"So why did you become a therapist?"

A job for lazy losers!

Whose fault is that? If T deliberately withholds that information, we are entitled to assume the worst.

Mine said that too. I felt so bad for asking - and I wasn't being nosey.

Mine said this too - it really made me feel bad like I had overstepped her very rigid boundary. She made me feel so nosey for asking.

I didn't say Stopdog wasn't right. It's just that she complains all the time that her T tries to assume things and make judgments about her when she does the exact same thing to her T.

I have no problems if the therapist keeps her assumptions and judgments to herself and does not tell me about them. My problem with the therapist assuming she knows anything about me, is that she is not listening to me and because she is wrong all the time. She has never once been right. If she is going to assume about me, it can't possibly be wrong for me to do it about her - less wrong in my opinion, because my assumptions about her do not effect her one way or the other.

If your issue with me was the tiny assumption that the woman became a therapist because of her upbringing -well perhaps she had a terrible upbringing and felt helped by therapy (things she has told me)- but it played no part in her decision.(the part I don't know). The math part they agreed with and once she tried to do uncomplicated arithmetic in her head and it was both painful to watch and she got it wrong. The other parts have been my experience with them- no assuming there.
The woman can Judge and assume away other than that. It is a main complaint I have when the woman talks. But now I don't let her talk often, so it happens much much less.
Plus I never ever said I was fair when it came to therapists. I am not. I don't have much respect for them as a whole. The woman does know this is my belief and it does not bother her.

Mostly I think.

Wow. I really don't comprehend why people with no respect for therapy and therapists bother to invest in therapy. It makes absolutely no sesnse.

So if you don't respect them and have no interest in hearing what she has to say, why don't you just talk to (or, at) a friend for free? It really is mind-boggling.

Friends are different and I would never tell them the things I tell the therapist. I have my reasons. No need for minds to boggle.

Why does Stopdog see a therapist?
How is Keith Richard still alive?

These are the Mysteries at the Museum.

I don't really understand why a client would need or want to know this about their T. The one who said the question is too much focus on him and not enough on the client is exactly right, IMO. I'm there to work on myself, not to make a new bff.

definitely! Good thing the AC is on - this made me LOL.

Ie stopdog im not worried about, but keith - yeah come on out!!

Yeah, I know. This is the kind of shyt that keeps me up at night.

Stopdog, why oh why do you keep seeing that woman? Keith, I know you must be on this forum, please let us know!

Also, what happened to MH370? Anyone?

I do like/sometimes love my T's but it is important to me to know how much they are capable of empathy. Going through something similar is not a requirement, but I'd like to know. It helps me trust what T is saying isn't BS.

Actually, i chose my t because he did disclose this information about himself in the media. We dont have similar backgrounds, but there are similar things that happened that a person just has to accept. I think maybe a t who says, "oh no, lets talk about YOU " could be in denial about how he or she dealt with a huge issue in their past, or doesnt know how to mentor someone thru the process. Like i cant complain about my mother to some of my girlfriends because then they take it as im criticizing their own parenting skills or their relationship with their families. But im pretty sure my family is "different" and my t acknowledges it without taking it personally. So i do wanna know that my ts family was different-normalish. That he wasnt raised on easy street, but he got there?

ALIVE

Keith Richards

Field:Music

Info:Guitarist for the band The Rolling Stones, widely believed to be dead based on appearance

Dead or Alive? - Keith Richards

I think hes the main reason kids today believe in zombies and such.

I'm not a T and don't really see myself becoming one but I do think I'd enjoy it some of the time. Because I feel honored when people confide in me. That's kind of a high-minded way of saying that I'm nosy and curious so I find it very interesting to hear things that people find to be personal or shameful or upsetting. To some extent, don't many of us who come here enjoy the glimpse into the private experience of someone else's therapy? I'm pretty good at keeping confidences so the curiosity is not about gossiping later. While it would be a stretch to say that I don't judge, I think I'm pretty conscious of my judgmental thoughts and generally don't share that when I'm in listening mode. Not that anyone was asking me, cause clearly I'm not a therapist! But just saying I can see motivations for doing it beyond altruism or having been wounded oneself.

never mind...TMI

They're all wounded healers! Unless your T is the one person on the planet with zero wounds.

Actually I think I'm taking a perfectly healthy interest in myself if I want to know whether my T went into this job for a good reason. Some of them don't.

I also think it's a normal part of the process to be interested in your T as a person, especially if yours takes a relational not blank slate approach.

I don't think that expression is commonly used for people who just experienced "life" , that is for people without significant trauma or unusually difficult circumstances in their life.

My T said once that he loved his job, but I didn't ask him why. He's a drummer in a band (probably gets his frustrations out on those drums..lol). He was in a very popular local band a few years ago that was headed for the big time until they lost their lead singer. When he told me this, he sounded really disappointed the band broke up. One of the reasons I really connected with him was we shared a passion for music.

I often wonder, though, if his band hit the big time, would he have quit being a T? I probably would.

I think most people have experienced some emotionally wounding experiences and carry some pain with them.

I think that's a bit of a generalization, about a therapist who won't discuss personal decisions with a client being in denial. This doesn't mean the therapist doesn't have an answer, it just means s/he isn't willing to disclose it at the time. Which may be a wise decision in certain cases - if the relationship isn't strong enough yet and it's a very disturbing personal history which might affect the client, or if the therapist just doesn't feel comfortable discussing it with a client. I agree that the reason for becoming a therapist might be professionally relevant, but to the client it's really the most important that the therapist is there now and whether s/he's good. At least for me personally, it matters the most that my therapist is there for me a lot, not so much why he first decided to be a therapist (besides motivation can change over time anyway, once one starts the actual work and during one's professional life). I know it can be hurtful when you ask for a piece of information that's important to you and the therapist refuses to discuss it, I'm just saying that this answer is often just that, and not (necessarily) an indication that the therapist is in denial. There are many aspects that a therapist needs to consider when making the decision whether or not to self-disclose.