[growlycat]

Has anyone ever asked their T
"So why did you become a therapist?"

I read somewhere that most T's have either been through emotional issues of their own OR took on care-taking roles in their families.

I like knowing the answer to this question because I admire T's who have struggled themselves but learned the skills to cope.

I have asked main T and in his case, it was a combo of both--he struggled himself AND he was a family caretaker.

I haven't asked CBT T yet but I want to. We were talking about feeling sick once and he gave a small window into his early life, mentioning getting car sickness as a kid. Then it made me wonder what kind of kid he was … was he a charming jock or was he bullied? I can see it go either way.

If your T responded to a question like this, what did they say? Why did they become a T?

[Mactastic]

He says he enjoys helping people and having really intense, meaningful relationships with his clients. He did his own therapy for 2 years but I don't know if he had stuff to work through or if he just had to put in the hours.

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[HazelGirl]

Yes, in fact I know why my T became a T. She said that she has always wanted to be a therapist, even from a young age. She grew up in a very emotionally abusive home, and went through therapy (for more than 9 years, although I don't know exactly how long) in order to heal. She is (obviously) now a T who helps other through a lot of the same struggles she had.

[GenCat]

I did, and my T told me she felt it was her calling from God.

[clinpsycstudent]

I asked mine at the beginning of my therapy - she applied a week before the applications closed and got admitted and was looking for something to do after her degree.... O_O

For myself - it helps for me to have experienced GAD and transference to help better understand my future clients - it helps me to be in their shoes and experience their feelings. - and hence walk with the client through the journey with love and understanding, instead of pushing them away with fear.

Great thread topic!

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by clinpsycstudent

I asked mine at the beginning of my therapy - she applied a week before the applications closed and got admitted and was looking for something to do after her degree.... O_O

For myself - it helps for me to have experienced GAD and transference to help better understand my future clients - it helps me to be in their shoes and experience their feelings. - and hence walk with the client through the journey with love and understanding, instead of pushing them away with fear.

Great thread topic!

I really respect T's who have "walked the talk". Best wishes on your road to the PHD

[Symboline]

Funnily I asked my T the other day. He said he was always interested in the mind and behaviour. He became a social worker first but didn't like the management and thought he would go into private practice and so became a clinical psychologist. I also asked him if he likes chocolate...which he does

[sweepy62]

My t says she has a passion for helping people.

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[tinyrabbit]

I haven't asked this exact question, but it has come up. Once I said something about my T just doing it for the money, and he said actually he gave up a better paid job to become a therapist "because this is who I am". He has told me that he feels privileged to be with people in their struggles.

He has also mentioned that he has wounds of his own and that it tends to be wounded people who become therapists.

I'm in the UK and my T had to have his own therapy - it's a requirement here. No idea if he still sees his therapist now.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

He has also mentioned that he has wounds of his own and that it tends to be wounded people who become therapists.

I'm in the UK and my T had to have his own therapy - it's a requirement here. No idea if he still sees his therapist now.

Yes, therapy is a required part od a T's training here as well. My main T has shared a little bit about his 9 yrs in analysis

[AllyIsHopeful]

My T was raised in a country where mental illness is taboo to speak of and people were institutionalized for it (even the LGBT community). She had a relative go through this and she never understood until she got older. In the end there was a Psychologist she really admired who advocated for these people and pushed to make changes, and she decided that's what she wanted to do with her life. Her mother did not speak to her for two years once she said she was going to study Psychology.

The story has a lot more to it but it's too long and I'm too paranoid. lol
I admire her so much though, and she is a big inspiration.

[brillskep]

I haven't asked my T that. It just seems to be a possibly very intimate question, even though he does tell me quite a bit about himself. Maybe if it comes up into conversation I'll ask. Or maybe he'll just tell me if it comes up without me asking specifically. He does that sometimes.

[LesFleursDuMal]

I have asked my therapist this exact question several weeks ago. I was kinda disappointed by his answer actually. He said 'You know I'm not gonna answer that, because it's personal and I'm not here to talk about me but to hear what YOU have to say'. He was more interested in the reason why I wanted to know, and he even said it was a really important question because it was as if I wanted to know why he would want to help me.
Once I told him that knowing that he was listening because he had to, because he had no choice, bothered me, and he said he didn't feel like he had to, he said that's what he wanted, what he had chosen and he said no one could force him to do that. It's enough for me.

[stopdog]

One I see has admitted it was because her life was so screwed up and the other I suspect is for the same reason. Plus it is not that hard of a job, it is indoors, you get to blame the client for all of your mistakes, and does not involve much math.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by stopdog

One I see has admitted it was because her life was so screwed up and the other I suspect is for the same reason. Plus it is not that hard of a job, it is indoors, you get to blame the client for all of your mistakes, and does not involve much math.

I don't think a lot of this is true.

First of all, you out of all people should know you can't judge someone when they haven't told you anything about themselves. You don't know that your T has had a hard life unless he/she says they have.

