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#1
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I screwed up my courage and asked T today if he loves me. I was expecting him to deflect the question or answer evasively - like, "I care about you" or "Does it matter to you if I love you?" But right away he answered yes. Well, not "yes" the word - he used another word which I have already blocked out but I know it was affirmative. After he said this, I started crying. I can still hardly believe it. I'm still trying to let it in that he really does care about me, even to the point of loving me. Frankly, if his answer had been no, I don't think I could have gone back.
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![]() Aloneandafraid, Anonymous200320, Anonymous37917, BonnieJean, brillskep, Depletion, Gavinandnikki, growlycat, harvest moon, Inner_Firefly, pbutton, RTerroni, UnderRugSwept
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![]() Aloneandafraid, BonnieJean, brillskep, Depletion, JustShakey, nomzod, UnderRugSwept
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#2
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That is awesome. I'm glad you did ask.
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#3
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Good for you for being brave enough to ask!! It's hard isn't it? And it feels so good to get the kind of answer you got, huh. I'm glad you asked too.
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#4
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I wish I had the courage to ask...how brave of you.
__________________
Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah --leonard cohen |
#5
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You're really brave to do that. I'm so happy for you that he affirmed his care for you! I heartily wish I have the courage to ask mine but I'm too defensive and scared.
__________________
Like diamonds, we are cut with our own dust. |
#6
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That is brave and I'm glad you got the answer you did! Well done
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__________________
INFP Introvert(67%) iNtuitive(50%) iNtuitive Feeling(75%) Perceiving(44)% |
#7
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That is really brave, and it's great your T is able to answer honestly and affirmatively
![]() I'm totally jealous though ![]() |
#8
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Good for you. It is difficult and scary to ask such a question.
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HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
#9
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Im sure Ts cant say they dont love us. But its nice he says he loves you. Mine also said it in the past when he loved me...
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#10
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I didn't ask mine, but its lovely to hear it from her. Kudos to you for asking
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__________________
“Change, like healing, takes time.”. Veronica Roth, Allegiant |
#11
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Awesome! How long have you been in therapy?
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#12
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Thanks, everyone, for saying I am brave. It is nice to hear that!
soccerMom, I've been in therapy with this T for about a year and four months. For much of that time I've been seeing him twice a week. I'm glad I posted this here because this morning I find that my brain has already gone into "don't believe it - that didn't happen" mode. Seeing my post and the responses is proof to me that it really did happen. It is amazing to observe the tricks that my mind goes through and to see the extent to which I have such a hard time letting love in. |
![]() Aloneandafraid, HealingTimes, lumisho
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#13
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That is the sweetest thing to hear. I'm glad for you to have such a nice relationship. There are not many like that.
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#14
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__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
#15
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This is so lovely to read. I am so happy for you.
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#16
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T's aren't meant to love you. And to say so is unprofessional. To ask that is wrong. They are meant to care for you but in a professional manner which is still quite removed to protect their own emotions & stuff & so they can do their job effectively.
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#17
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Quote:
And I can't imagine how asking anything in therapy is wrong. That's the complete opposite of my understanding of therapy: a safe space to be honest. I like this article about love in therapy: Attachment Theory and the Healing Psychotherapy Relationship I don't agree with everything the author says throughout his blog, but I do relate to that one. |
![]() BonnieJean, UnderRugSwept
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#18
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Oh Phoebe, your one way of doing therapy doesn't work for everyone. Maybe you don't want your T to love you, or maybe you have a twisted understanding of love, but that's not how it is with everyone.
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HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
![]() UnderRugSwept
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#19
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I am not sure how you are defining love, but it seems rather rigid. Therapists can still be quite professional and also love their patients...there are all kinds of love. And there is certainly nothing wrong with asking a T that question! It took a lot of courage, and I personally give the OP lots of credit for speaking their mind.
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"Take me with you, I don't need shoes to follow, Bare feet running with you, Somewhere the rainbow ends, my dear." - Tori Amos |
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