[ThisWayOut]

"leave the treatment up to the experts"

Ok, so I have heard this on more than one occasion from a therapist, doctor, or other "professional" I have just met, or (most recently) from my wife's new T who has never met me, nor does she know my story...

It's a phrase that really bothers me, because it invalidates any insight or experience I may have with any previous treatment. It invalidates my wife's experiences with my past treatment, and it pretty much makes me feel like **** about myself. It's based on snap judgements over incomplete information... The rational part of me knows that it's based on prejudice and little knowledge of the individual. But then there's that little kid in me who is terrified that I am as broken and hopeless as many make me out to be.

While I understand that I am seeking help from some of these "professionals", I've also have had a great deal of time and experience with the treatments they are suggesting, and they have not worked for me. Why does a client's self-assessment and prior experience count for nothing with some of these people? I'm educated in my treatment options. I have probably been in therapy longer than they have been practicing, and have tried SO MANY approaches, I have a decent idea of what works and what does not... I have a paper trail from previous providers 10 miles long of what works and what doesn't. Why does that mean nothing to these people?!

Would a statement like that bother anyone else? Am I blowing it way out of proportion? When I encounter it, I am made to feel like I should bow to their superior knowledge and skill-set without question or opinion. It feels totally invalidating to me. And there's never a discussion around why I feel that a particular method of treatment won't work. It's left at "I'm the expert and you need to do what I say"... UGH!

So far, I have switched from everyone that has said something like that to me. Therapy is supposed to be a team effort. If they can't even listen to or respect what I have to say on treatment options, what's to say they will do that with other things I tell them??

I have found a good number of professionals that are not like that, but the ones that are make me hesitate to reach out when I need to. They have me second-guessing myself and feeling like a hopeless wreck. I really don't need any help in that department lately, thanks.

Sorry, guess I just needed to vent on that...

[glok]

Hello, ThisWayOut. I agree with you. Getting better is a difficult process. Your input is essential to achieving a good result. Do not back down. Be your own best advocate.

I wish you well.

[growlycat]

It should be a team effort. I've had T's tell me to "trust the process" but never "leave the treatment up to the experts". Definitely trust your own experience as well!

[guilloche]

It would absolutely bother me. It sounds paternalistic, and as you said, totally invalidates your experiences. Also, I've had a few experiences with doctors getting things wrong... I know that they have more training than me and that they want to get it right, but sometimes they *don't*.

Personally, someone that said that to me (whether it was a medical doctor or a therapist) would be replaced, rather quickly, with someone a bit more open and willing to discuss things.

Sorry you're dealing with it - but absolutely the problem is NOT YOU!!!

[stopdog]

It would totally piss me off and I would never go back to anyone who said it.

[lostwonder]

No. Just no. I was misdiagnosed at one point, and no one would listen to me due to it. If you don't advocate for yourself who will?

[Parley]

I don't think i'd handle the opinion very well. If I'm lucky, I'd walk out without embarrassing myself with a few choice words so he/she can accuse me of mean vulgarity as well as resistance.

[freefallin]

Anyone who got mad at me for providing my input on their treatment of any kind, whether it be mental health treatment or "regular" healthcare, wouldn't have me as a patient very long.

If you go to four different providers, you will likely receive four different treatment approaches and maybe even diagnoses. That alone says that any one provider's treatment isn't objectively the right thing for the patient.

Ugh. Hate that kind of condescension. We've had to deal with it with my husband's health problems in the past; didn't stay with those doctors very long. Fortunately we don't have any current health care providers who pull that anymore. Heck, even when my sister was going through the whole stem cell transplant thing which really was extremely complicated and ultimately beyond comprehension no matter how carefully they tried to explain things, the fact was, they really tried to explain things and give options when possible (or if not, at least explain why things had to be done the way they were done).

[ThisWayOut]

I'm glad I am not the only one who feels this way. I was thinking I was over-reacting... It just pisses me off to have virtual strangers think they know better than those who actaully know me, and myself. I have definitey walked away from any provider I heard that from...

[nummy]

I've been told to trust my doctors, but it would p*** me off to be excluded from the treatment process, which is basically what that's telling you. Grrr!! You aren't a petri dish. Your thoughts count.

[ThisWayOut]

there's definitely a difference between askign to be trusted, and being told to "butt out" (essentially)... Though the trust takes time with me also. I'm more inclined to listen to them if I trust them.

[NowhereUSA]

that's why i hate the hospital. i wanted to scream at the nurses 'i'm f***ing depressed not stupid.' and twice they were getting meds wrong and i had to dig my heels in to get someone to listen to me. ugh. UGH. i wouldn't work with a provider who was that condescending.

[sweepy62]

Yeah that would really bother me. No t has ever said that to me but if they did, I would tell them how I felt.

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