I haven't quite been able to articulate my thoughts on this to my T yet. but I am a bit concerned about power issues.

I've been seeing a T for the first time, about 4 months now. She is the expert and I am the opposite. I had never expected it to feel like that. I feel that this somehow diminshes my sense of self. She is very articulate, I am full of emotion when I am in the room with her and find it hard to express myself. Sometimes I feel that I have to almost argue against her when she doesn't seem to understand me - hard when she is overpoweringly more articulate.

I'm imagining that this is a bit of a universal issue - not unique to me and my T?

I have spoken to her about my fears of therapy destroying me a bit - but haven't been able to articulate exactly what I meant by that.

(these thoughts are running alongside lots of postive thoughts about therapy, including what great insight it is giving me, and what a relief to talk, finally, after all these years).

[iheartjacques]

I expect them to know what they're talking about, but not to be lectured to. I hope you will learn more as you will go along, remember, you're the expert on YOU, not her

[Can't Stop Crying]

it helps me to write things down before session, so if i get caught up in the emotions, i have something to refer to...

just a thought....

[HazelGirl]

Could you bring that up with her? Maybe she has some advice or help for you to be able to handle it?

[stopdog]

I don't view therapists as experts at anything. They may have knowledge I do not about how therapy is supposed to work. But beyond that they know no more than I do and quite often, less

[QUOTE=Brown Owl;4046759]. . . She is very articulate, I am full of emotion when I am in the room with her and find it hard to express myself. Sometimes I feel that I have to almost argue against her when she doesn't seem to understand me - hard when she is overpoweringly more articulate.QUOTE]

You above statement worried me a bit. I think feeling overwhelmed and inarticulate is pretty normal when someone first enters therapy . . . or even later in therapy. When I'm overwhelmed emotionally, I find it hard to find ways to express myself, and if I'm asked how I feel, I often don't know because I've spent years of my life pushing or hiding my emotions. I'm a visual person and I often have to take the time to visualize or draw a picture in my mind to describe what is going on for me. For example: In the past, I've described to my therapist that the emotional turmoil inside of me often felt like a wild tumultuous sandstorm, raging and swirling around me. It would sting and threatens to topple me over and bury me, and I told her that when in the midst of the storm, I couldn't really see her or hear her because the sand was so thick and the roar of the wind around me was so loud. It took me a LONG time to realize and describe what that emotional overload was like for me. But when I got it, it really fit what I was experiencing. My therapist was really good at waiting for me to come up with the words. She never attempted to describe it for me. She was patient and encouraging in her quiet.

A good therapist is someone who recognizes the need for us to come up with the words to tell about our experience. She doesn't attempt to put words or feelings into us. Sometimes it's about sitting quietly or gently encouraging the client to go inward and feel the emotions before trying to push them out. I hope your therapist isn't rushing in to put her spin on what she thinks is going on with you. If a therapist does all the talking, then there isn't any space to pause, think and then speak. Encouraging us and supporting our efforts is fine and helpful, but the actual experience needs to come from us.

I'd encourage you to talk about this more with her. It might help her to see that perhaps she's being over eager to ease the quiet silence or pain you're feeling when in those emotions. Therapy can be painful and sometimes our therapists are uncomfortable with the angst they find us fall into and they move too quickly to try and ease it. I hope you're able to talk to her and she hears you!

Stop dog I like your attitude, maybe I need to take the T off the pedestal that I have placed her on, I don't think she has placed herself there intentionally.

I'm surprised no one seems to feel the same way as me about there being a bit of a power imbalance?

Thanks for your post jay bird, I also feel some indescribable emotion, I was wondering if others feel this too. I think you are right the T (I've decided to stop calling her my T) has been rushing me, I considered her to be over enthusiastic, ( I didn't put it like that to her) we've talked about that (as I described in a different post), and she is quieter and slower.