not sure what should happen next?

i hope this is in the right section?

I need help, i'm not sure what else i should do treatment wise. I have been seeing a therapist for a while and a psychiatrist for a month only (but i was on meds beforehand from my gp, they got switched tho).

I am really feeling bad as hell. Everything feels so ....fractured. I'm really paranoid, suicidal, out of control and confused. My mind is always racing and thinking about what is going wrong. I just feel incredibly mentally unstable.
I'm not opposed to going to the hospital, i actually kind of want it as a "safe place" (i know people have bad experiences there though sometimes). But I don't know how long i would be there, if it is only like 3 days, then what is the point? Or maybe some type of day program. I don't know. I feel like i just take like, half a step forward then 5 steps back. I'm always regressing and something more needs to be done. I just don't know how to initiate it..

Sometimes people get into a program called IOP. Intensive outpatient. You can't do it and work. It is quite a few groups and stuff during the day.

Did you get worse after the med change? If so, can you go back to your psychiatrist and tell him or her that the change made you worse?

If you are thinking th ehospital would help, even if just for a few days, then go for it (though if you are still unstable after a few days, they won't discharge you). They could also help you secure more intensive outpatient support (as zinco mentioned) that could help out.
If you are worried it's a med thing, call the pdoc again and mention it (either get in ot see him again asap, or talk over the phone about it). Though again, if you are needing that safe place, meds can be addressed at the hospital as well.

I don't work but i am a student :/ thats my issue bc i dont want it to interfere. My t did talk about some type of outpatient thing for me before though

I don't think it is the meds specifically, as it has only been a week. It is possible but i go through waves of feeling intense so its hard for me to know what is going on. I do go back in 3 weeks

how would i go about that? i'm worried they wont admit me unless i have like a definite suicide plan?

If you present to an ER and express feeling unsafe, tell then what is going on, and what your worries are, you can likely secure admission. You don't have to have a definite plan, just a concern for your safety. If you go in telling them you feel suicidal but definitely won't do anything, they may simply have you talk to the dr and/or a crisis worker and send you home, but if you express any ambiguity around being able to remain safe, they will generally admit you. The first time I ever went inpatient, all I said was that I was really struggling with my depression and did not believe I could keep myself safe any longer. The only issue I could see arising is a lack of available beds. If that is the reason they are trying to discharge you but you do not feel ok leaving, tell them that. If you insist that you are concerned about your ability to stay safe, they have to find you a bed.
You can start out by calling a local crisis line like 211. They would be able to give you an idea of the process. Many regions also have "mobile crisis" which would send a clinician (or team) out to you for an assessment and could also help facilitate admission someplace. Generally, 211 knows how to get in touch with them and will offer it if it's available in your region. It works a bit different in each state, but most places are willing to help you out to get admitted. Voluntary is always better (even if only by a hair) than involuntary. 211 (infoline) is generally a good resource and will actively help you get someplace if you ask for it.

Perhaps you could call the psychiatrist office to see if this could be a side effect of new drugs or withdrawal symptoms of the old drugs?

thank you so much! I'm going to personally message you actually

I've felt like this before though, i'm not sure whats going on and i'm scared to call them :c all i did was switch from prozac to zoloft

This may be something for which to call your psychiatrist immediately. You said you went from a PC to a pdoc. It appears that you are going from prozax to zoloft, two antidepressants. In an earlier statement, you said that your mind was "racing".

I am not an expert, but I had a similar experience. It wasn't until I used the term that my mind was "racing" that people began to realize that I actually have bipolar II, not Major Depression. Taking antidepressants alone when you may actually be bipolar can throw you into mania (hypomania in my case), or a mixed state. You may still be depressed, but if you are also extremely agitated and experiencing a higher level of energy, cannot settle down, then you definitely want to talk about this with your psyciatrist. Also, antidepressants alone made me extremely suicidal.

Yeah, prozac definitely made me more suicidal than i was before. I dont really have high energy or any other signs of mania, besides racing thoughts (which happens to me anyway?). I will definitely mention it to my pdoc though. My mom has bipolar type 2, but my pdoc said I didn't have that but that i had bpd.

Well, I am not a psychiatrist, but if there is a family history of bipolar disorder, I would want a second opinion. I went decades misdiagnosed with major depression, and my family is now busting at the seams with bipolar disorder. Symptoms of the two diagnoses often overlap each other. What makes him think you have bpd over bp?

well i agree with my bpd dx actually. I have mdd also, but when i experience mood swings it is pretty quick and i dont really experience like "good" mood swings. It's just between negative emotions. I've never had a manic episode which is why my pdoc didn't say it was bp. I have ocd too which may be the cause of my thoughts being disorganized and rapid and intrusive. I'm not sure what to do with myself haha

My hypomania could actually go unnoticed unless you knew me really well. At best, the "good" kind, I am actually just much more outgoing, because usually I am quite reserved, and someone might say something like, "what were you drinking?". My best friend would notice though, and will frequently tell me that I am becoming manic (really it's hypomania) mostly because I keep talking. I might also be able to get a lot of things done if I am able to focus. Focusing is the hard part. But mostly, my hypomania is the agitated irritable kind, probably why I went undiagnosed for so long because depression can also make you look agitated and irritable. In my true depressions, however, all I want to do is sleep and eat.

So at any rate, has your psychiatrist considered adding a mood stabilizer to your meds. A lot don't think it will help with bpd but if you also have a mood disorder, it couldn't hurt to ask.

Oh, but wait, my first indication of becoming hypomanic besides a change in sleep is when my mind becomes obsessive, and my thoughts become "disorganized, rapid, and intrusive". So is that all the time for you or does it come and go? It isn't all the time for me, so when I asked my doctor about it, she told me that it was one of my hypomania symptoms and that it was actually quite common.

It is hard for me to label my emotions and thought processes in a clear way. I usually can't label or distinguish what i am feeling at all, it is just like....a chaotic mess of everything. It feels like confusing white noise honestly.

Yeah my thoughts are always like that :/ just sometimes more than others, usually this leads to dissociative episodes though when it becomes wayyy too much. I also have a hard time focusing like you said, but that is pretty constant for me.

So how are you feeling tonight because in your original post you didn't seem to be feeling very stable.

im still feeling the same but im not alone so its a little better

I'm glad you are not alone. Try to stay that way until you can talk to your therapist or pdoc. Goodnight.

Hey, sorry I was gone most of yesterday. I'm glad you were not alone. Hopefully you can get some help soon.
If may be scary to call the pdoc, but definitely tell them what's going on. They can't help if they don't know...