I recognise it from her knowledge of relationships. She is the most knowledgable t I have seen and her understanding makes me feel safe. Also her honesty and transparency, I know that I could trust her to keep my secrets and not to compromise our ratio ship.
I have had a number of dreams about this t where I am upset and she always drops everything to comfort me. I feel held with her.
Also if you don't feel safe why don't you and why stay with a t you don't feel safe with?
I stayed with my ex ts because I was overly attached to them and it wasn't until they showed they were unsafe and I couldn't work with them anymore that I left.

[kororain]

What do you mean by containment? Like... being held? Or...? Secrets kept and not shared with others?

[stopdog]

I don't understand what the question is.
I don't think any of them particularly safe. I keep seeing the two I found less unsafe than others I interviewed.

[ThisWayOut]

that's a really good question. I wish I knew how to qualify it for myself, as it would make this transition to a new T easier I think...

Originally Posted by kororain

What do you mean by containment? Like... being held? Or...? Secrets kept and not shared with others?

It means containing you and your issues you bring to therapy. And being held in a way that you trust your t to keep your secrets do yeah what you said

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

that's a really good question. I wish I knew how to qualify it for myself, as it would make this transition to a new T easier I think...

I think that trust is such a huge part of the relationship and it means something different to every client. I hope that you and your new build up a trust together

I don't believe in either. I think no matter how safe or contained you think you are if could be blown away in an instant. I thought I had safety and containment and it was destroyed in a second. Nowhere is safe. No one is safe.

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I don't believe in either. I think no matter how safe or contained you think you are if could be blown away in an instant. I thought I had safety and containment and it was destroyed in a second. Nowhere is safe. No one is safe.

It's a delicate thing in therapy and the line between destroying and creating a trusting relationship is very fine. I am sorry you experienced mistrust and betrayal but please don't let it colour your future relationships, there are good trusting people out there

[Asiablue]

For me safety and containment takes a bit of time. But I think for me with this T, I had a strong sense from the beginning that she was good at her job, she was knowledgeable and experienced and kind. I also questioned her extensively at the interview stage about her perspective on certain situations, how she would handle A,B,C scenarios. So I knew her ethos, what I could expect from her.
As the months went on, I tested her a fair bit and she passed pretty much every time. She contained things be being trustworthy, predictable, flexible but with boundaries. She is interested in all my feeling and emotions and behaviours and welcomes them all, even the difficult ones.

I once felt sort of safe and sometimes contained with T. Now, I don't know. Could anyone contain this?

[growlycat]

T follows through with what he says he is going to do.
He creates a safe space by not being judgmental.
T's kindness creates safety too--I know I won't be mocked or belittled
T's body language communicates interest and concern.

[harvest moon]

For me consistency is a huge factor, as well as not being judged or patronized. I need for my feelings to be accepted as they are, and not downsized..

[Parley]

My opposing self feels understood~ if not equally respected.

Thanks for the replies! Consistency is a huge factor for me as I am very sensitive to others moods, so I sense t is stressed or busy I close down because I feel like she. Doesn't have the time to see me today.
Body language is another one growlything, so important!
In gestalt therapy, the t i see is gestalt, she will sometimes imitate me and my body language to make me more aware of my expression, jst sometimes feels like she is mocking me, now, I know she isn't but I can't help get defensive

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Body language is another one growlything, so important!

I'm growlycat, the middle aged visual artist. Growlithing is the young musician. Easy to confuse, I know

Originally Posted by growlycat

I'm growlycat, the middle aged visual artist. Growlithing is the young musician. Easy to confuse, I know

lol damn predictive text, I know the difference but phone typed growlything, apologies

[Silent Void]

I can talk to my shrinks, but I don't trust them with my secrets. I don't tell them half of what goes on with me. I'm not interested in being locked up for thought crime.

I tell them enough for them to properly medicate me.

I had to learn it.
Over time I begun to see I wasn't getting hurt and that I was beginning to recognise my feelings, and recognise that containment was a non verbal communication that can only be experienced.