Should I change my T?

I generally like my T. But she always ends sessions 10-15 mins early. Yesterday I went to see her and I was really struggling with sui thoughts. I was struggling with talking as well. So anyways maybe it's my fault cause I didn't talk much as always but my T started talking about someone else who is struggling as well (sorry don't want to give a lot of details). And then as always, ended the session early.

She has been doing this a lot lately and I don't know if it's a good reason to end therapy with this T. But it's been bothering me for ages. I would be ok if I wasn't struggling as much but I really am. I keep making sui plans and I feel like I'm falling apart. What do you guys think I should do? Should I end therapy with this T?


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A lot of T's have what they call a "50-minute hour" which means you have an appointment that lasts for 50 minutes, and the T uses the last 10 to do paperwork. Is that possible what is going on here?

I wish we had 50 mins but she usually ends way too early. We probably have 30-35 min sessions.

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Can't you talk to her about it? I think that's the first thing you should do. And if you feel you can't, maybe you can explore the reasons behind why you feel you cannot talk to her about something so important as this.

You can tell her that there is something that has been bothering you for a long time but can't find the nerve to bring it up. And see where the conversation goes from there.

I would say something next session about my sense the sessions are ending 10-15 minutes early and hash out the session times/payment amounts, etc. to make sure my understanding of what I am paying for is correct. Sessions are different lengths therapist to therapist, client to client, insurance company to insurance company, agency to agency so it can be hard to know without asking your therapist specifically about you and her situation what exactly is going on. If you want to look around for a "better" deal, if that is important to you then I would discuss that with T too and then do whatever you decide.

Insurance companies also switched a little while back to only wanting sessions to be 45 minutes. Why not discuss with her how long the appointments are supposed to be? She may have switched to the 45 minute appointments and forgot to tell you.

Thank you! The thing is I don't know how to talk to her about it. I'm really shy when it comes to things like this.

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Btw I pay for the sessions myself and last time I saw that the client before me had a 50 min session. Idk maybe I'm making a big deal out of this.

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Just think of it as a "clerical" issue rather than personal. Start with something like, "I am unsure of how long our sessions are, I thought they started at X o'clock and ended at Y?"

She should take it from there and "confirm" that or say it has changed and why or otherwise give a useful response that you can take from there. If she says they are shorter, do some fact checking of your own and say, "So I am getting 45 minutes for $95? or "So you are billing my insurance company for 45 minutes at $120, they are paying $75 and I am paying you my $30 co-pay for a total of $105?" Whatever it is, just state it like you are stating the facts, trying to make sure you are clear what they are instead of in any way judging her/the amount or period of time. You know, don't say anything like, "Geez, Lady! Wish I made $105 for an easy 45 minutes work!"

The client before you (how do you know when they started? You were there for your session an hour ahead?) doesn't count as they may have some insurance or other situation going on. Maybe they pay $50 more out of pocket than you for their "extra" 10-15 minutes, etc. Just state what you would like rather than compare yourself to others and what you think they have. It is not a level playing field. I paid $200 out-of-pocket for a 100 minute session almost 10 years ago. Don't assume your therapist is shortchanging you until you hear what she has to say and know for a fact she is :-) If she says you have 50 minutes sessions from 3:00 to 3:50 and she's been bailing at 3:35, say, "We start on time every week but the clock in here/my watch/the little man in the funny hat outside the window seems to say (keep erring on the side of thinking you could be wrong/would like to be wrong and not find out she is cheating you) we have been ending at 3:35 most weeks?" Find the exact problem as if you were proof reading a document for typos. If you are using your watch and she says her watch says. . . compare watches/jointly time "this" session, etc. If everything comes out the way it is "supposed" to the next couple weeks, you know she has been caught out and is being dishonest or too clueless about it and you probably should find another therapist.

You aren't...that's a very short session and you need to know what you are paying for. My experience has been that my one T bills for sessions at either 50 mins. or 1 hour; one of my Ts and I talked about it a few years ago and that was what he mentioned. Of course there could be a 35 minute option, but if there is than you deserve clarification.

ETA: Oh...so you are paying out of pocket?

I don't think your making a big deal out of this, I would be upset! That is a very short session in my opinion, and I would ask her about it. Especially since you are paying out of pocket for it. You could phrase it nicely, and just ask for some clarity about how long the session is because it seems to vary. Its your right to know what your paying for, and I would start having a major resentment if I was paying for a shorter session than others are getting.