[InRealLife45]

We have an agreement that I get to send three (free) emails a week. Last week was a high crisis week. Not counting any email that was regarding scheduling (which are freebies) I sent four e-mails. Five if you count Monday (and she did, when she counted them up in her head and charged me $20 on Monday night for the two extra e-mails.)

It's never been discussed but I would assume a typical week is Monday 12am-Sunday 11:59pm

I assumed paying for them with Monday's email factored into the payment "reset" my e-mail clock and meant I had three emails to use beginning Monday night AFTER session (9pm).

However, she emailed and told me I had already used my three emails bc of the one sent on Monday.

I kind of think that's unfair to charge me for it AND include it as part of my weekly three.

Am I being unreasonable to expect that paid emails should be excluded from the count?

edit:

I'm also assuming the fee breakdown was $10 per e-mail (they were very short). She didn't specify, just counted how many there were and said it was gonna be $20 for the overages).

And yes, IF SHE HADN'T CHARGED ME FOR IT, the Monday email would have been email #1 of last week. But since I get three free ones included in my session fee, why then would she both charge for it AND deduct it from my weekly amount?

That seems like double jeopardy (e-mail style).

I don't want to bring it up and have it turn into a huge disagreement if I'm the one being unreasonable.

[Leah123]

I'm confused: what days does the week run? Is it from Sunday to Saturday or something different?

If you sent four emails and paid $20 for the 4th one...

wouldn't the 5th one really be email number one for the current week?

[stopdog]

Did she charge you without you agreeing to pay for email? I am sort of confused.
But I don't find therapists to be fair so the idea of one not being is not surprising.

[HazelGirl]

I am confused, too. This is something you need to talk to her about, not us.

[NowhereUSA]

it sounds like there's a lack of communication. i'd ask her when she thinks the week starts and point out that you paid for Monday's email.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I'm confused: what days does the week run? Is it from Sunday to Saturday or something different?

If you sent four emails and paid $20 for the 4th one...

wouldn't the 5th one really be email number one for the current week?

It's never been discussed but I would assume a typical week is Monday 12am-Sunday 11:59pm

I'm also assuming the fee breakdown was $10 per e-mail (they were very short). She didn't specify, just said it was gonna be $20 for the overages).

And yes, IF SHE HADN'T CHARGED ME FOR IT, the Monday email would have been email #1 of last week. But since I get three free ones, why then would she both charge for it AND deduct it from my weekly amount?

That seems like double jeopardy (e-mail style).

[Leah123]

I see you updated your post after I posted.
If you paid for the Monday email AND the Monday email was deducted from your three, no that does not make sense. Either it's charged as an overage from Week 1, or it counts toward your 3 in Week 2, I don't see how it could be both, but we're clearly missing some information, I think it'll be a matter of getting it clarified with her.

P.S. We were posting at the same time, so I didn't see your latest til I posted, but yes, I think if she's charging, she needs to detail the charges, note what each $10 was for and clarify when the week starts.

She may have been confused and miscounted - it seems more likely to be a misunderstanding than malicious. Bring it up with her next time, maybe printing out the emails with a date on each, to make it clear.

[anilam]

I think it's miscommunication, plain and simple. Just told her that you've paid for the Monday's one- Could she have meant some other one? Or 20USD per one mail?
She surely didn't mean to charge you for the mail and include ii in the freebies as well.

[Petra5ed]

Not sure I have all the facts.... you get 3 a week and pay $20 for every email over 3. You sent 5 last week but only paid for 1? Why wouldn't the 5th count? It sounds like she's doing you a favor not charging you $20 more.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

She may have been confused and miscounted - it seems more likely to be a misunderstanding than malicious. Bring it up with her next time, maybe printing out the emails with a date on each, to make it clear.

I have printed out a calendar with each email written on under the day it was sent, and the ones that were about scheduling are in a different color as they don't count (she forgot to tell me she was taking a day off and I had to choose a different day to come in.)

Ones that I read aloud to her in session also don't count, but I e-mail them to her afterwards to print out bc she likes to put them in my file.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

Not sure I have all the facts.... you get 3 a week and pay $20 for every email over 3. You sent 5 last week but only paid for 1? Why wouldn't the 5th count? It sounds like she's doing you a favor not charging you $20 more.

