[Daeva]

So I've finally gotten to the point where I feel I no longer need to see T. Even in our sessions it's just what's new, and we talk about books and stuff. It's been like this for a month. It's obvious by the feel of everything that she thinks that I no longer need her and I feel is waiting for me to bring it up. I am ready to go, and the fact that I've gotten to the point of being able to happily separate from my T on a positive note is sign of it. I will miss talking to her and what not so there is a sadness in it. But I'm ready and I'm taking up a time slot where it's truly not needed anymore.

So how do you go about saying it without hurting feelings?

[iheartjacques]

I haven't been there. I just stopped making appointments. Or they moved or whatever.

[JaneC]

I wonder if no feelings would be hurt by this, but rather your therapist may feel very happy for you that you have come to this point, and especially that you broach the subject with her. Of course there will be sadness, like at the end of any meaningful relationship, but that you can work through together.

What a fantastic place for you to be at!

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by JaneC

I wonder if no feelings would be hurt by this, but rather your therapist may feel very happy for you that you have come to this point, and especially that you broach the subject with her. Of course there will be sadness, like at the end of any meaningful relationship, but that you can work through together.

What a fantastic place for you to be at!

Thank you!
I never really thought I'd feel this way, but it's a good feeling. I am definitely sneaking one last hug in before I go!

I hope all of you get to this point in recovery some day, or even better, farther. Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy.

[Petra5ed]

Wow, have never been there myself, but I would think telling her therapy has been successful and you're ready to move on would not hurt any feelings! I'm sure she'll be thrilled. I always thought at this point in treatment that's what you did, then maybe had a goodbye session or two, spaced far apart to wrap up things. But really once you tell her you feel like you're ready to be done I'm sure she'll know where to take it from there.

[nicoleflynn]

You won't hurt her feelings.........she will feel good about the fact you did the work and no longer need her!

[stopdog]

It won't hurt the therapist.

[Soccer mom]

Wow, I'm jealous and excited you've gotten to that point. I'm hoping I get there one day too! I agree that your T. should be so glad you're ready but, of course, you both will be a little sad.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Playing devil's avocado...

Obviously it is awesome that you are feeling this way

However, aren't you training to be a therapist too? If I remember your situation right, appointments are quite difficult to get with your T, and also you have been through a lot both in your childhood and even over the last year with college and finances and moving to the really good group home and having to juggle all that.

Would it not be worth considering keeping up your therapy, doing deeper work now you are in such a solid and stable place? Both for you personally, and also to develop you as a therapist by making sure you are working on your stuff?

It just strikes me that your OP is a little bit too protesting at why you're done and ready to move on? And you really don't need to worry about taking up a slot, you are just as worthy as everyone else.

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Playing devil's avocado...

Obviously it is awesome that you are feeling this way

However, aren't you training to be a therapist too? If I remember your situation right, appointments are quite difficult to get with your T, and also you have been through a lot both in your childhood and even over the last year with college and finances and moving to the really good group home and having to juggle all that.

Would it not be worth considering keeping up your therapy, doing deeper work now you are in such a solid and stable place? Both for you personally, and also to develop you as a therapist by making sure you are working on your stuff?

It just strikes me that your OP is a little bit too protesting at why you're done and ready to move on? And you really don't need to worry about taking up a slot, you are just as worthy as everyone else.

Ditto.

I can say that with my therapy, I go through periods of stabilization where there's not much to talk about besides weekend plans, kids activities, and coworker drama. However, life has a way of throwing obstacles, and I love having a place to go, and someone to call if things get bad. Based on my diagnosis, I'll probably need some kind of therapy for my entire life. It may not be every week, but I'm okay with that. Why not hang on to your relationship with T as a life jacket, in case you have a re-lapse or greater need for her later on?

[Daeva]

It's something to think about guys, but even if I did need her later on I could go right back to her so I'm not worried about that. And I have also experienced the 'nothing to talk' about stages. This doesn't feel like that at all. And I have worked so intensely on things that actually there's nothing left to talk about except a few things that I feel comfortable with coping with.

Such as why I feel a weird sexual attraction to any man who compliments me and am always torn over father figure or sexual partner in my life. However I do not want to deal with that right now because I prefer girls anyway and it's not really effecting my life much. I acknowledge it's there and when I want to work on it, I will.

I am a bit scared to leave but I feel it's right. I just explained myself cause I knew some of you'd feel like this so I thought I'd explain why I felt this way. It's kind of hard to explain how I just feel that I have accomplished the goals in my therapy. I mean it's not only the therapy but also I lived in an intensive Group home for hte mentally ill and lived with counselors 24/7 So i mean 2 years of therapy doesn't seem like much but add that with the whole group home and it is.

[MoxieDoxie]

You can suggest a therapy vacation. Stop seeing her for a couple of weeks or suggest coming as needed. Your T should be thrilled that she helped a client to the point that they no longer need therapy and should not have hurt feelings.

I feel so happy for you, but can't imagine the day that will be the case for me. I expect your journey was not easy, so wish you luck & continued happiness. XXX

[Daeva]

That might actually be what I end up doing Moxie. Thanks!

And thaks JoBo, it's a long road, but someday I know you can.

[meganmf15]

But do you still want your therapist?

I'm wondering if that subject is ever going to come up from my t. I need to tell her I want her to mention it if/when she ever thinks I'm ready.

[hellboy]

There aren't any hurt feelings. They don't take it personally. If they do then they've crossed boundaries they shouldn't have.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by meganmf15

But do you still want your therapist?

No. I know that sounds mean. I would like to stay in touch like a quick hi how're you. Whatever. But I feel like I don't need her anymore, and I rather be doing other things with that 40 mins. I don't even feel like I'd miss her tbh. I mean I'd miss seeing her cause she's been a big part of my recovery, however I wouldn't miss seeing her in the capacity of a therapist. It'd be more weird to not see than missing her I guess. She's done her job, I've gotten better, and therefore I no longer need to see her. Or want to. It's like a job at the house, you pay someone to remodel, they do it. You part ways. It feels very freeing to be better. And obviously it'll be a bit more emotional than a contractor etc. But the way I feel now it's just business. I know she isn't my friend, I know she isn't a family member. She's just a therapist who is exceptionally good at her job.

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I'm wondering if that subject is ever going to come up from my t. I need to tell her I want her to mention it if/when she ever thinks I'm ready.

I hope it goes well for you. You could ask her but more often than not, it's the client that deems 'i'm okay now' however sometimes the T does it especially if they think they aren't being effective, they may refer you to someone else.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Daeva

So I've finally gotten to the point where I feel I no longer need to see T. Even in our sessions it's just what's new, and we talk about books and stuff. It's been like this for a month. It's obvious by the feel of everything that she thinks that I no longer need her and I feel is waiting for me to bring it up. I am ready to go, and the fact that I've gotten to the point of being able to happily separate from my T on a positive note is sign of it. I will miss talking to her and what not so there is a sadness in it. But I'm ready and I'm taking up a time slot where it's truly not needed anymore.

So how do you go about saying it without hurting feelings?

I don't think she will be hurt. It's a natural process that has its beginning, its development stage and its ending. I am sure she understands it.

Just say it how it is, that you feel your work is complete and that you appreciate all she has done etc..whatever it is you feel you need to express.