[MindfulMoment]

So, at the end of my last therapy session I told my T that I was really pleased with the session expecting her to tell me that she was pleased also, but she gave me nothing. I repeated it and still no response. Are Ts allowed to say that they felt the session was good, or agree with you? It really took me by surprise that she didn't say anything back. Has anyone ever said something similar to their T?

Would be really grateful if someone could shed a light on what's going on???

MM

[JaneTennison1]

My T tends not to label things as a good or bad session as she doesn't want me to feel like crap by labelling things as "bad". She will acknowledge if things were difficult in a session. Sometimes she will say sometimes that she feels I've done well when I have done something but for the most part she won't say good or bad session.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Does she generally give you much feedback? Or talk much herself? Is she more a blank slate T?

How long have you been seeing her?

This could be way out and wrong but - when you say a 'good' session, what do you mean exactly? Are you trying to be a 'good' client?

[Lauliza]

I've never said anything about a good session. I have said that I think I'm doing a lot better and T has agreed with me said "yes you are. you're doing very well". I think that was pretty sincere.

I general I think it depends on what it is you're asking. There's no rule that they aren't allowed to agree or disagree with you, but if they don't they may use language so you don't feel bad. It was my pdoc who I told I was doing much better. If he didn't see it that way, he might have said something more like, "Really? That's good. How so?"

[MindfulMoment]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

My T tends not to label things as a good or bad session as she doesn't want me to feel like crap by labelling things as "bad". She will acknowledge if things were difficult in a session. Sometimes she will say sometimes that she feels I've done well when I have done something but for the most part she won't say good or bad session.

That's what surprised me, the fact that she sometimes says that 'last weeks session was quite intense' when I've mentioned that I've been thinking and stressing about it all week, but she didn't acknowledge that this weeks one went well.

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Does she generally give you much feedback? Or talk much herself? Is she more a blank slate T?

How long have you been seeing her?

This could be way out and wrong but - when you say a 'good' session, what do you mean exactly? Are you trying to be a 'good' client?

No she doesn't give me a huge amount of feedback, or talk much at all, which is something which really bugs me, although this session she spoke a lot more which pleased me.

I'm not trying to be a good client, it's more if I feel I've discussed everything which I've wanted to discuss, have learnt something about myself and have not got too anxious, or triggered then I consider it to be a 'good' session. I felt the same about our last session, the only thing I did this week was express it. It didn't hurt that she said nothing back, just struck me as odd and wanted to know if there's something in it.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I've never said anything about a good session. I have said that I think I'm doing a lot better and T has agreed with me said "yes you are. you're doing very well". I think that was pretty sincere.

I general I think it depends on what it is you're asking. There's no rule that they aren't allowed to agree or disagree with you, but if they don't they may use language so you don't feel bad. It was my pdoc who I told I was doing much better. If he didn't see it that way, he might have said something more like, "Really? That's good. How so?"

I'm not sure what I was asking when I said it, I just expected her to agree that it was nice, in the same way you may have a lovely night out with your partner and turn to them at the end of the night and agree that it has been a lovely night. It struck me as unusual that she didn't respond, which is why I repeated myself. Perhaps she'll probe more at our next session.

Thanks for responding guys

[HazelGirl]

I would guess it has to do with her general outlook on therapy, based on your responses.

[sweepy62]

She won't say good session or bad session , I will be the one saying , I wasted this session , or this session was crap, she will question it, she will say, we got some stuff done, not as much as would have like to work on. We always talk about how the session went.

[ThisWayOut]

It would bother me also if t simply didn't acknowledge i had said anything.
If I've ever said a session was good or bad, t's have wanted to know what I based it on. Generally that qualification comes the the following week. I rarely comment about a session as it is ending...

this is slightly off topic cuz it's not about how any particular session went, but it is about t agreeing with me and it is a funny story so thought I'd share:

One time I was kinda beating myself up in a session and saying that I'm an idiot. and she's all no you're not bla bla bla and I kept pushing it saying yes I am and so in a humorously-exasperatingly way goes "Ok! You're an idiot!" and we both started laughing.

Come to think of it, that was a "good" session.

Yes, my t is a goofball sometimes.

[unaluna]

My ts idea of what is a good session does not really match mine. He is pretty stingy with saying good session, or maybe i am stingy with giving over the emotions that lead him to say so.

[iheartjacques]

T's can be contrary. I'll be feeling like a heap of useless and he'll say I'm not the person he met 18 months ago, I've made huge changes etc. so I don't know if that's because I'm doing the homework and trying to put things into practice and I do generally feel better overall.