[BeGentle]

Often times he has told me to "be kind to yourself; do fun things". What the hell does that mean?

I was never allowed to have fun or relax. Always on guard. So, I have been giving this great thought and giving it a go. Little by little I am learning. It's kind of fun. I am giving myself permission to screw up. I am making a true effort to have fun and enjoy life while I am alive. Starting to plan things and expand my life. Experiencing pleasure; which happens to be a very important part of life...so I am told. It's true. Try it. It feels so good to let the world in....the good parts.

I highly recommend giving this some thought and acting on it or at least trying. We really are worth it and are deserving!

I had to work on this too. It took concerted effort at first. I started with simple things like treating myself to breakfast or time browsing the bookstore. Eventually my efforts grew much more deliberate and involved such as going back to church choir and auditioning for and joining the city's symphony chorus. Life is so much more fulfilling now that I've deliberately chosen to nurture myself. I had lost that through mommyhood and work and depression, etc. over the years. It's nice to have myself back.

[BeGentle]

1914...That is so sweet to hear. I am happy for you and thanks for sharing. It is good to hear good stuff and see growth. And, it really is effort. I suppose we are all works in progress. The right direction is crucial and that's what I am choosing.

[sweepy62]

I still have a problem with it, I do try some of those things, but the guilt overwhelms me sometimes.

[growlycat]

I'm working on this too. Otherwise, life becomes work, sleep, work, sleep.

One of the first things I did way back near the beginning of therapy, was took myself to a flower store, walked around slowly and deliberately taking my time just enjoying the colors and scents of the flowers and bought myself a small bouquet for my desk. I still remember how that felt to do something I enjoyed just for ME and not allow any guilt over it. Amazing.

[stopdog]

My partner has a tough time with this sort of thing and it can cause her physical illness when she has had some fun - it is like internally she freaks out and bam crashes. She is getting better, but it can be difficult for her.
Not my issue so much so it has been a bit a hard for me to get a handle on when she has difficulties with it.

[iheartjacques]

My good T several years ago taught me to do one good thing for me each day. Took a long time for me to start doing it. Now, not really most days, but when i remember to, or when I'm heading for a meltdown, then I do. That can be - have a warm bath, read in bed, have a hot chocolate on my own, watch a chick flick on my own, buy something I really like, whatever. Everyone needs to work out what they like doing. Could be painting, drawing, crafts, hanging out with friends, walking, cuddling a pet, whatever.