I Messed Up

Your gyn doesn't do a breast exam? That's always standard.

A breast cancer exam is a part of the gynecological work up. It's not fishy. In fact, if it's not a part of the exam then THAT'S fishy. You are always free to decline.

I'm sorry, I did not mean to imply that the gyn was inappropriate in any way, it was just very surprising to me. "Fishy" was a bad way for me to phrase it. I've never had any reason to go to a gynaecologist, but I have had breast exams (mammography) which is a completely separate thing. You learn something new every day

Tinyrabbit- Yeah "just stop" got an "ok" from me. And thanks - yeah being known as a liar would crush me way more than any of this. It's funny you say that though because when he came in the room he was just fussing about a dumb lie the previous patient told him.

Miguel'smom - I did not know that, but that sounds worth consideration.

Skies - Yea, he did say I scared him because "those things tend to lead to sui thoughts". Depending on where he goes from here will factor heavily on if I continue seeing him; so far I will.

"...I think it causes less harm to not confront extreme beliefs if you need to protect yourself in some way..."

I completely agree. I think that he is a bit on the eccentric side, have always thought that - but I also think that makes us a good match. I would not be able to continue seeing someone who "blew off" my health concerns so I agree that it was a good thing not to see that person anymore. I am glad that you were able to get the help you needed though. [/quote]

AllyIsHopeful - The reason that the chart is being "relayed" is because all of my doctors are in a network and they share the same system. I actually set it up and prefer it that way - so i'm okay with that. Lol to the magic wand. Made me laugh for real. I see him once a year normally but have been seeing him more since I was diagnosed with PCOS. This was just an annual visit though and if I don't have any PCOS issues I won't see him again for a while. I'm okay with them knowing but not so much with it being in my chart and/or it becoming an unnecessary big deal. If it does than I may just have to change.


Freewilled - Actually the whole "Dude. Chill." comment was exactly how I felt lol. Pretty sure I expresses that in so many words because I just kept saying "It's okay...i'm fine..."

Elliemay - I think i'm going to have to speak to T about accepting the referral. I really don't know about that yet. The s.i. he saw was really not bad at all. I think the fact that it wasn't bad was why he didn't ship me off to a hospital (because it was honestly like 8 cuts, mostly healed). I have never said that I don't understand where he is coming from - he really is a nice moral guy. What he said about the therapist flat out ticked me off though and I really don't like it in my chart and my concern is mostly about if he will take his "moral duty" to unnecessary levels if I decline. I'm very okay with him until I feel like I don't have choices with my own body/health care.

1914sierra - Yeah, that's what I was thinking to but he said he could take them out and only didn't because he felt gp should know. I do totally get it from a liability standpoint though.

Stopdog - Agreed.

1914sierra - Also agreed.

Elliemay - I am completely ticked off with the whole uterus thing. Ugh.

Thinking about it, he did provide good medical care - but even he admitted that he may be being a bit heavy handed because of his own recent experiences. Again, I only go to MD's who I like (aka - give a crap) so I guess that's how I ended up in this situation in the first place.

Mastodon - Yeah, they do. They check your bosom for lumps to see if they need to be concerned about breast cancer. He was only doing his job and honestly wasn't looking until he felt what I guess would be the last part of the scab healing. I felt to see what drew his attention and I doubt I would have even noticed. Yeah, he asked about it, I told him the truth and then he put in the psych referral before even talking to me about it. That is frustrating.

Yeah, I realize now that I should have just declined it but I didn't think it would be a big deal since they were almost completely healed and not in a visible place.

I understand covering themselves due to liability but no need to be a **** about it. I have done bad SI history ( having to stand in a tub with my arm up and a lot if pressure to stop it) I have never told a dr. They know nothing about me or my life or the hell I go through. They know medical. Big difference especially when they are staunch believers in one way, theirs. I have very bad reactions to rudeness, ignorance, stupidity, and over inflated ego. Plus I'll be damned if a man touches me. Sorry that's never going to happen again.

