Issues with Therapy

So.. after a 5 year hiatus, I went back to the same therapist. We've had 2 sessions. And, although I can see benefits.... here is my perception of how our last session.

me: I'm still having issues with people socially in real life, and that's why I'm here. But, like I said last week, things are going fairly well. My business is going well, I love my son, my wife and I are getting along well, we're looking to buy her a newer vehicle soon. I've found 2 good groups online that help me socialize.

therapist: don't forget that you BPD's have problems with paranoia.

me:thinking to myself... WTF ? Where did that come from? f**k you!

Bear in mind too that even in fields that are more "objective" the available evidence is only prediction, an educated guess really, about how any individual will respond to a given treatment. So a great medication might help 60% of the people who use it. Even if it's thoroughly, thoroughly researched and we can be very confident in what we know about it, how it will affect you, personally, can't be known until it's tried.

I would have said it out loud. First to be labeled like that and then to have what I was saying discounted completely would have sent me over the edge.

'you BPDs'? Like wtf dude?

i deal with depression and i don't think i'd be cool with someone just being like, 'you depressives...'

To be fair, he didn't actually say "you BPD's"... The above is just my perception of our therapy session. But, he did remind me that I have all the BPD traits, and that paranoid thinking is one of the traits...

He also reminded me of an instance years ago, that he insisted was an instance of my paranoid thinking... I vaguely remember his comments at the time, but not the incident itself. I do admit to having had all the traits of BPD at one time or another... but, I also feel like I have a handle on being aware of when I'm under stress and likely to be having paranoid ideation, so I can take steps to be sure that I am thinking clearly.

Anyway, his comments on the matter make me hesitant to talk about some experiences I've had (I was in the Navy Reserves, and have had some pretty nasty people set me up in some pretty nasty ways), for fear that I will first have to convince him that I wasn't making it all up.

And that is an almost impossible task! I can just hear myself... Me: I know this may be hard to believe... but this is what happened. Him: are you sure you weren't having paranoid delusions at the time?

The most frustrating and complicated part, is that part of the setup (with the people in the reserves) was that they made out that I was having problems discerning the difference between fantasy and reality. Have you ever had anyone tell you a lie, then when you didn't immediately accuse them of lying, tell other people that you believed said lie, and then find yourself harassed by those people that the original person had told? That is one f**ked up way of living.

I also want to defend myself by saying that, for the most part, I did very well in my 8 years in the reserves, and they tried to get me to stay. They even reminded me that I could even take a break, and then come back. I didn't re-enlist because I was sick and tired of the mentality of those in the reserves. It's so competitive and in-your-face all the time. It just gets really old, really quick.

I'm looking for a little more peace in my life, thank you very much.

he seems invalidating. it would seem that it would be more effective to help you work through the facts. like if you said, 'this is what happened...' he might try to ask for more information and get a clearer picture, maybe try to deal with assumptions and interpretations and see if there are other interpretations for the event. dismissing you as paranoid just seems... unhelpful.

I found that providers not infrequently take normal human traits--worries, fears--and label and pathologize them as a way to market their services. Everyone has worries and fears. I wouldn't find it helpful for a doctor slapping condemning labels on everything essentially human.

well, there is a difference between cynicism and skepticism. A skeptic is a valuable thing to be - open to being convinced, but doubtful.

Cynical is, well, not so much. Implies an motive that may or may not be there, as in manipulative story telling.

At the heart of science is skepticism not cynicism. A scientist and rational being can be (if not must be) infinitely open minded just not naive.

I'm definitely a skeptic. I just hope that my therapist is also a skeptic.