Did your T tell you of his/her own struggles in life?

The last one told me about his life struggles a LOT. While it felt awesome in the beginning, it later made me feel anxious because a) I couldn't understand what kind of a relationship we had and b) it started feeling selfish at some point because we were focusing on my problems less and less and chatted on different topics that were of interest to him more and more. It kind of felt like we switched roles and I became his therapist. I couldn't understand how outrageously exploitative it was of him to do that until much later.

No, I don't believe the therapist should be a "blank state" either. I find nothing therapeutic in talking to someone who deliberately tries to suppress their normal human expressions because they were taught that it's therapeutic for the client.

A certain self-disclosure by therapist is appropriate but should be used sparingly and wisely. I was taught by one of my supervisors, and this is kind of the rule of thumb, that the therapist can disclose only if s/he believes that doing so would benefit the client.

All in all, if the therapist is always clear about the meaning of their work, it's purpose and about their role, it's not very hard to determine how and when to disclose.

My ex-T (the one I liked) told me about her divorce (happened way before I was a client), her infertility issues, and her body image issues...all which were related to things I was (and still am) dealing with.

My last ex-T just talked about herself in general 90% of the time. Didn't help me at all.

Current T hasn't told me much. Last week she told me about other's expectations of her concerning her being a mother which related to people telling me their expectations of me being a mother. I trust my T to tell me things that will help me. The rest doesn't matter.

It's amazing to read how close some folks on PC are with their Ts and the information Ts share.

Once my T drew an analogy between her psychology department chair and a coworker with whom I was having problems. But she never admitted she had such a problem.

Mostly she is cool as a cucumber. As if she has had no struggles. I disclosed some things and seen a slight flinch suggesting it's hit home in some way. But my inferences might be off the mark; she would never share.

I'd think some sharing would make a T more human and relatable. But too much and the client is no longer main focus of sessions. Must be hard for Ts to manage. The ones who present a blank slate have foreclosed on managing their presentation. Easier for them.

My T has shared some. I ask sometimes and her experience of having gone through things and being on the other side of it gives me hope. I know she has a T. I feel no burden to stop disclosing or to try and help. She's made it clear she is handling her issues and it helps merely to show I am not alone and I can get through.

I went to a seminar on Boundaries;it was fabulous. They said if you really want to get to know someone, ask them "what are your issues?" I asked my t and he told me...nothing earth-shattering, but I admired his candor.