[LifeIsCruel]

My T is just like all the others I have seen...a joke and a rip off!!!

They constantly say, "accept what you can't change."....and I reply, "How? How do I do this?"

Like a famous commercial, they say, "Just do it."

T's just don't "get it"!!!!!!!!!!!

[guilloche]

(((LifeIsCruel))) - so sorry. I know, I feel the same way sometimes. I wish I had a better answer for you...

I'm really sorry. I think this shows a lack of skill on the part of your therapist(s). There's a fine line between helping someone sort things out so that they can arrive at a way to move forward and "helping" them by leaping to a conclusion that may be true but is invalidating when the work hasn't been done to reach it. The first one is empowering and the work of therapy (speaking for myself, although it takes a long time, with lots of backwards and forwards) and the other is just alienating. You're not wrong to be upset.

[CastlesInTheAir]

I get turned off when a T uses platitudes. I don't need to pay someone for platitudes, they are everywhere.

[lilypup]

I agree. That's not a good way to approach things. They should be patiently talking things through with you.

[LifeIsCruel]

PS
This is only my 21st therapist..... during my 32 year battle.

I am giving up on therapists, just like I have on life.

[CastlesInTheAir]

Originally Posted by LifeIsCruel

PS
This is only my 21st therapist..... during my 32 year battle.

I am giving up on therapists, just like I have on life.

I'm curious.... Out of the 21 what were thier designations? Lcsw, lp, phd, psyd, etc...

Im curious...

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by LifeIsCruel

PS
This is only my 21st therapist..... during my 32 year battle.

I am giving up on therapists, just like I have on life.

Normally, I would say this sounds like bad luck. But the chances of getting 21 bad T's in a row is almost none. So what might you be doing to contribute to your failure in therapy? Wrong beliefs? Unrealistic expectations? Unwillingness to talk about what bothers you? How can you make some changes to make the chance of a possible outcome in therapy higher?

Can I suggest one I am noticing from this thread? Stop believing that all T's are the same. No two people are the same and lumping them all together won't do anything to help you. It will only cause you to focus on the ways they all fail you rather than trying to collaborate with them to create a positive outcome for you.

[Leah123]

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...mpossible.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...me-ripoff.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...sked-me-2.html

I think your prior threads on this topic have some good food for thought that I hope will be helpful.

[RedSun]

Oh I'm sorry.
My t is fab, though. They're not all bad!
I think HazelGirl's post has much food for thought?
Good luck. Please don't give up on life. Maybe therapy is not going to be the key for you. Maybe something completely different, like massage therapy, might be an alternative?

[blur]

Life, do you believe in a higher power? if so, maybe try the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

[LifeIsCruel]

Originally Posted by CastlesInTheAir

I'm curious.... Out of the 21 what were thier designations? Lcsw, lp, phd, psyd, etc...

Im curious...

LCSW, psychiatrist, psychologist, psychiatric tech, Licensed Clinical Therapists

[LifeIsCruel]

They think I should "accept" my ectomorph body and thin hair and lack of muscles and be happy and focus on the positives (which I told them I have none) and feel lucky to be alive and count my blessings and others are worse off and skip thru the daisies!!!!....meanwhile, most other, no...ALL other guys have a great body and hair.

I have a young male relative who has all those "great" physical attributes, but he's a total jerk. How you treat yourself and others is something you do have control over. Trust me, respect and kindness is a lot more attractive than muscles. I'm not saying that to dismiss your pain, which is immense and not to be disregarded. I just want to point out from the other side (and gender) that there's a lot more value in a person's heart than their hair or biceps. And that is definitely something you can do something about.

[LifeIsCruel]

Originally Posted by blur

Life, do you believe in a higher power? if so, maybe try the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Yes, I believe and have often prayed that prayer....have gotten no answer or help from God yet either.

[unaluna]

Two words - Steve Buscemi.

[LifeIsCruel]

Originally Posted by hankster

Two words - Steve Buscemi.

A talented actor, director and writer?

Helps me how? There are thousands of them!!

You could have used a legend....Clint Eastwood!!!!

Originally Posted by LifeIsCruel

They think I should "accept" my ectomorph body and thin hair and lack of muscles and be happy and focus on the positives (which I told them I have none) and feel lucky to be alive and count my blessings and others are worse off and skip thru the daisies!!!!....meanwhile, most other, no...ALL other guys have a great body and hair.

How old are you? Because if you are over 40... The vast majority of guys are talking about their failing bodies and are losing their hair. I think you need to rethink ALL... Because there are people in wheel chairs and men who suffer from MS and cerebral palsy..etc..etc..

Not to sound harsh but... You can have all the therapist in the world but it's not going to change your life unless you are able to see yourself as more than your body.... You have whatever physical issues that you have...most people can't change those... You have those issues whether you decide to accept them or not... But you can chose how you deal with them.. What you focus on...

My husband has physical issues and is losing his hair... I love and married him for who he was on the inside...

I hope you can see the positives about yourself

[LifeIsCruel]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

How old are you? Because if you are over 40... The vast majority of guys are talking about their failing bodies and are losing their hair. I think you need to rethink ALL... Because there are people in wheel chairs and men who suffer from MS and cerebral palsy..etc..etc..

Not to sound harsh but... You can have all the therapist in the world but it's not going to change your life unless you are able to see yourself as more than your body.... You have whatever physical issues that you have...most people can't change those... You have those issues whether you decide to accept them or not... But you can chose how you deal with them.. What you focus on...

My husband has physical issues and is losing his hair... I love and married him for who he was on the inside...

I hope you can see the positives about yourself

Sorry to hear your husband has these issues too...my condolences.I am 47...have battled this since age 16---DAILY!!! (2 suicide attempts) all that keeps me going now is time...I know my battle has to be 75% over since I am 47....I await...I anticipate and I welcome it.

[stopdog]

I am uncertain as to what sort of support you want. Do you want agreement that your therapist was not useful? Do you want sympathy towards your self view? Do you want to be told to try again? Something else?

[LifeIsCruel]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am uncertain as to what sort of support you want. Do you want agreement that your therapist was not useful? Do you want sympathy towards your self view? Do you want to be told to try again? Something else?

There is no support for my issues, not looking for agreement or sympathy, and am not trying again....I am just venting and hoping no one else has had to endure this plight.