[Soccer mom]

Several of us were on another thread discussing the various feelings we have in between sessions and how hard it is for the time to pass and then we only get 50 min with our T. when our session does come.
Have any of you discussed with your T. how to better cope? Will these feelings fade as issues are discussed? I'm so tired of feeling sadness, longing in between sessions. I want to get back to focusing on living in the present - not counting down days until my next session.

[stopdog]

The second one I see has said to call her because she thinks talking to her can be grounding.
The first one mentioned calling her once, but the one time I actually tried it, she seemed confused as to why I was calling. So I write stuff down and mail it to her. It helps me between. I also exercise and walk the dogs a lot.

[HazelGirl]

Mine has told me many times that if I'm struggling, to tell her, because me being alone in what I am feeling and going through is a repeat of my past trauma (emotional neglect), and she doesn't want that. If I need her, I can text or call her.

[Soccer mom]

Oh and remember not everyone can contact their T's in between....

[BlessedRhiannon]

If I feel I really need it, I will contact T in between, but I try to avoid that, because I'm just not comfortable doing so. I think my T would prefer that I contact her more, but it's a challenge. Sometimes, I send T emails, sometimes I just type up drafts that I save and will never send. I write in my journal often. I exercise, spend time doing things with the dogs, spend time on crafts where I can totally focus on the craft rather than my thoughts/emotions, talk to close friends, and sometimes, I just give in and let myself have a good cry.

[msxyz]

I can email my therapist when I want to.

I also walk my dog a lot, sometimes we go hiking because I find forests soothing. Petting my dog helps,too, that's my dog therapy. I also like to read, basically doing things that I find enjoyable and calming.

[msxyz]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

Oh and remember not everyone can contact their T's in between....

You could write letters and send them via mail or bring them into session.

[archipelago]

As with HazelGirl's response, my therapist encourages me to reach out due to a past of neglect, where I never felt I could and would just give up in silence. He thinks it is important and potentially healing that I feel that I can reach out in the first place and that then I get a response, even if it is mainly symbolic. As time has passed, I became more reassured that it was right for me to want to reach out and that I would get a response so I internalized that and don't need to actually do it.

For me, this mainly faded with time. However, it comes back during certain periods depending on what we are working on. So what my therapist did was make a set of "relaxation" tapes for me on my phone. (He does some hypnosis.) Part of that was to actually give me a tool, but a larger part was to give me access to him through a recording that was personal so that I could play it at any time. Nice thing about that is that it is very easy to do.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

Oh and remember not everyone can contact their T's in between....

But calling/contacting them was the thing that the two I see suggested when they brought up how to deal in between. So in the discussion - that was the result of it. It was not my idea to call them.

Have you yet discussed the idea with the therapist you see?

[Crook32]

With my old T I would email her in between because I am way more articulate in the emails then I would ever be talking in therapy. But even then it was very hard between sessions. She would try to get me to live in the moment and not worry about the future but that doesn't work well for me.

With my new T we just don't have a relationship yet that I feel comfortable asking for contact between sessions.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by stopdog

But calling/contacting them was the thing that the two I see suggested when they brought up how to deal in between. So in the discussion - that was the result of it. It was not my idea to call them.

Have you yet discussed the idea with the therapist you see?

No, I haven't. I used to text her and she would respond but she told me early on that if it was something she felt she needed to address in a session, she wouldn't respond. She told me when I first started that not only could I text her anytime but that I was one of the few she texted with. I texted her one day that I was really upset and she never responded. She said it went along the lines of needing to wait until a session. I explained it was the first time she hadn't responded to me and it hurt. She then understood. I haven't tried since. I think she's had to be more careful due to the maternal transference that has developed since she offered the texts. Yes, Something I need to add to the list to discuss with her. She'll respond about appointments but it doesn't seem the same - not as many smiley faces. And, I'm much more insecure right now which doesn't help. Monday can't come soon enough!

[Leah123]

Withholding a response seems like quite a backwards way of dealing with maternal transference, more likely to exacerbate it than heal it.... are you sure that's what she's doing?

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Withholding a response seems like quite a backwards way of dealing with maternal transference, more likely to exacerbate it than heal it.... are you sure that's what she's doing?

I think she was sticking to her original statement that if she isn't sure how to take a text or sees a lot in it, she's not going to respond until the session. It was over a very touchy subject where I felt she didn't believe me about something very personal. She's right - she could have misunderstood the text and everything is always better in person. I remind myself that she doesn't email or text with other clients - I am one of the few.

[stopdog]

For what it is worth, I do not write the therapist in order for the therapist to respond. Her responses are usually worse than useless. I write to get stuff away from me. I often use regular mail rather than email to keep down the possibility for response and because I think email and texting are often done (not saying this is how OP would be) more off the cuff. Writing by hand uses different parts of the brain (I am not making this up - there are studies).

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I think she was sticking to her original statement that if she isn't sure how to take a text or sees a lot in it, she's not going to respond until the session. It was over a very touchy subject where I felt she didn't believe me about something very personal. She's right - she could have misunderstood the text and everything is always better in person. I remind myself that she doesn't email or text with other clients - I am one of the few.

It doesn't make much sense to me either... I'm sorry Soccer Mom. I mean, surely she knows that it's hurtful to respond... respond... respond... then suddenly, when something urgent/painful comes up... not respond? I think I'd feel very set up by that, plus I wouldn't be able to tell if she was not responding on purpose, if she was upset, if she didn't see the text, etc. It would make me nuts!

I guess I just don't get why she doesn't come up with some way to respond, without getting in depth... like, "I'm sorry you're dealing with that... let's talk about it more at the next session." or "That sounds important, can we address it in session?" - something like that, so she at least *acknowledges* what you've said, and let's you know that she knows it's important and you'll have a chance to discuss it more.

[msxyz]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Writing by hand uses different parts of the brain (I am not making this up - there are studies).

I am intrigued, do you have more information about that? I might want to try that.

[Parley]

Originally Posted by Akama

I am intrigued, do you have more information about that? .

me too but I think it's too personal for me. I don't think I could keep the relationship in perspective. Writing confuses my mind and I'd be hurt without a response and stop writing.

[stopdog]

I know about it more in terms of learning and note - taking for students. But, for me, it works also for other things.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/03/sc...ades.html?_r=0

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/...31932754922518

Why You Learn More Effectively by Writing Than Typing

http://www.nwp.org/cs/public/print/resource/3555

Research: Handwriting Helps Child Brain Development - Education News