[HazelGirl]

I showed up to my appointment today and my T was hurt. She had sprained her ankle really badly earlier in the day, and had tons of bandaids covering her hands, and she said she had scraped up her knees, too. And her ankle was on a chair, elevated on a pillow. She also said she was going to the ER after my session. I don't know why, but that has me really shocked in some way. Shocked isn't the right word, though. Maybe just worried or shaken up? I don't know.

Also, I dissociated horribly during my appointment. My T brought up some abuse stuff I had written in my journal, and it caused the worst episode of dissociation ever. It was so bad, the room was fading away to white. Normally, things get blurry and out of focus, but I've never nearly lost consciousness (or whatever was going to happen...maybe a flashback? Or maybe just a comatose state?). It was weird. I couldn't really see, the clock sounded SO loud, and I could barely hear my T. I managed to stay barely "there" by focusing on my bracelet and twirling it around, and thinking about my feet on the ground and my body on the couch.

It was such a weird session.

[RedSun]

Oh, I'm sorry you had such a weird time. And your poor t! Though it suggests that she cares for you and wanted to see you, that she was waiting to go to hospital til after your session.
Well done for managing to ground yourself too. Was it the obvious harm to t that set off the dissociation do you think?

[Asiablue]

That sounds really scary Hazelgirl. Hope you're feeling better now.

[sweepy62]

Sounded like a difficult session , good job in trying to keep grounded. Hope your t ankle gets better, I have a session tomorrow , with that same topic.

[Tangerine87]

Wow, that's terrible. Do u know what happened to her?

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Red75

Oh, I'm sorry you had such a weird time. And your poor t! Though it suggests that she cares for you and wanted to see you, that she was waiting to go to hospital til after your session.
Well done for managing to ground yourself too. Was it the obvious harm to t that set off the dissociation do you think?

I think the fact that she was hurt threw me off and made it more difficult for me to stay with her in the present, for sure. I dissociate a lot, though, so a little bit of it during a session is normal. I can normally push through it and push it aside enough to continue to get good work done, but not yesterday. So I do think her being hurt played a little bit of a role in it. But the topic was one of the hardest for me to talk about, and I think that played a much bigger role in my inability to stay grounded.

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Sounded like a difficult session , good job in trying to keep grounded. Hope your t ankle gets better, I have a session tomorrow , with that same topic.

*Trigger*

Mine was on some of the worst parts of the physical abuse I dealt with, so it was very intense. We also talked a little about some of the emotional abuse, too.

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

Wow, that's terrible. Do u know what happened to her?

Yeah, she was at her other job earlier today, and she walked off a curb. I guess there was another step up right after walking off the curb and she didn't see it and tripped over it and fell down. I texted her last night to see what the ER said, and she said they said she had torn a ligament on the top of her foot, but that it wasn't broken. So that's good. But yeah, it definitely shocked me and threw off the whole appointment.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

That sounds really scary Hazelgirl. Hope you're feeling better now.

Somehow I missed you in my response! Oops!

Thank you. I am feeling better today. I came home and distracted myself really well, so we will see if I fall apart later this week.

[JustShakey]

(((HazelGirl)))

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[guilloche]

Glad you're doing better today, but wow! Yeah, that would throw me too. Yikes, then to have her want to discuss trauma... that's a lot to deal with in one session. Good for you for finding ways to distract yourself!

BTW is that typical for your T, to bring up traumatic stuff with you? It just seems like that would trigger almost anyone with dissociative tendencies to *whoosh* and get spacey? I thought part of working with dissociation was approaching things slowly, from far away... kind of like desensitization (as opposed to diving in)?

(((HazelGirl)))

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by guilloche

Glad you're doing better today, but wow! Yeah, that would throw me too. Yikes, then to have her want to discuss trauma... that's a lot to deal with in one session. Good for you for finding ways to distract yourself!

BTW is that typical for your T, to bring up traumatic stuff with you? It just seems like that would trigger almost anyone with dissociative tendencies to *whoosh* and get spacey? I thought part of working with dissociation was approaching things slowly, from far away... kind of like desensitization (as opposed to diving in)?

(((HazelGirl)))

She seemed off, too. She sometimes tries, and I do need prompting. But she didn't seem to realize the effect it was having on me. Normally, she's more in tune than that. But she was probably in a lot of pain and it was probably really distracting, so I am guessing that was part of it. She didn't notice the dissociation at all, despite normally noticing it and helping me through it or changing the topic. She did seem very hard-hitting.

So no, it wasn't normal for her.