mad at therapist

I definitely get it that her forgetting hurts. I mean it really really hurts when someone we think is there for us, committed to our healing and asking us to believe in their power to help us, forgets to do something for us that they promised. This has happened to me before and it stings soooooo bad. But, and this is a big but, I've learned over time that I have to think about what happened and weigh how much my need to "show that person" how much they hurt me is going to effect them in the long run. Reality is, our therapists work for us, they ask us to trust them with very delicate information, but they also do make mistakes. I don't know about you, but if I'm honest, I have to admit that there have been times when I've made a mistake that has hurt someone who trusted me and relied on me. . . I don't do it consistently, but it has happened.

If the person I've hurt walks away or quits being in contact with me, I'd feel bad, but over time, the sadness would heal over and I'd go on with life. I wouldn't spend my entire life thinking about what an awful person I am. I would have liked to have had the opportunity to apologize to the person and make amends, but if the person walks away and cuts off contact with me, then there isn't much I can do. From my own life, I've realized that when I've cut someone off, I've been the one to dwell on the issue and the one who made it into a huge painful mess that angers me and gnaws on my insides. I don't think the person I walked away from stewed in that mess like I did.

Being in a relationship with someone, therapist or anyone else, is about learning to trust BUT it is also about learning how to negotiate the ups and downs of relationships. EVERYONE makes mistakes and learning to deal with that is so important. It's about learning to tell someone when they have hurt you. I'll never forget the time I told my x therapist how much she hurt me by something she said. It was so hard to do, but I did it and I can not tell you how healing it was for me to hear her genuinely apologize to me and work with me to allow her to make amends. She wasn't defensive and she wasn't angry at my confrontation, she was genuinely open to understanding and accepting my feelings of being hurt.

I hope you go to your next session and tell her honestly and with passion how hurt you were when she failed to follow through on what she promised. Don't live in a stew of anger and resentment. It's one of the most important lessons all of us human beings need to learn-- how to communicate honestly! Hope it works out for you.