Someone to share with

Jun 21, 2014, 01:48 PM

Hi,

Does anyone recognize this feeling of wanting someone to share your 'stories' with? For me therapy sometimes almost feels more like having someone who's there and who's interested in what's going on, than really working through things. I guess we all have a need for sharing... In more or less the same way as we want to share our life with our partner maybe... But what if there's no partner, for example? And yes, friends are there too, but you hang out with them and not necessarily share all your deepest feelings with them... Right?
I'm worried that my life becomes too much about these 'stories' and how I'll address them in T, than about just living life... :-/

So... Did you ever experience this too?
And how do you find that sense of 'sharing a story' in your daily life if you don't want to depend that much on therapy for it?

kororain · Jun 21, 2014, 01:55 PM

Two ways for me:

I tell them to myself in my head, over and over. Can you tell I'm a big ruminator?

And also Blogging.

HazelGirl · Jun 21, 2014, 02:01 PM

Yes, but I also share some really deep things with friends and other mentors as well. My T says it's important to have a witness to the things we've gone through, and I think that's a major part of therapy.

smmath · Jun 21, 2014, 02:05 PM

Do you mean telling your story, or finding someone who has been through the same thing?

Jun 21, 2014, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Yes, but I also share some really deep things with friends and other mentors as well. My T says it's important to have a witness to the things we've gone through, and I think that's a major part of therapy.

I agree, it is important to have a witness. I also deal with the fact that if there was no witness around, those things seem harder for me to accept, to allow them to be true.
I guess we always need 'some' kind of witness to our lives. Where it's someone who's really present or a kind of blog or journal... I don't know.

Leah123 · Jun 21, 2014, 02:24 PM

Oh yes, having a witness and sharing my story has been a most healing aspect of therapy, some of the sacred work. I don't find it unusual or problematic. The therapy relationship is a special one, and especially useful to those of us that don't have parents or other close relations who help us hold our entire story, people who know us long and deeply.

JustShakey · Jun 21, 2014, 03:12 PM

I'd love to have some real life friends who knew about my therapy and I could let some of my stuff out with. Not anything serious, just being there for each other. This forum is great, but... you know...

Aloneandafraid · Jun 21, 2014, 04:58 PM

Totally Agree justShakey. I feel exactly the same. I also feel bad for not telling my H about my T. There is so much secrecy. But he would be totally furious as we can't afford it and he would be totally mad if he thought I had discussed him or us to anyone.

Parley · Jun 21, 2014, 11:18 PM

For the most part, I have absolutely no interest in sharing my story. When I start getting the urge to start talking, it generally means I'm feeling the hate. I do depend on therapy to talk about things. There is nothing my friends or husband can do for me and that is why I pay someone to help me.

Forward in the reverse~ I had a dream that I was walking forward in reverse a few weeks back. More like a nightmare and when my husband woke me, I told him I was headed somewhere but walking backwards.

tametc · Jun 21, 2014, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forwardinreverse

Hi,

Does anyone recognize this feeling of wanting someone to share your 'stories' with? For me therapy sometimes almost feels more like having someone who's there and who's interested in what's going on, than really working through things. I guess we all have a need for sharing... In more or less the same way as we want to share our life with our partner maybe... But what if there's no partner, for example? And yes, friends are there too, but you hang out with them and not necessarily share all your deepest feelings with them... Right?
I'm worried that my life becomes too much about these 'stories' and how I'll address them in T, than about just living life... :-/

So... Did you ever experience this too?
And how do you find that sense of 'sharing a story' in your daily life if you don't want to depend that much on therapy for it?

I tend to do a combination of sharing daily life stories, and also working through things. I feel more of a bond and trust with my T that way, and it helps to not have therapy be so intense all of the time.

Jun 21, 2014, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parley

Forward in the reverse~ I had a dream that I was walking forward in reverse a few weeks back. More like a nightmare and when my husband woke me, I told him I was headed somewhere but walking backwards.

Oh wow, that sounds powerful...

As if you're saying that you're revisiting something in your past to be able to move on. Could it be? Just wondering...