[GenCat]

So ideally my session with T went...lets say not so smoothly. The ENTIRE time T did NOT say one word about boundaries! And she had this hypnotizing way to make me forget what that session was really about. We did talk about my email, only parts tho. She wanted to know if I wanted another T, and I said no. She even asked, "What can I do to help you?"

The entire session I pulled out my hair. Ive never done that before but suspect its from the amount of anxiety I had that hour. T even said, "Why are you pulling out your hair?" I could not answer her. What is wrong with me!?

Then T asked me why I was so upset after she cancelled my appointment? She told me her reason, which was she was throwing up and reason for such sort notice was I was her first client. And it just so happened she felt more sick the longer she stayed at the office. So im thinking great! Im a loser for freaking out on her because she cancelled without telling me. I told her I cried after she cancelled and got angry and wanted to self harm. T began to get teary-eyed. Not sure from what I had said or from her allergies. She apologized. She told me next time she cancels she will tell me why.

At the end, T said, "I wish we had more time". And "If I wasn't seeing someone next, I would have you longer." And she scheduled my appointment a week from today. Which ive been doing two weeks in-between.

[HazelGirl]

It can be hard to talk. I think you did some good work, and I think it's a good start in talking about what you need to talk about.

Sorry it didn't go so well
It really sucks when a therapist has to cancel, especially when you're in a vulnerable place
Its great you were able to tell T a little of how you feel

[GenCat]

I feel like I did make some progress, but it was a very awkward session for me. And I just think it was bad that she didn't say one word about boundaries. Guess im the one with the problem not her.

[precaryous]

It's hard to talk face to face. ...but you have a great start! You wrote her about some of your questions and concerns. At least you know that *she* knows. This will allow you to open a dialogue about your questions about trust and impropriety.

Maybe re-read some of the posts on your previous thread and make notes of the concerning issues. Take your notes with you to next session and read some of them.

Therapy should be a safe place to discuss your concerns. It won't be easy. But you deserve better than you are getting.

Don't leave it up to her to bring up boundaries...you are the employer...you are paying her for a service...that, to me, seems pretty crappy. You can bring up boundaries. If she has been ethical...or even if she has made a mistake or two, she should be willing to discuss your feelings about how she is handling therapy.

Please do not think that you are the problem. I certainly don't believe you are.

Pre