[Bentay]

I duno whats wrong with me
I terminated with my T in Dec last year & we had only a couple of further staggered sessions, then it was all over after two years together......finish!

But even after 10 months I still think about him & miss him every, single, day! Like I google him most nights (he has almost 0 presence on the web tho) & I dunno, I just want to feel close to him in some small way, I just find it comforting I guess.

What do I do ??? Has anyone else felt this way ? When will I get over this relationship ??? any words of advice would be appreciated .

[Leah123]

I've definitely felt that way. When I lost my first therapist in high school, I was grief-stricken for a long time. I think what finally happened for me was that I just let myself cry and be miserable as long as I needed and I held onto the warm memories of her like... a little light in my soul that eventually stopped flickering and stabilized. I subconsciously finished internalizing her after a while. She did give me a tiny little teddy bear and that helped. I also had a song that reminded me of her- I listened to it a long time... music helps me process my emotions, I wonder what might help with yours.

Also, is there any reason you can't contact him?

I don't think there's anything wrong with touching base for a one time session or to ask if he'd write you a note to help you hold onto his presence better or something.

My therapist moved to China, so, we couldn't keep in contact (this was before email was well established and everyone had computers), but if you are able to, I'd jump at the chance.

[Abe Froman]

I feel like I'm about to change T's, I don't want to, but not necessarily getting what I need from her.

Can't help but think that no matter what I'll be comparing any other candidate to the current one.

[Freewilled]

Can you start going to see a new T? Sounds like there are some things that were not able to be worked through with him.

[Zippo]

I'm having the same problem letting go. I cry a lot and feel so alone like no one will ever listen to me like that again or be so kind and it's been over a year. It feels like the sadness will never end and it is a big part of my current depression. Don't know what to tell you except I'm going through the same. I can't have a therapist again because of money and location so I'm on my own but if you can talk it through with another therapist it might help. I started a thread on this same topic ("can't get over Pdoc leaving" it was called) a few days ago and there were good comments from people who have felt the same and it helped.

[purplemystery]

I remember when you terminated with your T. If it helps, I terminated in May and still feel the same way as well. I have regrets about things I didn't say or didn't ask for clarification on. And I miss her every day and think about her a lot. I hope it gets easier and I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

[Bentay]

Thank you so much to everyone, having such understanding ppl on this forum means a lot.
I will eventually start group therapy but I can't see my T again or contact him as I'm in the UK & my therapy was on the NHS so once its over its over.
I did attend 3 sessions with this other private therapist but she wasn't great & said some things that made me feel like she was judging me so I decided it was best to end with her.