Women have so much added stress in their lives these days. The US is one of the most free nations in the world yet there's litigation across the country saying a woman has no rights to her body. Teal u did what u believe is right for u and ur body. Do not let this man or any force ur hand in anything

This sort of thing is why I don't go to drs. -I am not turning my body over to them to comment, critique ,criticize, judge etc. I disagree it was about a medical condition and I do think politics has a lot to do about it along with how women are viewed and treated.

Breast exams are a standard part of a woman's annual exam. Mammograms typically
start at 40 (unless one is seen as high risk) and should get them every 1-2 years. I have been getting them yearly since 35 because of risk factors. However, since breast cancer can happen before 40 and so inexpensive to perform (vs. Mammograms) they are very standard. Providers therefore look for any abnormalities in the breast.

tealBumblebee, I think you are really lucky.

Your gynecologist cares enough about you to make this an issue. Yes, he obviously doesn't understand mental health issues and was rude in his approach. It's a sign of a good doctor that he is concerned though.

I would call/go in and ask him to remove it from your chart and explain that you work in a hospital and do not want to risk it becoming "public" knowledge because you've seen the consequences of it. You can reiterate that you are seeking treatment for it and you are willing to accept a referral from him for a psychiatrist, but that you don't want a paper trail.

That would probably be enough to pacify the situation. Even if you are anti-meds, psychiatrists can still help you. They can run blood work for you just to make sure your issues aren't being compounded by a biological issue. They are also a great resource for additional supports that don't have to include medication.

Either way, if you don't want to go, then don't, but I think you let the gynecologist think that you're considering his suggestions and explain your situation, he'd be more likely to let things go.

All I know is that in 2013 more people died in the US from suicide than from car accidents.

Although cars are safer now than they have ever been, it's still a sobering fact.

It's time the medical profession stepped up as mental health is public health issue.

If you decide to abstain from the medical profession, fine. However, the medical profession cannot and should not abstain from offering assistance to the patients in front of them.

It's not a judgement, it's their job - and they need to do it now more than ever ever before.

Your T isn't a pdoc, are they? Sounds like your dr is referring to another dr, not talk therapist. What's the fear?

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This is exactly what I disagree with. And they not only "offer" it - but often will imprison people in psych wards (where my clients come from) when people seek medical attention for physical conditions and disagree with or choose not to continue the treatment.

Seems to me the medical professionals can never win. As a society we want our medical personal to treat those with mental health issues the same as anybody else. However, when they try to we get angry. We can't have it both way. Would you object if you went to the same doctor and he found something out of the ordinary but medical?? Would you insist that not be in your chart and be angry if he suggested you see another specialist in the field more appropriate for your condition or is it only for mental health issues?? Even is you felt you had it under control or were dealing with it?

Dr.s and such are now trained to look for sings of depression, SI and mental health conditions because you never know if you might be that one person that the person feels comfortable opening up to. Unfortunately, cutting is often a SI attempt in many peoples mind. Granted for most it isn't likely that they would be successful but the attempt is there. So maybe he overreacted in YOUR case or was poor in the way he dealt with it however, I for one am glad that doctors do take it seriously....sorry that it bothers you so much.

I agree with the litigious society. If I had a $ for every patient who told us they were going to sue us...I would be rich. We currently have a man who is there involutary and committed by the courts. He told us many times as well as the judge that if we discharged him he was going to blow his brain out....we will not allow him to go outside in our court yard because he tried to escape. He will be suing us for not allowing him to go outside and that is his right....yup we are big mean medical people...

I'm just glad that my Neuro suggested, not insisted. At the same time, my scars are old, not fresh.

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If actually trained, then they would know self harm is not the same as a suicide attempt. Avoid mds at all costs is the advice I give my clients when we get them out.

It might not be the same, yet, clearly being seen by a trained physician isn't so bad, is it? I agree, don't rush into meds. Seeing a pdoc doesn't necessarily mean you must take any medicine. I'm far from overly prescribed. With my past history, sh, si, sa and actually being in a rather high risk category for sa due to my neurological illess(es??), it is a practical decision to be under physician care.

