[sweepy62]

I have a disability hearing in July , I have a lawyer, been turn down twice but have better lawyer now. Better documentation , my h is very pessimistic . Anyway I have insurance I go to mental health community where co payments are low.

We are on a budget , sometimes it's hard to keep up, they have told me not to worry they have a policy that they don't deny anyone, my bill went up because I had no insurance when I was held for a couple of days for suicidal plans.

My h told me if I get denied again in July , he forbids me to continue therapy and pdoc and meds, he said I was alive before I started all that crap anyway.

He hates that I go to therapy.

I'm just stressed, dealing with this now, plus daily ****, plus ptsd, plus CSa therapy.

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[HazelGirl]

Hang in there. You don't know how this will turn out.

[coolibrarian]

He FORBIDS you??

[sweepy62]

Thanks hazelgirl it has not been a good day

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[sweepy62]

Thanks for responding Cher,he is a bit of a creep at times.

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[Asiablue]

Tell your husband there's a difference between just being alive and actually living. You might have been surviving but that's no way to live and eventually everyone who lives likes that breaks down at some point. What he is suggesting is really unkind.

[leggiera]

Sorry it's been such a hard day, Sweepy.

No use putting the cart before the horse, though. There's a chance your disability hearing may go well. Until then, no use fretting about it.

Easier said than done, I know.

[Leah123]

Sweepy... do you want to be doing sexual abuse exposure work when you have a serious issue with your husband? Maybe that needs to be the priority?

Just a thought because I am not impressed by him from your description and think that it's often unwise to work on the past when the present hasn't been addressed... it's going to be very hard to deal with how upset you are during exposure therapy if you come home to an unsupportive dictatorial guy like that.

I hope your therapist knows this before proceeding. If there's a real risk that you will choose to end therapy and meds and pdoc based on your husband's wishes, she'll want to take that into consideration before embarking on this grueling work.

[sailorboy]

Oh. Hell. No. Stand up for yourself, Sweepy. You deserve so much better.

[granite1]

that is horrible of him .he sounds so frustrated with the disability people. I hope he will come around .or set him right . yup it sounds like you are having a very bad day

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Sweepy... do you want to be doing sexual abuse exposure work when you have a serious issue with your husband? Maybe that needs to be the priority?

Just a thought because I am not impressed by him from your description and think that it's often unwise to work on the past when the present hasn't been addressed... it's going to be very hard to deal with how upset you are during exposure therapy if you come home to an unsupportive dictatorial guy like that.

I hope your therapist knows this before proceeding. If there's a real risk that you will choose to end therapy and meds and pdoc based on your husband's wishes, she'll want to take that into consideration before embarking on this grueling work.

Yeah, that would be ideal...but not always possible. I'm sorry you're going through this Sweepy If it happens that you should not get the disability, are you going to keep going to therapy regardless of what your H says?

[RTerroni]

I know exactly how you are feeling because I have been denied for disability at least twice before, I have a hearing in August and I am not sure if this will be our last ditch effort or not. Personally I think that my lawyer is getting up there in age and will be retiring soon.

I don't think there is any way that he can forbid you from going to Therapy though.

[sweepy62]

Hell no, im not quitting, its just creating so much anxiety, I dont know how to regulate my emotions. I dont want to tell t about this, she might think im trying to avoid her stupid csa schedule.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Hell no, im not quitting, its just creating so much anxiety, I dont know how to regulate my emotions. I dont want to tell t about this, she might think im trying to avoid her stupid csa schedule.

I think you're mind reading. You can't know that's what she will think. This is a REALLY big deal.

[Wren_]

(((sweepy))) i hope you decide to tell your T about this ... it seems like something you need to be talking about and get support in ... i hope things work out with your disability and ...... that your H will realise that you need this help!

I really like what asiablue wrote about:

Tell your husband there's a difference between just being alive and actually living. You might have been surviving but that's no way to live and eventually everyone who lives likes that breaks down at some point.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I agree with granite in the fact he may be projecting his frustration with the disability process onto you; but I still think what he told you is out of line. I also agree with Leah that trauma work should come after dealing with the present and all of the coping skills to handle it. It could be dangerous because your state of mind may be fragile during that time and dealing with that lack of support and harsh words may push you over the edge.

Just be careful and please take care of yourself. Sorry you had a bad day and hopefully the rest of the week will be better for you.

[sweepy62]

thank you everyone.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I think you're mind reading. You can't know that's what she will think. This is a REALLY big deal.

thanks hazelgirl, I appreciate you, for always being straightfoward. Iam in a whirlwind right now, I have to analize a couple of things, I guess Im not really angry at t, but Im not happy with her either, she needs to chill a bit. She was using words i didnt lile today, (trauma words)

[growlycat]

oh, sweep I am angry at your H For you…I say sex is forbidden until your health care needs are fully met!! Let's see how fast he lets you see your T.

[pbutton]

Tell your H that I forbid him to be such a jackass.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

thanks hazelgirl, I appreciate you, for always being straightfoward. Iam in a whirlwind right now, I have to analize a couple of things, I guess Im not really angry at t, but Im not happy with her either, she needs to chill a bit. She was using words i didnt lile today, (trauma words)

I know it's painful. I get angry at my T sometimes when she tries to get me to talk about my emotions surrounding things and I don't want to. I'm getting better, but I do know how it is.

[Raging Quiet]

It's important to thrive; not just survive.

[Parley]

I think it's irresponsible to start trauma work when your therapist doesn't understand the stress that your husband is putting on you. I'm not trying to be rude but when you find your *** laying on your T's floor and trapped in your hallucinations, illusions, memories or whatever comes from that work, you will regret it. You will be lucky if your therapist can handle it and you don't wake up strapped to a gurney mumbling to yourself like a psychotic freak.

I'm still going to step away from my opinion of your husband because he is your husband. I will say that him failing you does not justify you failing to take care of yourself. It's more responsibility for you and that sucks but I do hope you listen to others that are trying to tell you, please don't do this to yourself.

Talk to your T about this and ***** her schedule. I doubt she is so concerned that she is willing to forgo your safety and if she is, RUN!

Originally Posted by Parley

I think it's irresponsible to start trauma work when your therapist doesn't understand the stress that your husband is putting on you. I'm not trying to be rude but when you find your *** laying on your T's floor and trapped in your hallucinations, illusions, memories or whatever comes from that work, you will regret it. You will be lucky if your therapist can handle it and you don't wake up strapped to a gurney mumbling to yourself like a psychotic freak.

I'm still going to step away from my opinion of your husband because he is your husband. I will say that him failing you does not justify you failing to take care of yourself. It's more responsibility for you and that sucks but I do hope you listen to others that are trying to tell you, please don't do this to yourself.

Talk to your T about this and ***** her schedule. I doubt she is so concerned that she is willing to forgo your safety and if she is, RUN!

I agree with this. I went through something very, very similar with my ex therapist and it ended very badly. He didn't understand or seem to care about my present day issues and focused on the trauma. You just can't deal with past trauma when you're going through major NOW issues.

Maybe your husband is stressed about money?

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Hell no, im not quitting, its just creating so much anxiety, I dont know how to regulate my emotions. I dont want to tell t about this, she might think im trying to avoid her stupid csa schedule.

Sweepy, I think you should address this with your T as soon as you next see her, don't worry about the schedule. This is an important detail and if there is something up in your personal life causing you anxiety, it should take priority over anything else at the moment. Your T should agree with this since I think it is risky to address past trauma if you don't have proper support outside of therapy.