[liveinspired]

So, I have a little situation on my hands.

I've been seeing my T for a little over two months. I'm having a hard time fully letting her in. Not because I don't trust her, but because I do trust her. I trust her enough to let her in and that is quite frankly terrifying to me.

I find myself when I'm in therapy...wanting to just run to her and let her protect me from everything. Almost like she's the safest place I the world. I want her to care and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

At the same time I don't want her to care, try to protect me, or anything of that nature. Letting people in that much in the past has only been a disaster. So I do keep a distance between us so that doesn't happen.

So I guess I'm questioning whether these feelings are from an attachment or from transference. Maybe it's both. I don't really know.

My predicament is how to go about addressing this. My T has told me in the past how if there's something I need to tell her that I just need to tell her. So I'm thinking okay just tell her. The tricky part is her reaction to these feelings.

On one hand she could be completely understanding about the situation if I do tell her. On the other she could be freaked out about it and decide it is beyond her comfort level. Then the dreaded termination happens.

If I choose not to tell her however if could put a wrench in our therapeutic relationship and unfortunately also make healing more complicated.

I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place. It could be a win/lose situation or a lose/lose situation. I don't want to risk having to see someone else because I don't want to let anyone else in. At the same time if that's the only way to work through my trauma and other issues then it's be the best choice for me.

Sorry this is so long. I have an analyzing personality. One thing that actually seems to bother my T, so yeah. I apologize for the long explanation and analyzing.

[HazelGirl]

They're from both attachment and transference. And the way to address it is to tell your T. It could be a win-win situation, as well. And if she terminates you, she wasn't a good T to begin with and it's better to learn that now.

Yes, you'd be taking a risk, but it's a risk worth taking.

Both of my therapists told me that my attachment feelings for them were very positive. I think the feelings you describe are a good thing and agree with Hazelgirl that she is likely not a competent therapist if she views that in a negative light.

... Although some (not all) therapists who practice CBT might think those types of feelings 'get in the way'.

[liveinspired]

The place I go concentrates on psychoanalysis. I'm not sure what the difference between that and CBT are, but we will see how it goes on Wednesday

[shabur]

My suggestion would be to print you your entry and give it to her to read. If you are not open with your T, you won't be able to work towards your goals. If you switch Ts, you will face the same situation.

I wonder if you really do trust your T if you fear telling her and what her response will be. You may want to talk to her about this as well.

"My T has told me in the past how if there's something I need to tell her that I just need to tell her." It sounds like she's pretty understanding and can help you through this.

Good Luck.

Originally Posted by liveinspired

The place I go concentrates on psychoanalysis. I'm not sure what the difference between that and CBT are, but we will see how it goes on Wednesday

Oooo if she's psychoanalytic, then all of these feelings will likely become central to your therapy...and she most likely knows already and will welcome the disclosure.

Good luck Wed. Let us know how it goes. I bet it will be very positive in the end.