How to trust a new T?

Maybe. But one false step could bring it to a halt even if you were building what you felt was a genuine trust. It's all a risk. For me, it comes down to how much are you willing to take a risk to help yourself. Besides, false steps are survivable. They really are.

From everything you've written, you're in a pretty serious crisis, so trusting is doubly hard because there's so much at stake either way. Unless there's something sketchy about this guy, it doesn't seem like a bad idea to keep seeing him and building that trust, however weak it feels right now.

I have to see him. I'd be lying to my son if not. I don't really know what a crisis is. Last time we met the whole not having power thing was just fixed and he told me that if it wasn't resolved we'd have to give our son other arangments because it's illegal to have him somewhere without power He'd have to report it. So I guess my next question is what is crisis? I've seen him 3x and I've considered him each time. I'm not even on a bad episode (for me)