Secondly, it's not an easy job, does require math, and does not allow the T to blame the client for everything (although I agree a few do...but they are bad T's). If they have a private practice, they have a ton of math to do because they have to do all their own taxes and salary, etc... It is not an easy job because they have to keep track of up to 30 clients (maybe more) and all of their stories, on top of all of their preferences, and all of the unique quirks about each (and their schedule). They also need to put up with very difficult and stubborn clients, such as Stopdog (kidding ...a little...all I'm saying is that if I were a T, I would consider you a difficult client...but I would be a difficult client, too, so we're in shared company). And the only T's who blame their clients without taking any responsibility are the unethical ones.

So I believe this whole post is incredibly judgemental and inaccurate.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by LesFleursDuMal

I have asked my therapist this exact question several weeks ago. I was kinda disappointed by his answer actually. He said 'You know I'm not gonna answer that, because it's personal and I'm not here to talk about me but to hear what YOU have to say'. He was more interested in the reason why I wanted to know, and he even said it was a really important question because it was as if I wanted to know why he would want to help me.
Once I told him that knowing that he was listening because he had to, because he had no choice, bothered me, and he said he didn't feel like he had to, he said that's what he wanted, what he had chosen and he said no one could force him to do that. It's enough for me.

I am worried that my CBT T will say something similar

Maybe that's a big flag showing that T DID struggle at one point?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I don't think a lot of this is true.

First of all, you out of all people should know you can't judge someone when they haven't told you anything about themselves. You don't know that your T has had a hard life unless he/she says they have.

Secondly, it's not an easy job, does require math, and does not allow the T to blame the client for everything (although I agree a few do...but they are bad T's). If they have a private practice, they have a ton of math to do because they have to do all their own taxes and salary, etc... It is not an easy job because they have to keep track of up to 30 clients (maybe more) and all of their stories, on top of all of their preferences, and all of the unique quirks about each (and their schedule). They also need to put up with very difficult and stubborn clients, such as Stopdog (kidding ...a little...all I'm saying is that if I were a T, I would consider you a difficult client...but I would be a difficult client, too, so we're in shared company). And the only T's who blame their clients without taking any responsibility are the unethical ones.

So I believe this whole post is incredibly judgemental and inaccurate.

I simply disagree. It is extremely accurate in my personal experiences with therapists. And, the ones I see have agreed with me about the math and their upbringings - only one has stated it is why she became a therapist but both have admitted screwed up family life pre and post therapist life.(they, like me, hire accountants/book keepers to do billing and taxes). And I have nothing against being judgmental to therapists. It does not hurt them.
Or you also might consider parts of my post were not as serious as you seemed take.
I really truly think of it as an easy job. I would find it unpleasant, but easy.

[growlycat]

I found this:
Therapists Spill: Why I Do What I Do | Psych Central

and:

"Here's a theory that's not so crazy: Maybe people enter the mental health field because they have a history of psychological difficulties. Perhaps they're trying to understand or overcome their own problems, which would give us a pool of therapists who are a hit unusual to begin with. That alone could account for the image of the Crazy Shrink."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...-have-problems

I am wary if a T says: "I wanted to help people" or "I had a calling" because I think there must be more to it.

[growlycat]

A T may very well want to "help people" , I'm sure that could be true in part-- I am just nosey and want to hear "the rest of the story"

[atomicc]

Well, because I have struggled myself and I have known since a young age I wanted to help people. I've always had an interest and I excel in the subject matter. It just always felt like what I was made to be.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I am wary if a T says: "I wanted to help people" or "I had a calling" because I think there must be more to it.

I am wary if anyone says such a thing. I find those who think they are helping are usually incredibly attached to an outcome that is of their making, not mine, plus I don't see therapists as helping or caring or supportive or whatever other word you want to fill in. They may have info I can use, but that is about it. And "I had a calling" is so preposterous an idea, I have no cogent response.
I believe, if a therapist is honest, for most of them it is "I was so screwed up I thought doing this would help me fix me" with "I like others to adore me and if challenged all I have to do is label the client with some term" or even "I have a great tolerance for sitting and doing nothing"
I was surprised when the one just told me, unbidden, why she chose it as her second career. It is not like I asked why.
However, I think asking a therapist why is not an unusual thing to do if one wants to know, and one is willing to accept their incomplete or lying answer about helping etc.

[LesFleursDuMal]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I am worried that my CBT T will say something similar

Maybe that's a big flag showing that T DID struggle at one point?

I'm not sure what you mean by 'struggle', but when he said it was too personal, indeed I thought he had went through a hard time before deciding to help others.

[msxyz]

Originally Posted by stopdog

One I see has admitted it was because her life was so screwed up and the other I suspect is for the same reason. Plus it is not that hard of a job, it is indoors, you get to blame the client for all of your mistakes, and does not involve much math.

I imagine it to be emotionally taxing, but I agree partially on the math part. Master level practitioners don't have to do a lot of math, but getting a PhD involves at least a fair bit of statistics.

[msxyz]

My therapist told me he wanted to do something more meaningful than his previous career, he was an engineer before. I like it that he is not a "wounded healer".

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by LesFleursDuMal

I was kinda disappointed by his answer actually. He said 'You know I'm not gonna answer that, because it's personal and I'm not here to talk about me but to hear what YOU have to say'.

I HATE that answer. I'm never going to accept it again.

It is a condition of your employment that you answer my questions, T.