![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
T mentioned in her email to me, powerlessness....
What does that mean to others? What's your inner experience of this? |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
I have had the feeling at times that there is nothing I can do to change my situation. I also feel somewhat powerless in my relationship with my T. I feel that the relationship is infinitely more important to me than it is to her and this makes me vulnerable.
|
#3
|
||||
|
||||
Most of the time, when I am feeling truly powerless, it is because of an emotional flashback. As a child, I was powerless. And sometimes, things in the present trigger those past powerless feelings.
For me, it means I cannot do anything to change a situation, and it feels hopeless. I feel out of control and panicked. I catastrophize and imagine that the worst is going to happen. Sometimes, as a result, I will try to over-control other things, to feel like I am in control of something. Overall, I hate powerlessness.
__________________
HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
![]() Freewilled
|
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Yes, HazelGirl, it's just like that!
At the moment, well the past week, I've been stuck in it.... Hubby who is a gentle soul even said "this is getting out of hand, you really need to talk with your therapist, it's insane, I don't know what to do any more" |
#5
|
||||
|
||||
Can you try to identify what is causing these feelings? Or discuss them with your T to help you figure it out?
__________________
HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
#6
|
||||
|
||||
I experience that too. I will be in an emotional flashback for long long periods of time. Is that even possible? I can go several days....I just realized it last night during my T session. I couldn't see any other options than the hopelessness and powerlessness I was feeling. I even told my T that I felt panicked and I don't make good decisions when panicked.
How to get rid of the emotional flashbacks? Do they ever go away, or is it a matter of identifying and forcing the more balanced view? Like saying wait, I'm in an emotional flashback right now. Using copious amounts of energy to find those positive things that round me and my situation out and then trying with all my mind to incorporate them into my viewpoint. Is that the real solution or is it possible to get these flashbacks to stop? |
#7
|
||||
|
||||
My T, who has PTSD, has said that she still gets emotional flashbacks sometimes, even after 10+ years of her own therapy, and being a T for 25 years. She said she manages them by using her own coping techniques and by talking about them, and where they came from with close friends. She strongly believes close connections with other people can help pull us out of emotional flashbacks as we see that people don't respond in the ways that our brains have been programmed to believe they will. So I don't think they ever fully go away (just as PTSD never fully goes away). But they can be controlled and managed with enough time and practice.
__________________
HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
![]() Partless
|
#8
|
|||
|
|||
I got T in the morning.... I feel like I'll be waiting in desperation at her door lol
|
#9
|
||||
|
||||
I hope it goes well!
__________________
HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
Powerlessness. . .
Since the exact context wasn't a part of the post, powerlessness is often a mantra with some folks who have a 12 step orientation. Its often a question of surrender. Sometimes its about having been involved in so many contradictory and time specific efforts in the course of one's life that its really time to give up entirely for the moment so that one can reorient to reality based on what is in the present and actual. It can very much be about facing that no matter how much an individual wants to believe they are the prime mover and essential cause in their life, the reality is we are all mostly formed by forces beyond our control. There are likely times where its productive and useful to think like we are the masters of our fate. Its likely good to doubt that proposition entirely at other times. Powerlessness to me is I'm not the boss, I'm not the decider, and a good portion of the time I'm going to be acted on to a much greater degree than I will be the actor. I'm often not in a position to exercise influence, and I just have to live with that. |
#11
|
||||
|
||||
Powerlessness. Thank you Mouse!!
I equate it to situations in which I was physically overpowered and that feeling of panic because flight has been taken out of the equation. I try to control every aspect of my life and as much of other people as they will let me, because even the "impression" of control is the opposite of powerless. Control does not equal empowered. A lesson I really need to learn. Thanks for your post! |
#12
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
|
#13
|
||||
|
||||
As far as powerlessness, this is also a question for me. What does it mean? And how is it different from helplessness? I'll share how I understand it.
The way I see it, when you accept your powerlessness, you are not longer helpless. Helplessness is apparently more of a choice and what we have learned. Powerlessness is reality of life as human beings, in that in many situations we don't have the kind of power we want or need. I think helplessness is suffering, powerlessness is not. For instance, my parents have a messed up relationship and don't have no meaningful social interactions outside the house and it's a life full of shame, secrets, hostility, manipulation, etc. I used to live with my parents and I was raised in this environment and it damaged me pretty good and I suffered tremendously (emotional abuse, etc). When I left, I was still completely preoccupied with their relationship. It's just that I want people happy, want us to be like a real loving family. This led me to intrude into their life, to try to get them to change, to do lots of things...and nothing worked and they got mad at me even and I was devastated. I felt helpless! The one day my T said something about this and suddenly I wondered that though I may be powerless to make any changes, to create that kind of family that I want, happy meaningful relationships, etc, I'm not helpless! I can choose to accept this state of affairs, I can focus on myself, I can make relationships outside the home, etc. These are all choices I have. Sure, it really really really sucks that I was raised there and also my parents, people closest to me in my life are like that. And God knows I tried ever trick in the book to make things be different. I really meant well, but I have to accept my powerlessness to change them. They have to want to change and also it has to be the right circumstances. And people who have lived so many years in a certain way are not likely to suddenly wake up and change. They may never change. Heck, I've been in therapy for so many years and though I've changed, it has been far from what I wanted or perhaps what others had wanted to see in me. Also it's not really my place to try to force or encourage them to change anyways. I'm their son not their parents or priest or therapist or whatever. Even they can't necessarily change them. I think a lot of it comes from what I want to have had as a child and also my pain in going over and seeing all the hostility between them, I often have panic attacks even before getting there. But I have to keep reminding myself, I'm not helpless! I'm powerless in changing them, but that does not mean I'm helpless! I don't know if that's helpful to you _Mouse, but at least that's how I understand what powerlessness is (also helplessness, and the difference). |
![]() tooski
|
#14
|
|||
|
|||
We are all powerless in this world, at the mercy of whatever runs the universe. Life can be going along decently and then something horrible happens and there is nothing we can do about it, to prevent it or change it. It is just something to accept.
|
![]() Freewilled
|
#15
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]() |
![]() StressedMess
|
#16
|
||||
|
||||
Freewilled, I don't think that's true, either. Yes, unexpected things will happen, but we are not powerless in those unexpected things.
__________________
HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
![]() Freewilled, JustShakey
|
#17
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Me too! I have to lead my life, I can't accept that "everything happens for a reason" and move on. What is life if it's not your own? |
#18
|
|||
|
|||
When your child dies in the night and no one can tell you why you never feel you have power again.
But that doesn't mean you give up. To me it is freeing to just accept that most things are out of my control and there is very little that I can control. |
![]() Freewilled, Partless, StressedMess
|
Reply |
|