Violated my T's boundaries.... what now?

I think that is exactly why the OP should not tell her T. Doing so will make a simple slip up into fodder for therapy. The OP went against her Ts wishes, but in a small harmless way. Informing her T that she did so makes it a more significant issue than it is on it's own. Sometimes you just need to get something off your chest and feel compelled to make confessions when the confession doesn't always accomplish what you wanted, or it upsets the other person. I can see many Ts asking "why did you want to tell me?" or "what did you think telling me would accomplish"

and I do not think it's appropriate to ignore an obligation just because I do not agree with it.

In my mind, this issue (which comes up a lot) is less about the intrinsic rightness of either side, but what both parties agreed to.

It's about "I respect your feelings about this and will act accordingly".

That's pretty much at the heart of any relationship if it is at all sustainable. Everybody has their thing, and its about respecting that thing.

i think that in this situation, i see OP in a difficult situation. she is in a place of vulnerability with her t and her t says "i don't want you to do this or i can't continue..." - she basically used OP's emotions to get her to agree to something that should never have been turned into an agreement.

yes, one could say op could have disagreed and lost her t, but for those of us that feel very attached to our t and deal with fears of rejection, would we not agree to certain things just to keep our t?

my argument is that it's not about merely disagreeing. what the t was asking was unreasonable and illogical and i don't see how the op had any other option except to agree under threat of losing her t.

Well, the situation you describe is exactly what a boundary is and they are healthy things. They set the terms under which the relationship is to continue. I see what you are saying though, how it might feel coercive, but it really isn't. It's a healthy expression of a person's being and what they want.

I think therapists get to set boundaries just as any other person does. I would hope we could honor them out of respect, and not out of fear, but if it is the latter, then that is something we need to work on and being in therapy is the ideal place to do just that.

Of course they get to set boundaries but the internet is a grey area that people are still trying to navigate. There are a lot of things that certain people have to do to protect the privacy of themselves and family members. Police officers don't have listed phone numbers and addresses, and a lot of T's don't either. Philosophically we know they shouldn't have to do this, but it's the reality. I have never heard of someone asking another person to refrain from looking at anyone's public profile on a social media site. I am going to be a T, and when I am my profile will come down and my kids' profiles on other sites will be very private. I'm not going to ask clients to personally refrain from looking at anything that is up there publicly, I don't have the right to do that anymore than someone has the right to ask me to. A boundary isn't set by requests to exercise self control and just not look at what is out there. It is set by putting access to that profile in place.

Of course they get to set boundaries but the internet is a grey area that people are still trying to navigate. There are a lot of things that certain people have to do to protect the privacy of themselves and family members. Police officers don't have listed phone numbers and addresses, and a lot of T's don't either. Philosophically we know they shouldn't have to do this, but it's the reality. I have never heard of someone asking another person to refrain from looking at anyone's public profile on a social media site. I am going to be a T, and when I am my profile will be more private as will my kids'. A boundary isn't set by asking someone to not look at things that are available for the rest of the world to see. It is set by limiting the access to those things.