[IndestructibleGirl]

Something feels different with my T. I don't know what. Maybe it's just a lack of connection, due to my being ill and missing sessions and her being ill then and having to cancel a session also. We met today and it was...fine. I've missed her so much but...it was all ok in the appointment. Then after I got so overwhelmed by love and missing her I texted and asked for a call, before she goes off for New Year. She got back to me later this evening and said she was busy but sent lots of love, etc. I see her on Saturday but I feel hurt and abandoned and I have no cause to feel like this. I just want her here and that cannot happen, this is how things are.

It's all ok because I am quite busy with friends tonight and tomorrow and the next day with the holidays, and I'll be spending the time with people I genuinely love, so I won't be thinking on this too much but - right now I am slightly tipsy (yay for champagne!) and now the friends have left to go to the club I don't want to go to, well, I am thinking about this thing with my therapist.

Why's it all this hard?

[sideblinded]

Hi IndestructibleGirl

I am in therapy as well and I have never been that close to a therapist. I have personally never heard of evening phone calls from therapists or the word "love" being used in my conversations with my therapist. This is very new to me. I wish I could help except I wonder if your bond with your T is too strong? There is usually a boundary that is clear cut in my experience.

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

I see her on Saturday but I feel hurt and abandoned and I have no cause to feel like this.
...
Why's it all this hard?

Aww... I'm sorry that you feel abandoned. I think that we feel what we feel, it doesn't have to be "rational" or have a cause (feelings are like that, unfortunately).

And, I sure wish I knew why therapy is hard. Maybe because anything with multiple humans interacting is hard? Just my theory.

I hope you can go out and have fun with your friends, and maybe talk about how you felt abandoned with your T when you see her on Saturday?

Abandonment really hits us especially when a session is not as good as expected. When i came back after a ten week break, i felt my t was deliberately being different and i hated her passionately until the next session, where things evened out and got back on track.