[Soccer mom]

I'm fairly new to therapy due to the death of my mom. I have maternal transference that we have been talking about most of the time. Now that it is settling down, I am starting to talk more about episodes of grief over things missed in my childhood. Last time I told my T. about breaking down in the middle of the day just wishing a maternal figure would come hug me, tell me I'll be ok, that I'm doing a great job, etc. That was SO HARD to admit to my T. She asked me to tell her about it and all the details: what was I doing, who was around, my feelings. I did. Then, she said to try again and tell her how I felt. I tried. Then, she said instead of me telling her what happened, tell her how I felt. Start with "I felt..." I had a hard time doing it and she said "you were almost there the first time". It made me realize that I think she wanted me to totally get back in the moment so I would feel what I felt then.

Do your T's do this? Do you have a hard time getting back into it? She said I separate myself from my feelings and I say "I think" vs "I feel".
I have a session tomorrow and I know we'll do it again. I'm actually scared but can't pinpoint why - maybe afraid she will actually "see" me? being vulnerable?

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi there soccer mom

I can leave sessions with my T feeling a bit drained.

It can be quite an emotional experience.

I think your T is trying to use strategies that best suit your needs, according to your circumstances.

Be open and honest with your T as to how you are feeling with regards to the method she is using.

Maybe you are not ready for it.

Or maybe it is crucial for your healing.

I wish you well.

[stopdog]

The forst one I see has tried it. I don't play along because she has not explained what she means so I am unsure how to do it, and she has failed to explain the purpose of it so even if I understood how to do it, I probably would not without agreeing such a thing would somehow be beneficial.

[guilloche]

Hi Soccer Mom,

I think my T has tried this... just the tiniest bit though. I'm really bad with the emotional stuff too (I guess alot of people in therapy are?!) - so we didn't get very far. For me, he said that a big part of it is safety, and it will be a bit easier once I start to feel safer. That makes sense to me.

I think the purpose... from what I've read.... is that sharing feelings with someone who you feel an "empathic connection" creates catharsis and helps defuse some of the bad feelings. It's supposed to be similar to when you vent to a friend... you talk through bad feelings, feel heard and understood, and somehow, end up feeling better.

[NowhereUSA]

I've never had my T differentiate. At the same time, he's DBT trained so it's not really something that would come up. Did you think it was helpful?