Diary

I have kept a diary for the past several years while in therapy. I honestly don't remember most of what's written in it. But I decided this week to hand it over to my T for her to read. All of it. All hundred+ pages of whiny emotions, and complaining about my life, and trying to think, and trying to come to terms with my past, and all the garbage. I couldn't share a lot of it with her at the time, but I think now is the time for her to see it. But I'm understandably concerned (which is a gross understatement!). So yeah...

Brave...brave woman!!!

Seriously have a lot of respect for you.

I showed one page to my T and he sort of embarrassed me by commenting because I corrected my spelling by crossing out word and writing it correctly above it. He said even in your personal writing you can't stop being a perfectionist...

It helps that I don't know what 80% of it says.

That's a huge step, I'm glad your t accepted it. Maybe this will help. I hope it won't make you more anxious. It's sort of like putting your head on her shoulders type of thing.

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My T is absolutely delighted to get the opportunity to read it. I'm trying not to think about whether I wrote anything about her in there.

You are brave. There's no way in hell I'd let my T read my journal. I think I'd be crawling under his couch...

Good luck to you! I couldn't do that because my diary probably has at least 2000 pages by now (it's in Word, thankfully).