[HealingTimes]

I have been having a break from therapy for the past 5 weeks, and its another week before I go back again. So 6 weeks in total.

Honestly, I haven't missed it, I haven't missed my T (whom I really love and respect) and am not sure why I am going back.

There are still issues in my life that I am unhappy with, but doesn't everybody have that?

The issue I originally went to therapy with was a severe Eating Disorder, which has improved greatly. The reasons (for lack of a better word) for them were prolonged and repeated abandonment from my mother, violent alcoholic rages from my father, as well as other stuff.

I don't feel that my issues are resolved, as I don't think they ever will be, but I am not sure if I need to still be in therapy.

I never thought I would feel like this, I had SUCH transference and maternal transference towards my T, I wanted to see her forever and never leave therapy.
But things have changed and I am unsure of my reasons for going back now.
Any suggestions/words of wisdom?

[RedSun]

It's great that you're feeling better with your eating issues. If you think you're done with therapy, it's probably a good plan to let your t know how you feel so you can wind down over a few sessions and sign off on a positive note. Xx

[HealingTimes]

Thanks Red

It feels strange. I thought I'd know for sure when the end was coming, and have some kind of peace about the whole thing. But I just don't really feel anything.

My T asked me, before I went away on the break, to come back and work through an ending with her if I decided to end it permanently.

It just all feels so...strange. And I don't know why. It definitely doesn't feel wrong, just different.

Sounds to me like the end was on the cards and this break was almost like a test to see if you were ready.
I'm so pleased for you that you feel able to wind down now. I'm sure you're T will be thrilled that you have come so far.
I wish you all the best :-)

[HealingTimes]

Thanks Echos

We had a bit of a strange few sessions before I decided on a break. She wasn't listening to me ( I posted about it here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...ersonally.html ) and I still feel frustrated from that, and like I need to sort it out.
but am trying to work out if I REALLY want/need to leave, or if I am trying to make excuses to stay.

I think I will go back next Monday and suggest that we meet once or twice a week and see how that goes.

[Ididitmyway]

Sounds like you may be ready for something new. Therapy had its place and its meaning in your life, but it might've served its purpose and this may be the natural ending of one of your life's chapters. Of course, it's impossible to resolve all our issues for the rest of our lives, but that doesn't mean that therapy is the only way to do it or that one particular therapist is the only one to work with. I have no idea. These are just my speculations since you asked..

[HealingTimes]

Thanks Ididitmyway.

I think I will suggest once a month for a few months, and see how I feel. I do feel like I have moved on with my life, but also like I want someone to check in with every now and again. Is that wrong? Should I have a clean break? I am not really sure.

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

Thanks Ididitmyway.

I think I will suggest once a month for a few months, and see how I feel. I do feel like I have moved on with my life, but also like I want someone to check in with every now and again. Is that wrong? Should I have a clean break? I am not really sure.

That's basically what I did. I reached a point last spring where I realized I just didn't really need to be in therapy regularly anymore. My T is thrilled that I've reached that point; he considers it a success for me to get to this point. We never really terminated. We just kind of left it at "I'll see you when and if I need to down the road." I checked in with him in early July in a session just to touch base, but since then I really haven't had the need for a session. We've touched base via phone and recently he emailed me (we were really discussing some serious med issues I was seeing with my husband and trying to figure out how to proceed), so he knows how I'm doing. He would have no problem if I decided that I needed to come in for a 50,000 mile tune-up; I wouldn't have to ask permission to do so or anything. It works for us. Kind of like it this way; no drama over terminating -- just a natural progression in our working relationship together.

[HealingTimes]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

That's basically what I did. I reached a point last spring where I realized I just didn't really need to be in therapy regularly anymore. My T is thrilled that I've reached that point; he considers it a success for me to get to this point. We never really terminated. We just kind of left it at "I'll see you when and if I need to down the road." I checked in with him in early July in a session just to touch base, but since then I really haven't had the need for a session. We've touched base via phone and recently he emailed me (we were really discussing some serious med issues I was seeing with my husband and trying to figure out how to proceed), so he knows how I'm doing. He would have no problem if I decided that I needed to come in for a 50,000 mile tune-up; I wouldn't have to ask permission to do so or anything. It works for us. Kind of like it this way; no drama over terminating -- just a natural progression in our working relationship together.

Thanks Lola, I think that's exactly the point I have reached in my therapy journey. Its been 4 wonderful and tremendously helpful years with my T, but the relief and happiness I felt at having a 6 week break kind of says it all. I was starting to feel like therapy was an appointment that I didn't want to attend every week.

I am definitely going to discuss this with my T on Monday.

In 1 way it feels great, but I am also a little bit sad.