[CantExplain]

Hi guys!

My wife suggests that a way to deal with difficult people (like Madame T!) is to offer them food. And research shows that people are much less argumentative on a full stomach.

Has anyone ever tried this?

[CantExplain]

Maybe I should just see her first session after lunch!

[Leah123]

Yes, in my career in retail management, prior to my working at home, I always brought food for meetings, during stressful events, and just for morale. Food is basically a cheap and easy way to increase goodwill in my book.

I have often wished my therapist worked closer to me so I could bring her treats. I think it's a nice way to express consideration and caring without doing anything too extravagant that might set off boundary-crossing warning bells.

I used to want to bring my T a peanut butter sandwich - not really sure where that came from - although I never did.

[HazelGirl]

Or maybe see a T who won't be angry at you and you don't need to worry about it...

On a side note, my T is always eating during my appointments. She offers some to me every week despite me saying no every time. But she does eat all the time.

[OneWorld]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

On a side note, my T is always eating during my appointments. She offers some to me every week despite me saying no every time. But she does eat all the time.

What kind of food? Like snacking on a cookie or eating her lunch?

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[OneWorld]

T has coffee. I want to bring coffee but I never have. I like to sit on yet couch on the end that isn't near the table to set the coffee on if I need to.

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[RTerroni]

I actually mentioned this to my Therapist (possibly having lunch at session) and she told me while she was not completely opposed to it that she didn't see much Therapeutic value in it. In a few weeks I (hopefully) will be getting a new Therapist and I will have to see what their boundaries are regarding food in session.

[stopdog]

I don't want to eat near the therapist nor have the therapist eat near me except in some unusual circumstance. I have no urge to feed the woman.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by OneWorld

What kind of food? Like snacking on a cookie or eating her lunch?

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Snacks. Seeds, nuts, sometimes fruit. My appointment is in the afternoon, so it's between lunch and dinner. That might be part of why.

[tooski]

Several times I've brought coffee or small amounts of food for my T, but it's rare. It can be tricky if you don't know your T's tastes. I brought a latte once, which he politely drank, then found out months later he only likes black coffee. Brought in a cake pop from Starbucks once, then found out later he rarely eats sweets. But he was nice about accepting my bribes ... er, gifts ... and never said anything.

But I agree with your wife about the food thing. T even says that "breaking bread" together helps create intimacy. So it might help with Madame T to ply her with foodstuffs in the hopes of softening her up. Hope it works!

The thought of eating and trying to have a deep discussion at the same time just doesn't work for me. I'd be distracted. On occasion my T will offer me a snack, but I've never been one to partake.

[rainboots87]

I don't know that my Ts would want or accept food from me. If I brought something for them, I imagine they'd have it later and not right then and there.

I've brought my own snacks or been eating my meal before session and continued into the session, but my Ts know I have a past with EDNOS so I'm sure they don't mind me eating when I'm hungry.

[likelife]

I've never brought food into therapy, for my T or myself. But last week my T offered me a piece of gum after she had taken one for herself. For some reason that struck me as funny.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have no urge to feed the woman.

Lol! You crack me up Stopdog!
I've never had the urge to feed my Ts either. They both look like they eat more than I do anyway...

[growlycat]

I used to bake cookies for main T for the holidays until one year he pretty much accused me of sabotaging his diet. He got plants every year after that. No cookies for you!!!!

Here's another tactic---supposedly people trust you and are more at ease if you are wearing soft pink. Especially men.It says you are confident enough to wear pink yet approachable and trustworthy.

trying to find the source article!!!

[lightcatcher]

Just done some study on this thing, eating when you want to be calm, or feeding another to calm them. It gives the brain a sense that there is no danger and that all is safe (as you cant really run from danger while stuffing food in your mouth - some could try). Anyway, it would be good to ease each of you in to a calm and pretend safety.
I dont think I could eat with T in Ts office- out somewhere maybe a coffee. Emotions and eating (in session with T) dont go hand in hand. Outside of T office emotions and eating are best friends- go figure!!!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I used to bake cookies for main T for the holidays until one year he pretty much accused me of sabotaging his diet. He got plants every year after that. No cookies for you!!!!

Here's another tactic---supposedly people trust you and are more at ease if you are wearing soft pink. Especially men.It says you are confident enough to wear pink yet approachable and trustworthy.

trying to find the source article!!!

Lol!

I've worn pink with Madame T. Maybe I'll try that again!

(Still haven't made up my mind to see her, though.)

[clairelisbeth]

I eat pretty frequently in session with my T, but she is an ED T, and it's planned......

She also brought dessert in for my birthday and we ate that together....that was really lovely of her.

I think that if I felt as though I needed to bring her food of some sort to soften her up.....I probably wouldn't want to work with her.....

No, there is no food or drink consumed in T's office while I'm there. I can't conceive of offering him anything to eat or drink. I've brought a Thermos mug with tea a few times but never dared to take it out and drink during session.

[growlycat]

I found this, even though it isn't exactly the same article I was thinking of, a case for pink shirts nonetheless.

Men who wear pink shirts earn £1,000 a year more than those who don't | Mail Online

[anilam]

Yeah, if I felt I need to feed my T in order to have successful therapy with him I'd find a new T Asap.
In you situation CE, and with your T-pain the way I remember her to be- I doubt it'll help much :/

I have eaten with my T, She also does group therapy and we take a break for 15 minutes so have coffee and a little snack.

My t and i eat together nearly every time we are together to talk. She loves it when i bring her treats. She loves to ask for my homemade banana bread, she says its her favorite thing in the world to eat If i dont have anything home made to eat we might go out for a sandwich, pizza, or ice cream.

[nottrustin]

I always bring a coffee I offered to bring T one in the beginning but she doesn't drink T. She knows coffee is one of my stress relieving coping skills. She always has a beverage like a vitamin water. I have never bought food although in one of my first sessions she told me it was completely fine with her as she knows I see her at dinner time but couldn't do it. I have bought her baked goods a couple of times and homemade lasagna but knew it wasn't something she wouldn't consume there but rather take home to share with her son....