[globe mallow]

I have been in therapy for 10 years, same therapist. I started having panic attacks after therapy, like as soon as I got to my car. I told my therapist but it never got any better. I kept telling him I didn't know what to do. After months of this, I had a bad one, that left me more afraid and suicidal. I called him and said I didn't know what to do but I thought I should quit coming. He sent me an article that he thought would help. It was very triggering. I wrote him a letter and told him. He sent me a note saying he would write more in a week. It's been 2 months and I haven't heard from him. I don't know what to do now. Any suggestions? The anxiety is bad, and talking to people is out of the question. Somehow this forum thing feels safer.

[stopdog]

The first therapist I see is terrible at helping me with panic and anxiety - so I see a second one who has been very useful.
Could you see a different therapist?

[harvest moon]

How often do you see your T? Because you write that you haven't heard from him for two months, if I am understanding correctly?

[HazelGirl]

If I am understanding correctly, you haven't seen your T in two months. Can you find a different T and explain what happened?

[globe mallow]

I was seeing T every week for many years but funds got short so it went to every other week and then once a month. I tried going more often for a while, but it didn't help. Now it's been 2 months since I have seen him.

[globe mallow]

Stopdog, you're a brave soul, I'm not sure I can tell my story to another therapist. That thought makes me crazy.

[HazelGirl]

I can understand how difficult that might be. But it sounds like your T has abandoned you. I am so sorry.

[globe mallow]

thanks HazelGirl

I have had to move therapists, the first after a little over a year, the second after around nine months. "Telling your story again", as you say it, is scary and nigh impossible. What helped me was to not try to continue where you finished with the previous T, but start over. Think back to when you first started therapy. What was the thing that was bothering you most? Usually, there is one thing that "just couldn't go on any longer like this", and what made you decide to enter therapy. I've peeked on your profile, and among your issues are PTSD and depression. One rarely seeks therapy because they have been diagnosed - one seeks therapy because certain symptoms are bothering you. (A T once told me she didn't think I was depressed because I didn't complain of loss of interest. I didn't talk about that because she hadn't asked, and it didn't really bother me that I'm not interested in anything, so I didn't report it as "things that bother me". What bothered me was feeling so very, very low.). Perhaps it was nightmares, insomnia, or you weren't able to force yourself to get out of bed or into the shower for four days in a row.

So you went to therapy. I imagine your first request was much like "Help me get over my nightmares", "I want to sleep at night again," or "I can't/can barely bring myself to get out of bed in the morning".

What does this mean? It means that you can find a new T, and tell him or her "I'm experiencing panic attacks, help me get over them."

You don't have to tell your whole story! You and your T can work on combating the panic first and foremost.

You might want to consider CBT: Cognitive behavioral therapy. It's very problem-solving-oriented. More about solving the problem than about examining how the problem came into existence.

Good luck, whether without therapy, with your current T, or with another T. :-)