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  #26  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 04:01 PM
Soccer mom Soccer mom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kraken1851 View Post
I find myself looking at his legs a lot (he has them stretched out), so I don't have to look him in the eyes. (I can report that he wears very boring socks What is your focal point in your session? )

I also see a lot of my hands or the water bottle they're holding.

Sometimes, when conversation is lighter, I make eye contact too.

I almost always look at her shoes at some point. I could tell you every pair she has worn. LOL
Thanks for this!
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  #27  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 04:09 PM
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junkDNA junkDNA is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kraken1851 View Post
I find myself looking at his legs a lot (he has them stretched out), so I don't have to look him in the eyes. (I can report that he wears very boring socks What is your focal point in your session? )

I also see a lot of my hands or the water bottle they're holding.

Sometimes, when conversation is lighter, I make eye contact too.
my T wears mismatched socks. like striped ones. i dont know why. one time i came into his office and he was standing on his desk in his mismatched socks messing with a plant
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Thanks for this!
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  #28  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 04:59 PM
Anonymous200320
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Originally Posted by Soccer mom View Post
I almost always look at her shoes at some point. I could tell you every pair she has worn. LOL
My T has a rather scuffed pair of indoor sandals (I'm sure there is a term in English for that kind of footwear, but I can't remember what it is.) His office is a no-outdoor-shoes zone, so I tend to think about which socks I wear on T days.
  #29  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 05:43 PM
RedSun RedSun is offline
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When I start rambling, I look down at the rug, and out of the French doors into the garden. There is a catflap there where the cats come in, so I watch them...t has mentioned that I always look down and to the right and that I don't look at her...so I've been making an extra special effort recently. I have to look away if she tears up though, or I feel ashamed....if her cat sits in my lap I look at that and stroke it's ears.
  #30  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 05:58 PM
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lone_77 lone_77 is offline
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I look at my hands or at the floor, all around really. There's something about making eye contact with her that feels too electric and it usually shakes me up if I look directly at her while I'm speaking, especially if she looks concerned for me.
  #31  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 06:44 PM
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Ad Intra Ad Intra is offline
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I look at many things, but I realized yesterday that I always look to my left. I mostly look at her but it depends on the topic. If I'm thinking about something I'll look her corkboard which has a map of Italy and thank you cards on it. Also when I'm thinking I'll look at a side table. If I'm sad or ashamed I'll look at my shoes or hers. I remember now that when I first started I spent one session just looking at the clock (which was behind me).
  #32  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 08:44 PM
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meganmf15 meganmf15 is offline
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The inside of my eyelids. I'm on the couch, eyes closed. If I sit up, it's direct eye contact with my therapist - like a laser.
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  #33  
Old Nov 12, 2014, 11:58 PM
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kororain kororain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon View Post
My T has a rather scuffed pair of indoor sandals (I'm sure there is a term in English for that kind of footwear, but I can't remember what it is.) His office is a no-outdoor-shoes zone, so I tend to think about which socks I wear on T days.
Slippers?

