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  #1  
Old May 30, 2014, 06:35 PM
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SheHulk07 SheHulk07 is offline
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Would you tell your T if you're pregnant?

I've been working with my main T for almost a year now, and with all I've dealt with the past few months, I think this is important information to share with him.

What about my group therapists?

I feel like I could use all the support I can get right now. I don't even know how I'm going to make it until I have group on Tuesday morning after finding this out.
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  #2  
Old May 30, 2014, 07:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyFed07 View Post
Would you tell your T if you're pregnant?

I've been working with my main T for almost a year now, and with all I've dealt with the past few months, I think this is important information to share with him.

What about my group therapists?

I feel like I could use all the support I can get right now. I don't even know how I'm going to make it until I have group on Tuesday morning after finding this out.
I would definitely tell my T if I were pregnant. I've never really been in group therapy, but if I needed the support it's something I would probably share with a group T too.
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  #3  
Old May 30, 2014, 07:06 PM
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Yeah, I would share. What is causing you to not want to share?
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  #4  
Old May 30, 2014, 07:09 PM
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Congratulations! Yes, I would share it. I did with my T, years ago because she knew H and I were waiting a long time. I'd share it with your group too.
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  #5  
Old May 30, 2014, 07:18 PM
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Originally Posted by HazelGirl View Post
Yeah, I would share. What is causing you to not want to share?
I wasn't for sure if it's something that I should share right away or not, but thinking about it I think I need to. I'm just worried about it being another ectopic pregnancy or a false positive and telling anyone. Plus it wasn't exactly planned either.

Last edited by SheHulk07; May 30, 2014 at 07:31 PM.
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  #6  
Old May 30, 2014, 07:20 PM
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Hope it's what you want. I understand the fear. But your T can help you through it if you end up disappointed.
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  #7  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:00 PM
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i wouldn't count telling your T as "telling anyone" ... my guess is that your T is going to be a big help if it is another ectopic pregnancy. congrats!
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  #8  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:03 PM
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I would tell your T too, She will support you. Congratulations
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  #9  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:06 PM
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I probably wouldn't tell the group yet if it was me. Most likely I'd tell t.
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  #10  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:09 PM
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I wasn't thinking of telling the group, just maybe my group T as a check in.

Thank you all. I will definitely share this with my T!
  #11  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:23 PM
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A lot of people wait until after the first trimester (work, group situations) but isn't therapy a bit more intimate? I would think therapy would be a great place to bring it up right away. Maybe wait on telling groups??
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  #12  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyFed07 View Post
I wasn't for sure if it's something that I should share right away or not, but thinking about it I think I need to. I'm just worried about it being another ectopic pregnancy or a false positive and telling anyone. Plus it wasn't exactly planned either.
These are reasonable concerns and worth sharing with your T
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  #13  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:31 PM
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I would tell T.
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  #14  
Old May 30, 2014, 09:52 PM
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Thank you all. I have only told 1 person other than my husband, and that's because she's my cousin and I definitely need the support either way.
  #15  
Old May 30, 2014, 10:18 PM
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I think you should definitely share with one of them - probably your main therapist as I expect you have more time with him to speak privately - you can hopefully discharge some of the worry there, and decompress.
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  #16  
Old May 30, 2014, 11:19 PM
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Since I see 2 different therapists (1 male & 1 female) plus the group T, I see my female T on Tuesday night. Therefore, she will likely be the first of my T's to know unless I call my main T on Monday.

I wonder if that would be too weird to call him up Monday to just tell him I'm pregnant and I need to talk to him about it on Wednesday??

It's horrible timing right now because we're right in the middle of working on setting boundaries with my father that will be here for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. My father is a huge trigger for me, and we haven't gotten to talk yet since my father has been out here. I was going to discuss that with him yesterday but he was out sick.
  #17  
Old May 30, 2014, 11:23 PM
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I would definitely tell T, and I think it would be a good idea to call him on Monday. Not weird at all.
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  #18  
Old May 30, 2014, 11:26 PM
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One way or another, your T's are going to know soon anyway. (Heck, I could barely hide my pregnancies beyond conception because I started showing almost as soon as I knew.) And your concerns of possible early complications are even more reason to let your T know what is going on early on. Congratulations by the way.
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  #19  
Old May 31, 2014, 01:09 AM
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That is true, that he will eventually know one way or another if he stays with the practice (he's an intern right now). I will see if I have the courage to call him on Monday and just quickly check in with him and update him on this. Thank you for all your advice & support!
  #20  
Old May 31, 2014, 12:34 PM
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Does being pregnant feel like good news for you right now? Sometimes it can be weird to hear people congratulating you about it if you're feeling upset or ambivalent. Do you think your various T's will respond in a way that makes you feel supported?

I think however you feel about this pregnancy and wherever it goes, it's a pretty big deal. I wouldn't feel like addressing it with everyone if a pregnancy didn't continue to term. But I would definitely feel like I was hiding something huge if I didn't tell my T. It actually would not occur to me not to tell her. I wonder if you're worried about getting a specific reaction that might make you uncomfortable?
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  #21  
Old May 31, 2014, 12:57 PM
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Yes, I would tell my therapist if I were pregnant, especially if I felt like I needed the support. Besides, it's going to show later even if you don't say it now.
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  #22  
Old May 31, 2014, 02:40 PM
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Yes, because no matter the outcome you will need support.
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  #23  
Old May 31, 2014, 03:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans View Post
Does being pregnant feel like good news for you right now? Sometimes it can be weird to hear people congratulating you about it if you're feeling upset or ambivalent. Do you think your various T's will respond in a way that makes you feel supported?

I think however you feel about this pregnancy and wherever it goes, it's a pretty big deal. I wouldn't feel like addressing it with everyone if a pregnancy didn't continue to term. But I would definitely feel like I was hiding something huge if I didn't tell my T. It actually would not occur to me not to tell her. I wonder if you're worried about getting a specific reaction that might make you uncomfortable?
No it doesn't feel like good news to me, but I'm trying to find the silver lining. Just more scared than anything that it's going to fail or be an ectopic pregnancy again. I think my T's will all be supportive. I just never been in therapy when I got pregnant, just started therapy after I had the ectopic due to grief. That's why I wasn't for sure if it's something I should share with them now or in a few weeks when I know for sure from the ultrasound.
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  #24  
Old May 31, 2014, 03:14 PM
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I would....not cause it would be a miracle since I'm a guy, but the larger the support network the less strain on you or any one member of that support network.

Congratulations!

Would you share this with your T?

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  #25  
Old May 31, 2014, 03:21 PM
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I would definitely share. I was terrified when I first got pregnant and called T for an emergency session immediately (which wasn't really allowed then as she wasn't in private practice at that point) and she saw me the next day and was am amazing support from then on. Hope you find your T's supportive too
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