Need new T?

My T told me twice in the last session that she didn't have any answers and that she couldn't help me? The first time was when I brought up the issue of bulimia. She's not an expert in eating disorders. Okay, I'll give her that one. Kudos to her for admitting her professional limitations. However the next time she said that was when I said I had trouble getting motivated to do things like get up in the morning, do things that need to be done and do things that I want to do. She asked if I prayed. I said, "No, I'm atheist." She relied that she had no answers for me and that she couldn't help me.

Seriously??? Since when was being religious or spiritual a prerequisite to helping someone emotionally? That burns me up! I was too depressed at the time to respond except to get more depressed.

PS: She ended the session by asking if I wanted to come back in one month or two months. WTF??? Again, I was too depressed at the time to respond.

She definitely doesn't sound like the therapist you need! Time to find a new one!

Yep. Definitely time for a different therapist. My therapist helped me out of a truly horrible decade long depression and not once did he ask me if I prayed.

Never had a T push their religion on me. What you describe would make me uncomfortable enough to look for a T elsewhere.

Doesn't basic competency of a therapist include being able to help those outside of her faith? There are lots of treatment modalities that have nothing to do with faith. She couldn't employ any of those? Gah!

if shes trying to tell you its not a good fit, you should run out of there. seems like youre feeling the disconnect as well. call it your last session (unless you feel the need to pay her to say goodbye) and find a T who you connect with, who has experience with your issues and cares enough to try. This T isnt cutting it, doesnt sound like.

How long have you been seeing this therapist?

Yes, she "should be" able to work outside of her faith, but maybe she is telling you she cant. From what you've described she doesn't sound like a good fit for you. I've never heard a therapist say "I cant help you" before. It doesn't sound very therapeutic.

Oh dear, red flags all over the place here! Any therapist who brings their faith into a session and asks if you pray is being totally unreasonable and unethical. I think she needs some therapy herself and to see a supervisor, she sounds burnt out and in need of a holiday.
Asking a client if they prayed and then saying they couldn't help is abuse.

Yep, what they all said.
Hope you find a lovely new therapist who can help you heal xxxx

Many therapists are faith-based. I'd definitely just find one who isn't if you aren't religious, or don't want religion to enter into your therapy. Individual therapists have all kinds of biases and limitations, from wanting clients in AA meetings to wanting clients to take medication to wanting clients to forgive and forget or break all ties. Others will only work with certain types of clients and exclude those with certain issues, because of preference or lack of experience.

They're allowed to practice as they please, but fortunately, there are many many who don't have those constraints and that should be a much better fit.
I'm sorry yours was such a letdown, it should feel like a huge relief when you find someone appropriate for you, that's the silver lining.

Definitely sounds like you are in the works for a new therapist! I'm also non-religious and grateful my therapist doesn't intervene his religious beliefs on me.

Maybe search around by doing a small interview with "said" prospective therapist, seeing if they meet your criteria before settling on another.

Just a thought 😊

Maybe she was just trying to show that religion was the only thing she had to help you. She already admitted she didn't have the professional knowledge. She went with what she believes in because of her personal courtesy. I guess it can get tricky when we don't all believe in the same things but it doesn't mean she wouldn't have treated you if she could handle the eating disorder.

The first few sessions are for consultation and hopefully that's when she chose to be honest.

It really floors me that she said she "didn't know how to help". Every therapist goes through training correct? Is she choosing to only use one tool in the toolbox? It isn't even a standard therapeutic tool.

It seems like she is ignoring all of her training. I hope you find a T with a full array of skills.

Was this really a licensed therapist, or one of those so-called "Christian counselors"? In our State, if the person holds him or herself out as a Christian counselor, no licensing or training is necessary.

She's a licensed therapist. She works in the same office as my p-doc. My p-doc has never said anything about praying or anything religious.

It was pretty bad. I never thought that I would have to ask a therapist if religious intervention is her only method of therapy. They're trained in a wide range of things.

That is true. I just hadn't encountered that until now. I did have one therapist earlier this year who also said the same thing: that she didn't have any answers for me and that she couldn't help me. She kept yawning throughout the session. I was trying hard and doing all the things she recommended but still had trouble with motivation and finding a will to live. No one has been able to help me with that. Thus far no therapist has even tried to help with that either.

When the going gets tough, I want to give up. Why does the therapist have to give up, too? Aren't they supposed to remind me what I have to live for and to encourage me to move forward in spite of the pain? I'm not asking the therapist to do the work for me but just help me do it like you help your kid do homework when they really get stuck. Yeesh!