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Monkeybrains - Yeah, I agree it has a lot to do with how you approach the situation. I think he did a good job in his approach until he mentioned the stuff about T and the got on the whole "you need to stop that" thing. Thank you though. I do take care of my body and I've never harmed myself enough to need any kind of treatment - ever.

Stopdog - I don't feel like he treated me out of a political view of women more as the result of fear that has been invoked in him because of his friends recent sui.

Unlockingsanity - I do believe that he cares and I don't think his intention was to be rude. I do also think that he is a good doctor and honestly I believe that your response is probably the best suggestion on how to handle the situation. I don't really like the idea of the blood tests, etc. I feel like that's all "searching" for something to be there. I've seen people in the mental health system between family and patients of my own and I want to cry for how they are treated almost every time.

Elliemay - Good statistics and yes the idea is sobering; however i'm more prochoice on the issue than I am "force people to live against their will". I do think that my doc was doing his job and don't hate him for it. I just want to maintain having a choice.

In the minds of MANY cutters it IS a SI...often a weak on but still in their minds an attempt

Sometimes blood work can explain a lot of things though. There are other things that can have the same symptoms as depressions...such as UTI's (esp in the elderly), thyroid issues, low iron, low vitamin D. They are only looking to make sure there aren't other medical issues aren't causing the problems.

But it is educationally seen as a method to COPE, not to DIE.

There always exceptions, but it is generally or most likely seen as a coping method.

I work with a Dr. at the hospital that says he would rather be sued and lose because he was over cautious and the patient lived than have a patient go out and kill themselves and then go to court and win....

I agree it is whole heartedly, however, I LARGE majority of our patient who are admitted to our hospital when asked what their plans are for SI is to cut themselves and bleed until they die.

Currently we have young MR patient who her plan was to squeeze her arm until it caused her to bleed to death. Feasible?? Of course not however, if she is in the frame of mind that she is looking for ways to die it needs to be treated....she is in our hospital voluntarily as she knows she needs help

Healingme4me: Okay to be completely honest. Half of my fear of pDocs stems from my parental figure who told me as a young child that if i got in the system of pdocs they would force me to medicate and lock me up if i refused to take it appropriately. As an adult working with them and with family members with mental health issues - i've seen this proven true. The point is it was a hard lesson for an 11/12 year old but i learned it well.

Stopdog - i concur on these points.

Nottrustin - i work in the medical field and hope to be a medical professional within the next few years. I am not knocking them at all. My original question had to do with my choice to receive or refuse treatment without repercussion. to me the medical professionals can never win. I likely would not object if he found something medical but out of the ordinary but i would expect him to accept my wishes if I denied treatment and requested it not be charted. I was never angry with the suggestion of the pDoc as long as i have the right to refuse it. That is my only objection. Especially if i thought i had it control. I was diagnosed with pcos an (including this visit) have denied treatment for that and he's told me to come to him when i want treatment. I want the same options for this scenario as well. I actually don't know many cutters who have tried to cut for sui purposes but maybe you do and thats fine. Like you said it may be overreacting in my case (and it is) but I expect to be treated for my needs based on my own conditions not everyone else in a similar situation. I am not the general public; i am Teal.

And honestly the sarcastic "we are big mean medical people" is the mentality that causes me to not trust pdocs and other professionals. That mind frame suggests to me that its not my well being or feelings you care about but your own interest and covering your own butts. And i work with these people so i see it all the time and I find myself advocating for my patients against the nurses and doctora habitual drugging of people just because you don't like what they are saying or they are annoying. I don't know. I'll get off my soap box my question has already been answered.

Healingme4me - yes i'm glad it is an option as well. I just had the fear that it wasn't a suggestion but a mandate.

Stopdog - Yes. I'm completely against meds because once your on them you lose your voice no matter how intelligent you are.

Healingme4me - yea i guess its really the med thing and lack of choice that are my biggest fears.

Well, this varies immensely depending on where in the world you live. We get calls to mammography screenings every 2 years from the age of 40, but in many countries there are no routine mammographies at all. And I don't think there are any standard annual checkups for women here, though I am admittedly not very familiar with those things.

teal - I hear you on the choice issue.