I Messed Up

Nothing happened, he can refer as much as he wants to, you aren't obligated to follow up with the referral.

And to be honest, I wouldn't trust the choice of a doctor who has such views on mental health issues. If you want to see a psychiatrist better choose one on your own or ask your therapist for a referral.

Nottrustin - i work in the medical field and hope to be a medical professional within the next few years. I am not knocking them at all. My original question had to do with my choice to receive or refuse treatment without repercussion. to me the medical professionals can never win. I likely would not object if he found something medical but out of the ordinary but i would expect him to accept my wishes if I denied treatment and requested it not be charted. I was never angry with the suggestion of the pDoc as long as i have the right to refuse it. That is my only objection. Especially if i thought i had it control. I was diagnosed with pcos an (including this visit) have denied treatment for that and he's told me to come to him when i want treatment. I want the same options for this scenario as well. I actually don't know many cutters who have tried to cut for sui purposes but maybe you do and thats fine. Like you said it may be overreacting in my case (and it is) but I expect to be treated for my needs based on my own conditions not everyone else in a similar situation. I am not the general public; i am Teal.

And honestly the sarcastic "we are big mean medical people" is the mentality that causes me to not trust pdocs and other professionals. That mind frame suggests to me that its not my well being or feelings you care about but your own interest and covering your own butts. And i work with these people so i see it all the time and I find myself advocating for my patients against the nurses and doctora habitual drugging of people just because you don't like what they are saying or they are annoying. I don't know. I'll get off my soap box my question has already been answered.

To clarify I don't think you are overreacted. I think you are feeling the way you are feeling and that is not wrong. I am trying to explain from the providers point of view. Sometimes the providers overreact because unfortunately mental health does not have a definitive test to say yes it is this. So they have to go with statistics, what they have seen, the relationship with the patient and instinct.

Nottrustin - i'd be very cool with those tests but only if performed by my GP. I trust him with my health waaaaaay more.

Unlockingsanity - i agree. I do know one person who tried to cut to doe but she was also a child. I get that it could be either i just want to be heard because i known that i specifically am not sui.

Nottrustin - its because he doesn't want to be at fault or because he cares about he patients life? That makes all the difference to me. Sometimes it sounds better than intended and is really a statement based on justification than humanity. I also agree with the issue of the young lady; again its all circumstantial and i just want to be able to plea my own case without having the impressions of others worse off convoluting my doctors thoughts.

Nottrustin - ok. I see. You do have a legitimate point about the definitive testing. And thanks.

I can't speak for your doctor but yeah I think in general it is because they care. Most doctors care about their patients and wants what is best with them. Sometimes their "bedside manners" suck. However, it isn't because they don't care (like anything their is a exception to every rule). Unfortunately, in our hospital there is a HUGE gap between gp and mental health. A lot of our gps are afraid to come to our unit as they don't want to deal with it...

I also understand not wanting it to be part of you record with everybody. Since I work at the hospital where I see my pdoc (she doesn't work on the unit) I have it specifically so that my records are closed to even most staff in the practice...none of the doctors I work with have access to my records unless I were to become hospitalized or whatever...obviously I would go to another hospital though. Even my pcp doesn't have access to her records even though my pcdoc works one day a week at the office. I see her at a different office and I offered to sign a release for pcp but she declined saying that she knew I had an excellent provider so she didn't see a need at the time.

Of course self harm is not a suicide attempt, but it is an indication of someone who needs coping skills and could potentially benefit from additional assistance, or at least help in obtaining it if they want it.

Suicide is, however, the measurable outcome used in public health statistics and those statistics are hard to ignore.

Extreme thinking, on both sides, is what lead us to this place. Burying ourselves under the "all MDs suck" blanket is not going to help. Likewise, living in a an MD la la land where all is bright and wonderful won't either. In fact, both are ill-advised in my opinion.

Even though I know a lot of horrible horrible ones, I certainly wouldn't advise people seeking my counsel to avoid lawyers as there may be a time when they most assuredly would need them.

I thought the same thing when i read Unlockingsanity's thread. It does sound like a really good suggestion.

It believe an internist/PCP (or even the OBGYN) should be testing for this stuff--doing the ruling out--before sending someone to a psychiatrist. Especially for someone who doesn't feel they need a psychiatrist but who is insightful, has a good head on her shoulders, and who is responsibly undergoing psychotherapy treatment (that would be Teal). In some regions, there are people with severe mental illness waiting months to see psychiatrists for their expertise in psychopharmacology.

Wow, Teal-this thread turned out to be a very good discussion! I hope you keep us updated and good luck with your situation.

I've been going to an OBGYN every year since I was 14. In the US, it was required in order to get oral and other types of contraceptives. I don't know if that's changed recently. I believe, according to some clinical guidelines, that paps are only required every two years now for those w/o certain risk factors.

I've also had mammograms since i was in my 30s, but i think that was a direct result of doctors who practice defensive medicine.

My personal stance on suicide is not the one endorsed by most.
I suggest avoiding court too if people can.
The medical system makes it much harder to avoid or get out of - both because of legislation and people's patriarchal attitudes about it, bodies, mental health and life.
I hope the OP can make her own choices without interference or bullying or worse from the medical profession.

Personally, I don't think you messed up, he did. By contacting "some pdoc" he knows, he violated your Hippa and confidentiality rights. You did Not sign a form allowing him to contact someone on your behalf.

Additionally, most GYN's and MD's have very little experience with SI or ED's for that matter. I believe quite strongly that they should refer to pdoc's and Therapists for counseling. It is one thing to voice concern, see how you are handling things, what docs you have seen etc. It would also be appropriate to ask if you need some recommendations and give you a LIST of people that he can recommend....even to show how much he really cares to contact you in a few weeks to see if you have followed up....

IF he really believed you were suicidal, and after talking with you really thought that were true, by law he would have to send you to ER for proper psych evaluation.

Instead, he shamed you, broke your confidentiality, and failed to offer any real help. I'm sorry, but you did nothing wrong, and he did everything wrong....I would find a new GYN and remember to alert any docs that they might notice something, but that you are receiving help. You have rights. Assumptions that SI is automatically SUI behaviours are intrinsically ignorant.

I hope you might consider finding a pdoc of your choice that might be able to alleviate some of the symptoms, emotional pain, depression, anxiety, etc that might be furthering your SI activity. They have the extra medical training to make those decisions....
I hope you find the help you deserve..

-WB

I agree about the "looking"... I have had this exam by my PCP (female) and gyn (male) and they both look away while doing the exam.

I think there has been some very black and white discussion on this thread about how medical professionals can't win. Surely the issue is not WHETHER he did anything but WHAT he did, HOW he said it. His options weren't silence vs unhelpful comments.

A better way to handle it would have been to ask if anyone else knows about it, if you're working on developing different coping mechanisms, and if there's anything he could do to help you with it, and to express his regret that you're in that much pain.

Telling someone to just stop is demeaning, unhelpful and absolutely not the only abailable response.

She said he wasn't looking until he felt a scab. Perfectly correct to look at that point. I don't actually agree with the belief they shouldn't be looking though. A thorough breast exam includes looking for visual findings for things like dimpling, unusual assymetry, sores, oozing, etc.

Oh okay, I didn't see that post. The thread is 7 pages long now so admittedly, I did skip over a lot. I would be incredibly uncomfortable if looking was involved but I do agree it is necessary and makes sense once they feel something odd. I am a bit jaded when it comes to doctors in general.