I accomplished something.

I am extremely scared of doctors. While I do tend to think like a hypochondriac, I do not behave like one because I b]will not[/b] go to the doctor. I am terrified that he is going to find something horrifically wrong, and tell me I have like 5 minutes left to live. Two years ago, I had to go for the most basic physical ever (no bloodwork, nothing)and I had the worst panic attack in the office, it was embarrassing as hell. Anyway, I was supposed to get the chicken pox vaccination in time for my internship (plus I knew I should get it anyway, as I am 25, and have never had the chicken pox), and get an immunization paper filled out. After weeks of dreading it, and scheming to figure out how I could get around this, I decided it was time to get a doctor (I didn't even have a primary care physician), and check on my health. So I found a doctor through my insurance, and called to make an appointment, thinking the reception would say, "The next available is in 4 weeks...." Well, she was like, "How about tomorrow?" And I couldn't turn it down b/c it fit into my schedule perfectly. So I went to the doctor, got all this bloodwork done, got my vaccine, got my PPD test.... Went back for the results and everything was normal! The doctor said the number that determines my kidney function came back a little high because I'm walking around dehydrated (I don't drink water, I don't eat a lot, and I always have stomach problems, so way more comes out than goes in, haha, too much information, sorry). So he said everything is normal, and drink more water!! I finally did it! I got myself a doctor, got all the medical stuff done for my internship, and most importantly.... finally got bloodwork done and found out that I'm okay! It feels like a 978497849723 ton weight came off my shoulders. This was the first time in over 6 years that I had bloodwork done.

Hello PS.
I am very glad everything worked out for you with going to the DR. You are absolutely correct, this was a very HUGE accomplishment for you. I hope things go well with your future. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

((((((((((((((( pinksoil ))))))))))))))))

yay! that really is awesome that everything worked out so well for you. No problems AND you confronted a major fear of yours. Major kudos for accomplishing such a difficult task!
((pinksoil))

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It feels like a 978497849723 ton weight came off my shoulders.

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Man, that is one heavy load you've been carrying around. You must feel like dancing now.

pinksoil, going to your doctor is a huge accomplishment. Way to go! I too have a phobia about doctors. I know it's irrational but I can't help it. I hate going. I just went for a physical exam last month, my first in perhaps 15 years? And I got my first pap smear in 13 years. The doctor was appalled. So I hear ya, girl. Hope everything checked out OK for you. Drinking water is so good for you. Stick with it and get those kidneys back in top form.

Pinksoil! Well done!! Its great when we accomplish something that fears us the most!

Yeah Pinksoil!! Proud of you. Glad everything was fine.

Awesome pinksoil!!!!!!

I used to be a tad phobic about doctors myself though not at your level. I found that it helps tremendously to find a doctor I really like. Then it's easier to say what you're scared of and they can help you.

This past Monday I went to an eye doctor for the first time in 2.5 years (in spite of the fact that I wear contact lenses). I don't go because I can't stand the stupid glaucoma test (where they puff air in your eyes). I get all freaked out that I'm going to be blinded and then I can't look in the other machines because my eyes stream water and I'm too phobic to hold my head against the machine. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. This time I just said I couldn't do that test, and the doctor was like "oh I have an alternative that I can do on you. You're not the only one who can't stand that test." And he did a different test that didn't bother me. He was also very cautious since he'd overheard me telling the assistant that I was panicky about the test. So now I guess I'll go back every year. :-)

I used to be petrified of the pap smear test too (would dread it days in advance) but got past that, mainly by finding a doctor I liked who didn't scare me. Now I'm just petrified when I wait for results on any kind of tests even though I seem to be perfectly healthy.

Sidony