I look at the stuff on the wall behind her or to the side of her. There are butterfly fans behind her. There are bookshelves to the side with toys in bins and books and a little clock. On the wall beside that is a weird photo of goats or something, peeking their head through a fence and kissing. I was staring at that when we were talking CSA, so now the creepy goats remind me of that. Blah.
  #34  
Old Nov 13, 2014, 12:35 AM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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I'm surprised how many people look at their therapist. Wow. Honestly, once I walk out of there, I couldn't tell you what she was even wearing! I used to stare at the garden center's storage area that her window overlooks. Now that most of that stuff is put away for the season, I look the complete opposite way. Sometimes out another window (I have the tree memorized)....a worn spot on the large floor rug she has, an old high school diploma (I'm assuming is hers) that looks like poster sized, and almost looks like every word was hand written. Her purse on the chair next to the desk. Or, a book shelf directly to the left of me, but if I'm staring at that shelf, I'm completely facing away from T and at risk of dissociating. I rarely look at her, and if I do, I very seldom make eye contact. I watch her play with her necklace, like I'm playing with mine...or, there was one session I just stared at her foot. She always dresses in skirts or dresses, and has heels on. There are times I've just stared at her foot, the creases in her foot makes it look like she really had to stuff her foot in there. But, like me, she often takes her shoes off and has her legs underneath her. I always wear shoes that I can just slip in and out of, so I don't have to futz with taking shoes off and putting them on again. I don't realize it till after the fact that I'd just spent 15 minutes staring at her foot. So I try to look elsewhere. I'm getting to the point of being familiar with the books she has in there, and where they're located. She loaned me one of those books, which I still have, which screwed up my memory of them....lol
  #35  
Old Nov 13, 2014, 01:34 AM
Anonymous200320
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kororain View Post
Slippers?
yes, but that's a wide term... the word I was looking for yesterday is Birkenstocks.
  #36  
Old Nov 13, 2014, 01:41 AM
JaneTennison1 JaneTennison1 is offline
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I sometimes get a drink and so I stare at my cup all the time, sometimes at her feet. I made a comment about having big boobs and she agreed with my in sympathy. It was the first time after 10 months it ever occured to me that she had big boobs, I never looked that far before. She could have a purple head and I doubt I'd notice. Btw I still couldn't tell you if she has big boobs or not. A month later and I've still never looked.
Thanks for this!
lone_77
  #37  
Old Nov 13, 2014, 02:50 AM
kraken1851 kraken1851 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
my T wears mismatched socks. like striped ones. i dont know why. one time i came into his office and he was standing on his desk in his mismatched socks messing with a plant
Lol! I wish mine did. I love my t, but I wish he was a little less ... conventional sometimes so I don't feel like such an oddball
Hugs from:
junkDNA
Thanks for this!
junkDNA
  #38  
Old Nov 13, 2014, 04:05 AM
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ThingWithFeathers ThingWithFeathers is offline
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When I'm engaged and don't feel ashamed, I look at my t. When I'm thinking, I look out the window. When I'm triggered and trying to contain my emotions, I look at the floor, table, my shoes - anything downward.
  #39  
Old Nov 14, 2014, 11:57 PM
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Pink_Pot Pink_Pot is offline
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My therapist has beautiful hair. I find her boots sexy
  #40  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 06:05 AM
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InTheProcess InTheProcess is offline
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All over the over. And then at him usually when he is talking.
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  #41  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 07:26 AM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Usually my T. My focal point, if not looking at T, isn't an object, but shifted angle of my eyes, sort of down and to the left. If I do that, it's thinking about whatever it is I'm thinking about.
  #42  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 09:23 AM
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nymphea nymphea is offline
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I look at her paper and clipboard a lot. Sometimes I look at her necklace or the small table beside the couch.
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"They try to change you, Crush and break you, Try to tell you what to do, They'd like to have control of you, Back against the wall, In danger of losing it all, Search deep inside, Remember who you are."
  #43  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 11:09 AM
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hellboy hellboy is offline
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At a fish in a fishbowl.
  #44  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 11:16 AM
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I look to her left mostly ,and to a plant further left. On her right is a bookshelf that holds my attention.
  #45  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 03:43 PM
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StressedMess StressedMess is offline
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No eye contact, though I fake it by looking at the bridge of her nose or her eyebrows. She has like 12 different ticking clocks so I look at one directly in front of me often. Uncomfortable topics I slink down in my chair and stare at my hands clenched in my lap. Often she writes on a white-board and will call my attention to that, because she's standing next to it I can't look that direction. Sitting while others are standing makes me feel powerless.

Oh and the industrial strength grey carpet in her office has many interesting patterns depending on the angle of my head and which eye I squint.

I'm going to have to talk to her about this now, aren't I?
  #46  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 07:42 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Usually I look out the window. Sometimes I look at her unique lanyard.
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  #47  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 08:23 PM
Anonymous100210
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A sticker that's on the window. Peeling at the corners. And an outline from where a calendar used to hang.
  #48  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 10:55 PM
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tealBumblebee tealBumblebee is offline
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I look at her when I remember to do so, out the window sometimes (which she does too), at her bookshelf a large bulk of the time and when I am uncomfortable at the bracelet/rubberband/hairband i'm wearing. I also spend a good chunk of the time looking at her long skirts because they are always so beautiful and elaborately designed.
  #49  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 11:00 AM
Anonymous50122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedMess View Post
No eye contact, though I fake it by looking at the bridge of her nose or her eyebrows. She has like 12 different ticking clocks so I look at one directly in front of me often. Uncomfortable topics I slink down in my chair and stare at my hands clenched in my lap. Often she writes on a white-board and will call my attention to that, because she's standing next to it I can't look that direction. Sitting while others are standing makes me feel powerless.

Oh and the industrial strength grey carpet in her office has many interesting patterns depending on the angle of my head and which eye I squint.

I'm going to have to talk to her about this now, aren't I?
My T has a quite e few ticking clocks but 12? That takes the biscuit.
  #50  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 07:10 PM
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Jessica Hazlitt Jessica Hazlitt is offline
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I've actually been a tad distracted the last couple of sessions. We have been talking about pregnancy and I noticed that T has been unconsciously (I'm fairly sure) putting his hand on his little pot belly. It's kinda sweet. Trying not to be too obvious in my observation, don't want to make him paranoid :P
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