OMG !!!! No callback from t but ran into her today at a fest

*Hugs*

I am sorry that this happened to you Sweepy!
You definitely deserved better. I understand that there are boundaries and that T is not required to share her outside life with you. But the lying...I'm not sure how to feel about that. First of all, it's unethical. White lies in order to be a protective factor are one thing, but for something as juvenile as this? Ugh. I'm upset for you! Especially when this was a step for you. Getting out of the house and doing things is hard when you're feeling unmotivated. This wasn't some little thing.
She could have said something like, yeah, I've heard of it/know something about it. Anything other than a flat out lie.
You deserve an apology at the very least.

oh sweepy, i'm sorry you are dealing with this. it all sounds upsetting and confusing.

Thank you everyone, so very much. I thank you for your honest feedback, when I come here and ask for oppinions, I really mean honest oppinions, I dont mind, I look for the truth, I never had it growing up, I dont get my feelings hurt, I appreciate constructive criticism, just ask hazelgirl lol.
Anyway, you are right, t could have said, anything but, "i have never heard of it" or said nothing at all. I do appreciate what she has done until this whole mess began, she has helped with my artwork, she got me using canvas, and being confidant using it. She has seen all my work, she is an art therapist as well. She is always telling me to get my stuff seen. That is why I told her about this art festival. We share music and art in common. We listen to music in session and talk about art together, she does disclose personal stuff to me once in a while.
Maybe if I didnt have all these stressors going on, maybe if the scheduling was not off, and I was not insecure and all these inconsistencies were happening, I would be reacting differently to the callback and the festival thing. In the middle of this mess, yes this does bother me. The last thing I want is to have a reason not to trust her. This is to silly of a lie, but then it makes me wonder. I dont want to wonder.

When do you see her next Sweepy? And when was the phone call due to happen, is there a chance she might call this week instead?..How was it arranged?

i saw her on the 10th , i called ,that next morning left her a voicemail, somethings she said left me insecure. I see her next on the 24th.. I am hoping she will call this week. I wont give up hope. I think if she answers my questions or gives me some reasurance, I will feel better, but then, I still have a small doubt.

Maybe the above represents why she used to return calls more promptly and may not return them at all now and also give a clue as to why she might give a scatterbrained answer about the festival, especially if she called it something else in her own mind.

The biggest problem is you need to be seen more often and she can't do it. The situation is untenable. I hate to see you feeling awful over a phone call that wasn't returned while ignoring the Big Issue. You need a therapist who can actually give you the time and attention you need. Your current T can't do that. She may be a great person and a skilled T and a good fit for you. But she can't see you. It's not her fault and not your fault. It's out of both of your control.

To me, the fest and the phone call are red herrings. They distract from the real problem while taking up all the negative emotions that ... I don't know ... I'll just say that I'd feel pretty darn bad if I was practically begging for weekly sessions and the twice a month deal kept getting extended again and again.

It's okay to move on to another therapist and hopefully you can leave with you and current T like this: It makes no sense to put yourself into when the situation is going to remain untenable no matter how annoyed you feel at your T. Or you can suck it up and decide you want current T and you're willing to wait. That means giving her some slack.

Only you can decide which options are best for you. But just doesn't seem like a good option, not when the clinic situation is bigger than both of you. It's the situation that stinks. Not you and not T.

I think I remember you referring in one post to your Spidey sense (I think that was you?). It could be that your message and request for a call back touches on something she's not ready to share yet, but that is a very real concern. From everything you've described with the other two therapists leaving the same group, and the increased caseload for the remaining Ts, she might not be at the top of her game. I don't want to make excuses for her, because I do think it was troubling that she said she'd never heard of that festival, but what if she didn't track what you were telling her because maybe she's on overload?

Not returning your phone call makes me think she can't tell you the answer for whatever reason. My last therapist knew that I picked up on behind the scenes issues (problems with her office support, for example) and they affected me, so she was very open if I asked, even if it was actually none of my business. I just wish you could learn what's up with the mixed messages so that it's not so crazy-making.

ETA: I see that SnakeCharmer already addressed the caseload effect.

I agree with this. She sounds overwhelmed. And it's possible that the sheer number of T's leaving in such a short amount of time points to an unhealthy work environment that's taking an emotional toll on her.

About the festival... Don't assume she has been there before..or that she had heard of it...

I have sisters and mine would have said oh we come every year if they individually went every year even if it was my first time....They of course are talking about themselves...

Ask her don't assume or accuse.

I'm actually more concerned , hoping she calls me back. The festival thing, that she said she never heard of, went like this: me: t I'm going to the autumn and arts festival.

T: oh I never heard of it.
Me: they are showing paintings and other arts.

T: very good

THE DAY OF THE FESTIVAL

Me: hi t
T: hi how are u, are u having fun
Me : yes
The sister or whoever: Yes , we come here every year it's wonderful .

In that moment to me it sounded like she and her frequented the festival every year. I could be wrong.

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Therapy works best when the client knows very little about their T. It's about you, not her/him. You're not there to find a new BFF. Psych 101

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Thank you for your input, I know I'm not there for a BFF , it's the farthest thing from my mind. I'm not seeking disclosure either. The whole idea behind the thread was , what is bothering me the most is that she has not called back , then the fact about we met at this festival, which at this moment, is not on my priority list anymore.

I hardly call this t or ask for callback in the 6 months I been seeing her.

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Maybe this T has too many clients. Maybe you should find another if call backs are important to you. She crossed the line by lying. But it was a quick way to dismiss the festival. Clients should not know a T's social activities. You sound so upset. T's are not supposed to upset you. Find another. I had to go through several till I found my match. Good luck!!!

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Oh, and just because a T has a great reputation and a large impressive office does not mean they can help you better. In fact, those are the one's too busy. I got some of my best therapy at a free clinic. They aren't interested in $$$ they do it out of compassion.

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Thanks , I think that if things don't settle soon, that would be in my best interest to do.

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This ^

Sweepy--some of us need a "good-enough parent" to be our therapist (I know I do). I wonder if she is?

Thank you, so much I needed to hear that.

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My T did the same thing. The topic of facebook came up and she acted really ignorant like she had no idea about facebook and didn't have an account but then I found her on there and she's been a very active member since like 2008. I know how you feel, it's like...why keep it from us? what's even the point? Very annoying.

There's a difference between outright lying and feigning ignorance in therapy. Sometimes they act clueless to get you to expand on something, or to get you to realize something for yourself. It's annoying but in therapy, I inwardly roll my eyes and play along.

So sorry Sweepy
As it's been several days since your phone message, It would not be unreasonable to call again and say that you were wondering whether she got the message, as you haven't heard back...

It was last Wednesday I left the message, and trust me it takes alt for me to leave messages saying call me back, to think that she was the one encouraging this. Anyway it is now 9/17 and still no callback .

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I have been thinking of you, Sweepy. I am so sorry you still haven't had a call back. I know how much it takes to make that call. You deserve better - much better.

Thank you, I will wait till the 24th and see what's what, and get some answers. Been feeling down lately but not because of the call, I guess I been through alot the past 2 months and it finally hit me. The fact that I'm not processing it verbally is a factor. At least I have my pc family which is consistant.

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Awe (((Sweepy))) Really hope things look up soon.

I feel the same about the PC family. It is reassuring to know we can come here.
Please take good care of yourself, Sweepy. You've been through a lot.