[maggyjo]

Before this I was with my last T for 2 years. I have been in and out of T for about 30 years.

I am in a spot in therapy where I want to include touch. I want my T to hold my hand or sit near when I need it. This T said she won't do this and is not even sure how she would go about finding me a T that would. I started with a therapist at 13yo. After a suicide attempt. In the last 30 years I have seen a handful of therapist, none offered any touch. And up till not I never wanted it, but now I do.

Frustrated!

[RTerroni]

I hope you can find a Therapist who can better fit your needs.

[stopdog]

Could you make this requirement part of your initial inquiry when you call up new ones?

[Virginia1991]

I can relate and I think it is good that you are at a point where you know what you need and want. I would look for specific therapists: somatic experiencing therapists or therapists that include bodywork maybe. I am in the same boat but already feel attached to my CBT therapist. Luckily she is not completely opposed to touch. She will sit by me sometimes and she will hug me. I really wish she would hold my hand but she would probably say "no" so I have not asked. There are therapists out there who will just let your "needs" be known up front.

[shabur]

I agree that you should include this as a part of your interview with potential Ts. But understand that what you are asking/wanting is a boundary issue and agreeing to this up front could lead to a malpractice suit.

Now, there have been times when I have been in such a state my T has asked if I would like her to sit next to me, if I would like her to hold me, and both my Ts ask if I want a hug.

You may want to phrase your inquiry as "what are the boundary issues in situations where I need you to sit near me, ...?"

[Willowleaf]

Maybe a body psychotherapist or someone along those lines might help?

[Aloneandafraid]

Thank you for this thread. I wish you well in the next step of your journey. I too feel that I need touch but I don't get it. My T is very "stringent".... I have been with her for just over a year and so far there has been absolutely no touch and I am just too afraid to ask as she gives me the impression it is one of her boundary issues. I hate this. I feel so needy for even wanting this. Frustrated too.

Please keep us posted on how it goes. I am really interested.

[rainbow8]

I agree that you should look for a T who does bodywork or somatic experiencing. My T used to only do internal family systems and EMDR, but she allowed touch. Look for a T who is not strictly a "talk therapy" kind of T, but be sure they are licensed and have or are seeking advanced training in the techniques they use.

Good luck!

[becca_hh]

2 thoughts: 1. This is just my observation, but it seems like he likelihood of T-touching is maybe very affected by the general relational style of your geographic area. (thoughts??) I'm from the midwest where affection and friendliness are often expressed with touch even with casual acquaintances. I have had a few T's over the years- and outside of therapy, have had a few friends who were T's- and I never even realized hugs were a thing some T's won't do until I visited this site!

2. If you can't find a T comfortable with the touch you need, I have heard of some people having good, psychologically healing, experiences through massage therapy.

[Raging Quiet]

I see a body psychotherapist who uses touch and massage. In the USA, this is called Somatic therapy I think.

[globe mallow]

Somatic therapy, somatic experiencing, or somatic transformation, therapists who do body centered therapy. My T is a somatic transformation therapist. Sometimes it seemed to help, but not so much lately. Hope you find what you're looking for.