I get three included in my $240 a week session fees.
I sent ONE extra last week, but she charged me for TWO-(monday before session being the 2nd one). So there were five in all, three were free, two were paid for at, I'm assuming, $10 per e-mail.

But after charging for Monday, she also deducted it from my weekly three. Which kind of means she charged twice.

[Petra5ed]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

I get three included in my $240 a week session fees.
I sent ONE extra last week, but she charged me for TWO-(monday before session being the 2nd one). So there were five in all, three were free, two were paid for at, I'm assuming, $10 per e-mail.

But after charging for Monday, she also deducted it from my weekly three. Which kind of means she charged twice.

She probably miscounted then. I would just bring it up. I doubt she would make a deal with you and then try to screw you.

That's expensive! Is the $240 for one session only, or is that 2 x a week?

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

She probably miscounted then. I would just bring it up. I doubt she would make a deal with you and then try to screw you.

That's expensive! Is the $240 for one session only, or is that 2 x a week?

more like she makes deals with me and doesnt bother remembering them bc theyre just not that important to her.

It's $120 per session twice a week.

I see a week as Sunday-Saturday, so what seems to be going on is that you are seeing the week in two different time frames maybe.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I see a week as Sunday-Saturday, so what seems to be going on is that you are seeing the week in two different time frames maybe.

maybe. I guess we have something to discuss tonight. thanks :-)

[PeeJay]

This conversation makes my head hurt, so I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you.

How can this relationship be therapeutic if you two are nickel and diming over emails?

Then again, I offered to pay my T to read a long email that I sent and SHE was offended because I offered to pay. (I don't send that many. Maybe one long email every two months or so.)

She said something like, "Oh yeah, let's raise your fee by $5 because it took me five minutes to read your email."

She was being sarcastic but I didn't get it. All I could think was, "But you charge more than $1 per minute, so if you took 5 minutes to read an email, shouldn't the charge be $12 to $15?"

And then she said, "No I'm making a joke to illustrate a point."

And I still didn't get her point. It saved me time in session to say all that stuff over email and so I wanted to pay so I didn't feel like I was ripping her off. Are emails included with my sessions or not?

Everything about therapists and email confounds me. I blame the therapists. Truly.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by PeeJay

This conversation makes my head hurt, so I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you.

How can this relationship be therapeutic if you two are nickel and diming over emails?

Then again, I offered to pay my T to read a long email that I sent and SHE was offended because I offered to pay. (I don't send that many. Maybe one long email every two months or so.)

She said something like, "Oh yeah, let's raise your fee by $5 because it took me five minutes to read your email."

She was being sarcastic but I didn't get it. All I could think was, "But you charge more than $1 per minute, so if you took 5 minutes to read an email, shouldn't the charge be $12 to $15?"

And then she said, "No I'm making a joke to illustrate a point."

And I still didn't get her point. It saved me time in session to say all that stuff over email and so I wanted to pay so I didn't feel like I was ripping her off. Are emails included with my sessions or not?

Everything about therapists and email confounds me. I blame the therapists. Truly.

i have written out an "email agreement" with spaces to fill in the terms so we both know and agree to the same **** to avoid misunderstandings. she can add it to my file.

[PeeJay]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

i have written out an "email agreement" with spaces to fill in the terms so we both know and agree to the same **** to avoid misunderstandings. she can add it to my file.

LOL! Good for you!

Let us know what she says!

[ScarletPimpernel]

I still don't get the concept of charging for emails...

Maybe T's who charge for emails should charge per word ...$.01 per word...like a penny for your thoughts.

I would owe my T so much money if she charged for extra things like emails. She talks to my Pdoc twice a month, talks to insurance people about once a week, talked with state officials, communicating with my about updates with insurance. This week alone: I talked to her on the phone for a total of 80mins, emailed her 2 long emails, emailed 2 short emails, texted her twice, left her 2 voice mails, she has talked to my Pdoc, and now she's going to call future DBT therapist...

I'm grateful to my T and know I'm lucky, but figuring out costs for all of this would completely stress me out. I don't know how you (the ones who pay for email) do it.

[clairelisbeth]

It does seem unfair, but that aside and from everything that you've written about her-it almost seems as thought your T is being nitpicky for the sake of it. I understand that some T's charge for emails, and thats fine.....but to drive you crazy over a few dollars doesn't seem helpful or therapeutic at all......