The T relationship

I can definitely see how my relationship with T helps me outside of therapy.
- I am more aware of "thinking errors" in myself and others and thus how I react to them.
- Because he validates some of my feelings and reactions, I'm learning again how to trust my instincts and when I feel unsafe, there is probably a good reason for it and to back up.
- He continually has to teach me to give trust in stages or over a period of time...to start with some...then add a bit more...so I don't get hurt so often.
- He teaches me to check in with people when what I "hear" either triggers me or gets me upset but I don't understand why. there are so many ways that simple communications can be misinterpreted and I tend to do that...a lot.
- He is teaching me how to self-soothe when I get upset....working on that.
- He teaches me what words and attitudes tend to trigger my "shame" side...and how to step back and listen again to how it might not be shaming or is just the way the other person or writer uses words that are triggering to Me..but not to others.
- He is showing me how some men can be safe, trustworthy, consistent, caring and don't "hurt" on purpose.
- He shows me what is possible and offers hope when I don't have any left at all.

Just a few ideas....it is how I internalize them or use them that makes them work or not work. I am not very good at practicing because I am not around people much IRL...so this is hard.

He is a model and also a mentor to help me try different things to get different responses out there than what I have been getting.
Obviously my own ways were not working and were not healthy for me.

Wysteria

My t has talked about our t relationship on occasion. i was still on a self-imposed "break" from therapy in December when my Dad passed away, and she was who I wanted to talk to so I called her. And told her what happened and "I don't know what I want, I just want." and she said among other things that we have a very deep connection and that was so comforting for me. I was back in therapy in January.

My T and I are in discussions right now...
It is very anxiety provoking for me...had to do long assignment of the ways it has developed and changed over last 5 years...
I see him tomorrow for the discussion...
My heart is in my toes...so want to make it stronger and correct the things I have messed up in my head.

This has been a good thread to follow...

Artemis, you are very blessed to have that great connection...

Gentle hugs,
Wysteria Blue