[HazelGirl]

...until I see my T. I have felt so stressed out this past week. All my PTSD symptoms are acting up and I have been afraid to go anywhere or do anything. I feel like my sense of personal safety has been destroyed and although I have texted my T several times, she hasn't responded often, which makes me think she is really busy right now, which just makes me feel guilty for wanting to talk to her. I know I'm not her only client and I know she has a family and friends, and I don't want to disturb that. But things this past week have been really hard, and I used to see my T on Mondays right at this time (well, the appointment would have started about a half hour ago), but we switched to Wednesdays at the beginning of this month. And I just really want to talk to her and I can't until Wednesday and ugh. And I want to give her the painting I made her, and I want to not feel so stressed out and anxious and scared. I want her to tell me that things will be okay and that I will be okay

[IndestructibleGirl]

Hazelgirl

Can you call your T and leave a voicemail asking for a quick call back at a convenient time for her? Might make the next two days easier? I know you are hesitant because she has a family etc but honestly she can take care of herself. She's a great, solid T. You are definitely entitled to ask for a little help when struggling, and she loves you.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Hazelgirl

Can you call your T and leave a voicemail asking for a quick call back at a convenient time for her? Might make the next two days easier? I know you are hesitant because she has a family etc but honestly she can take care of herself. She's a great, solid T. You are definitely entitled to ask for a little help when struggling, and she loves you.

I can't. I don't feel like anything is bad enough for that. I don't really need anything, I just want some comfort. Everyone around me (including her at the moment) seems to keep wanting to give me solutions when I really want someone to say that things will be okay and I need to slow down and try to relax. I don't really know how to ask for that.

[tealBumblebee]

Things will be okay Hazel. But honestly, you're allowed to struggle and to miss her and to want her. You're allowed to have needs even if they can't be met exactly how and when you want them. Sorry to hear that you are struggling lovey, but one thing to remember is that if nothing else, you have your PC friends, who will be here to support you over these next two days for sure.

[SummerTime12]

I'm sorry this is a hard time! When things come up that are difficult waiting for an appointment can feel impossible. My best advice is just to take it each day at a time and try to distract yourself if possible

[IndestructibleGirl]

Hazelgirl, you have a great relationship with your T. How about texting just that - "Hey T, I'm having a really stressful week and while I have no particular needs, I really would like some simple comfort, the kind I get from knowing you're there, in my corner, because I need to relax a bit. So not wanting any advice etc, just reaching out to you xxx"

Frequently I'll text mine saying I'm just virtually reaching over and giving her hand a squeeze of love, and she'll send a text-squeeze back and I think that's similar to what you want. Just comfort. I understand. Please ask for it.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Hazelgirl, you have a great relationship with your T. How about texting just that - "Hey T, I'm having a really stressful week and while I have no particular needs, I really would like some simple comfort, the kind I get from knowing you're there, in my corner, because I need to relax a bit. So not wanting any advice etc, just reaching out to you xxx"

Frequently I'll text mine saying I'm just virtually reaching over and giving her hand a squeeze of love, and she'll send a text-squeeze back and I think that's similar to what you want. Just comfort. I understand. Please ask for it.

Love the way you worded that.

[HazelGirl]

I guess I could. But that is surprisingly terrifying. I don't really know why, since I know my T is totally willing to give that type of comfort. But for some reason, I am terrified to ask for it. I can't ever remember asking for comfort as a child, and in fact, my T and I were talking this past week about how I don't ever ask for any sort of emotional support because I don't value it. And I don't value it because I don't feel like I can get it. So I don't even try. And writing all this out, I know it would benefit me to ask and reach out, but I already have talked so much about what is going on in text and my T hasn't hardly responded at all (which is unusual for her), so I am worried about being rejected yet again.

[sweepy62]

You only have 2 more sleeps , I know what you mean though, I see my t on wednesday, the only difference is I am not looking foward to it. I am hoping wednesday gets here quick for you, but a quick call wouldnt hurt, or a text. Ptsd symptoms are horrible, trust me, mine are leaving me so scared and insecure. The painting is amazing your t will love it.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Hmm. You know your T isn't rejecting you. Are the texts you have sent to date very factual? Are they more summations of what's happening for you?

If you are not prone to asking for emotional support, then she won't know that you need it now, if your messages aren't directly asking.

Try talking straight and asking her for the comfort. You have nothing to lose - worst case, she doesn't write back, you see her in two days and can talk about it. However, knowing what I do of your T I would be extremely surprised if she radio-silenced you on this.

I actually think it is a perfect time for you to practise asking for emotional support because there's not nearly a whole week to wait to see her again; plus you could really do with it; plus, the fact that there is no practical need she can meet means that this is a chance for you to allow her to support you emotionally. You can't deflect it onto some other more practical support, iyswim.

[HazelGirl]

I know she's not rejecting me. But she is obviously busy/distracted/something else. And no, they haven't directly asked. But I guess I am hoping she will read between the lines and know what I want. But it's obvious at this point that if she does know, she would rather I ask for it than just give it to me. Which is again odd for her. But maybe I'm just overthinking things.

[HazelGirl]

Ok...so...I texted her.

I said that what I guess I have been trying to ask for is reassurance that things will be okay. And I talked some more about some of my fears, and told her about some of my PTSD symptoms recently. I also told her about how afraid I am to go anywhere and how whenever I hear a noise outside my house I panic and have to double check that the door is locked. It's especially bad at night, but if I hear something outside my door at any time, it's worrisome.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Yay!! So glad you texted!

Hugs re the anxiety - its horrible.

[HazelGirl]

She was sort of helpful. I mean, she did what I asked. But I guess I don't really know what I want or need, because it didn't help a lot.

[HazelGirl]

It's 10 PM and I need to get up early to go to work and I can't relax. I know there's nothing my T or anyone can do about it, but I hate feeling so stuck and helpless. More than anything, that's how I feel: helpless and vulnerable and unprotected.