[jaynedough]

Dear T,
Not wanting to disturb your holiday, I've come up with the ingenious plan of rerouting this email to PC. Maybe I'll send you a copy of this before my next appointment. Maybe I won't. Who knows?!

I did the social thing a little while ago. It was only for a few minutes, but that was more than enough. The voices are beating me down. Going on and on. Yel!ing at me. I'm inside myself, screaming. I need to talk to you so badly. IDK how to make this stop. It's like I'm having a mentally anaphylactic reaction to people. This isn't how life is supposed to be. I know you want me to try being around people more. I have tried so many times. I've lost hope. I'm sorry. I'm mentally, emotionally & physically exhausted. IDKY I can't seem to get better. I feel like I'm failing everyone.

Hope your Christmas is going great! I'm glad I decided to not insinuate my negativity into your holidays.

[wasn't sure if this was a trigger-type message]

[kaliope]

doing the best you can should be good enough. my t encourages me to get out, to be social, but she sees the panic in me as well so she doesn't push it and is understanding and does not make me feel like a failure when i cannot do it. she just keeps gently encouraging me without expectations. i am sure your t feels the same. just relax, treat yourself kindly and enjoy your holidays.

[jaynedough]

Thank you, Kaliope, for your kind and caring words.

can i do my own 'dear t'?

dear t, if it wasn't the holidays,

I'd tell you that i bladdy well hated you for going away for a month and leaving me here to rot. oh, and also i never want to see you again and hate myself.



joking, t. i still like you. i just don't like being left.

[jaynedough]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

can i do my own 'dear t'?

I was hoping others would add to this. Thanks!

[lostwonder]

T,
Why did things have to go way crazy just a few days before the holiday? All kinds of stirred up and even my real life support system is all kinds of busy and unable to provide support.