[Ad Intra]

I've noticed that my grandmother (who is basically my mom) will tell me something and I won't listen, but my old-T could tell me the same thing and I would listen.
Is anyone else like this?

[RedSun]

Haha, yes! I hate being told what to do, t is the only one who ( kind of) gets away with it!
But I think that's because they know us so well, I assume that any instruction is given with my true best interests at heart, not what would work best from someone else's viewpoint.

[jaynedough]

Definetly. I'm Contrarian by nature. The few times things get thru my thick skull are usually things my T or PDoc said.

[callisto711]

Yes, I do but I think that is normal. Your T is unbiased, whereas other people who are in your day to day life have more of a stake in what you choose to do. My T tends to support me when I make choices that are in my best interests and she helps me see that.

[dancinglady]

Yes because they have nothing to gain from
Us taking or not taking their advice. I think most times they have our best interests at heart.

[justdesserts]

I think the answer is yes, but at my age and in my circumstances, I don't have many people besides t giving me advice or telling me what to do.

[stopdog]

No- it is about equal not listening. I do not usually look to others for advice and I don't think the therapist knows more than others or me.

Hmm... well, I think maybe the reason that yes I do listen to t better than to other people is because she never tries to out and out tell me what to do - she'll suggest, or say something like if it were me, etc. And also because I trust that she has no ulterior motives she's got my best interest at heart.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Yes - she's like the kind, caring parent I never had looking out for me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Yes and no. I typically do listen to/follow my T and Pdoc's advice. But, I have no problem saying no to them either if I disagree...and I have disagreed. Some advice I have to think about before I agree. But they tend to be right 95% of the time. They also are very good about letting me make my own decisions and only give advice when they feel it's necessary.

My T has never told me what to do and I would not like it if he did. He doesn't give me advice either, except very, very rarely. He sometimes suggests things but never in a way that makes me feel that I ought to do them because he says so. I may or may not follow his suggestions, and if I don't, he probably won't ever know so it makes no difference anyway.

With other people I always feel that I must do what they say so as not to hurt their feelings. I might not do whatever it is that they want, but if so, I will avoid telling them.

[gayleggg]

Yes, I listen to him more. He is the only one that gives me an objective viewpoint, even though he doesn't really tell what to do, he makes things clearer so I can make better choices. He validates me.

[LindaLu]

My T doesn't give outright advice. She asks me to state pros and cons, asks which way I am leaning, and usually says "thats probably a good idea/decision for you."

My follow-up isnt always good but she appreciates my saying well I tried/failed, or I know this is something still needing to get done. She deserves that respect of hearing the outcomes.

Compared to guidance from friends/family, hers is worth listening to because she doesnt try to get something out of me. Thats the beauty of therapy. Your T is vested in you, yet remains objective. More than a grandparent probably

My T has more significant things to say to me that most people in my life, so it isn't really about me listening to him "better" than other people; it's about him having probably more pertinent and thought-provoking and challenging things to say to me that most people in my life.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Most of the time yes, but sometimes it's too hard because I'm dissociated and my ears close off where I can't hear anything. When I come back, I'll ask her to repeat things I missed, though.

Also, due to the nature of my job (teacher), I have to try very hard to listen to my students. If they are asking me a question, I need to make sure I can provide a proper answer. If they are confiding in me about a personal issue, I need to make sure I can provide a thoughtful, empathetic response and direct them to the proper resources if needed. Furthermore, I'm a mandated reporter.

Other than that, my efforts to listen to other people are much smaller.

[nottrustin]

I don't think so. I am willing to hear anybody else. The difference is my therapist will keep working with me on issues. In general she wants me to do what is best for me. Sometimes doing what is best is very difficult and she is willing to keep at it and point out why she says the things she says until I "get" it.

[roimata]

No. It's a huge reason why I refuse to attend DBT groups. I am stubborn to a fault and have a hard time listening to anyone. I go to therapy to talk to someone and get things out so I don't spontaneously combust and that's about it.

[ombrétwilight]

but then and again I'm too partial towards my ex-T. She could probably get away with everything short of murdering me and I wouldn't mind. I don't openly disagree with most people in my life anyway and there are few instances when I contradicted T. Once was when she wanted to contact my parents and that crossed my line so I put my foot down (but she did so anyway). Oh well.

[pmbm]

I think this question was amusing to me. I think I always pay attention to what my therapists say, but actually doing it is another whole story. I listened to my therapists for years tell me that my abuse was not my fault. It took a complete stranger 5 minutes to really make me believe that. I've been in therapy for many years. That happened about 8 months ago.

[pmbm]

An addendum to the last post: when I told my therapist what had happened, I could see her practically have to hold herself very rigidly to keep from having any kind of reaction.