Need something but not sure what?

Trigger csa

I am away from home this week visiting family, so I've missed two sessions with t ( well, one really cos I'm assuming she wouldn't to see even me on Christmas Day )
At the very, very end of last session I managed to rush out three horrid words, relating to (probably made up) csa. She was v v sweet and nice (though no hug) and I felt great after, so proud of me!

Now, I feel, idk, sick, messed up....I am having panic attacks most nights as I fall asleep, thinking of a scene connected to what I said.

I don't know what I want. T said I can always email if I need. But I have nothing to say really. I need some reassurance or something, but I don't know? Help?

i hope that you work it out.

what ever it is, i am sure she'll understand

hugs

Maybe email anyway even if you don't know what to say? Sometimes I find just hearing from my T can help me feel better, even if he can't say anything specific to help.
Feeling vulnerable is really hard, and I think T can represent safety so just knowing she's out there might be reassuring and comforting for you.

Thank you. I do want to email.i will. Maybe it will just come once I start writing

I'm echoing Echo here. Sometimes just getting it out helps. Feedback from the T adds to that. I've been in a panic over something said in T's office and the times I've contacted him about it helped. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Exact same thing happened to me. This is the time to utilise your t - email her or text her because you need support. Please dont stay on your own with this. Also i think i probably know what those three words are as i too had to say them... Feel free to PM me for a chat.