[HazelGirl]

I have this dream occasionally, and I had it again last night. But last night it was a combination of the "normal" dream and some new aspects from my current life. I will try and remember what I can.

It went like this: I am moving because I can't afford my current place. But I am not moving far, just to a nearby apartment. And in the meantime, I am staying with the family whom I stayed with before I moved into my apartment. So I am "going back" to where I was at in December before moving into a new place.

We then leave for camp (camp is the repeating part that I have had a lot of times, to the point where I recognize it in my dream and know what I am going to find there). Camp is designed after this old western town, but they have ampitheaters and other such things for large group meetings. They also have a TON of bathroom stalls, like whole huge buildings of bathroom stalls. But there's never anywhere near enough people at camp for this many stalls. And the stalls are built very weirdly. They're very small, and they only have enough room to cover my privates while going, but my head sticks out the top and my legs stick out the bottom. Very weird. And I end up spending the whole dream running around trying to find a place to pee in private because it's so revealing and intimidating everywhere at this camp. End of dream.

I know the first part about moving relates to my life and what I have going on right now. But the second part is weird. Maybe it's got to do with the vulnerability I feel regarding my counseling appointment yesterday? Any thoughts? I have this dream a lot, so it would be nice to know what it means.

[HazelGirl]

Oh, and I don't know if this makes any difference, but I have a lot of real life bathroom anxiety as well.

[sweepy62]

I'm not good with dreams but I think that the second part has to do with you and your t, and your vulnerabilities in session , how you hold back, and how you think she finds you disgusting or is mad at you, and you need to hide.

So you are hiding your most vulnerable parts in that stall just as you would in session . I have similar dreams too.

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[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I'm not good with dreams but I think that the second part has to do with you and your t, and your vulnerabilities in session , how you hold back, and how you think she finds you disgusting or is mad at you, and you need to hide.

So you are hiding your most vulnerable parts in that stall just as you would in session . I have similar dreams too.

I did wonder if it had to do with vulnerability. In my dream, every stall, although covering the "most essential" parts, still felt too revealing and people were constantly coming in and out of the bathroom. Because my appointment was so vulnerable, I was wondering if they were connected.

[sweepy62]

I think so, i had a dream ( nitemare) i will get to the relevant part , which was i showed up to t office half dressed looking all disgusting and in shame, showing upper and lower body parts uggghhhhh my face all disgusting , before showing up to her office like this of course it was a combination of other stuff and csa ughhhhh,

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I think so, i had a dream ( nitemare) i will get to the relevant part , which was i showed up to t office half dressed looking all disgusting and in shame, showing upper and lower body parts uggghhhhh my face all disgusting , before showing up to her office like this of course it was a combination of other stuff and csa ughhhhh,

That would be terrible. Were you able to talk to your T about it?

[sweepy62]

I dont get to see her this week, its been so stressful at home, I dont know if I want to share this dream, but if i do, I will post how she interprets it.

[someone321]

It is indeed pretty weird dream, something about looking for a privacy, and stopping yourself from meeting your basic needs - that's at least how I understand spending the whole dream on finding the private place to pee...

TRIGGER
But I really cannot say anything about this dream as I convince myself to absolutely not believing in dreams, my worst nightmare which I dream quite often is in which I purposely initiate sex with my worst abuser , so I really do not want to look for meanings in dreams

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by someone321

It is indeed pretty weird dream, something about looking for a privacy, and stopping yourself from meeting your basic needs - that's at least how I understand spending the whole dream on finding the private place to pee...

TRIGGER
But I really cannot say anything about this dream as I convince myself to absolutely not believing in dreams, my worst nightmare which I dream quite often is in which I purposely initiate sex with my worst abuser , so I really do not want to look for meanings in dreams

That could just be regarding guilt, like you're afraid that you "asked for it" or came onto him in some way. It doesn't have to be reality, it could just be inner fears and conflicts.