability to tolerate it. I don't think the relationship is ready.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by JaneC

Sounds like a great idea to talk it over with your T. I can relate.

Prolonged exposure is an option we have discussed to address the historic trauma. It scares me, and involves a lot of homework and looking at the specifics right? I think you are very courageous sweepy, and can completely understand eeding to feel a closeness with your T before going there. Good luck

elliemay, prolonged exposure is one of the techniques recommended for trauma work, that, EMDR, ACT and others of course.

Prolonged exposure to what?

[stopdog]

Prolonged exposure therapy:

http://www2.scc.rutgers.edu/journals...wFile/969/2369

Prolonged Exposure Therapy | Minnesota Center for Psychology

Prolonged exposure therapy more effective for sexual abuse-related PTSD | 2 Minute Medicine

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I do think you're ready when it comes to skills and the ability to tolerate it. I don't think the relationship is ready.

you hit the nail right on, thats how I feel, the relationship i feel needs to be a bit closer.

[Freewilled]

I'm not sure 4 months is that long....I've been with my T for going on 1.5 years and still struggle with the relationship. I think it's ok for you to hold off on the exposure therapy if you aren't ready yet. You can even try it and then take breaks along the way. I've had to pull back when it got to be too much talking about my past. It's frustrating, but I'm trying to accept it as ok. Slower is better, or so I've read.