The way the connection between therapist and client was described in another thread really hit a nerve with me. This deep and unique connection, which can be intense and healing, but also scary and confusing.
The feeling of looking into T's eyes and feeling this deep understanding, this complete mutual immersion in the process, the feeling of being reached so deeply for the first time in your life, it is just so valuable and so healing. I miss that.
I think the need to have one's inner child nurtured can increase the need for this connection, but also increases the chance of being hurt. It takes a skilled T to get the balance right and to contain the powerful emotions that this kind of work can stir.
I think it's this connection that will ultimately see me return to T1, but I will have to take some responsibility for staying mindful of what's happening in the relationship. It is a mighty difficult balance to strike.

I thought I had this with a therapist. I saw him for seven years. In the end he totally betrayed me and destroyed me. I will never trust anyone or expect that connection again. I could never put myself in the position to be so deeply hurt once more.

I do think it could be a very healing thing for others though.

Maybe it takes time? You haven't been with T2 very long yet? Not that I'm suggesting either that you stay with T2 or go back to T1, I can't possibly know which would be best, and I can see you have a difficult decision to make. Do you have much eye contact with T2?

Gosh I'm sorry to hear that, puzzlebug it is so sad that what is supposed to be a healing relationship could cause such irreparable hurt.
I hope you can find healing in future T relationships in different ways.

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

Maybe it takes time? You haven't been with T2 very long yet? Not that I'm suggesting either that you stay with T2 or go back to T1, I can't possibly know which would be best, and I can see you have a difficult decision to make. Do you have much eye contact with T2?

Thanks Brown Owl. I think I need to work out what I want from therapy before I know what is going to work for me. I saw T2 today and he said the decision about which therapist I see long term should be more of a 'lay by' decision in my life than middle of the motorway. (ie it shouldn't be more important to solve than my other issues, of which there are plenty).

Sorry forgot to answer your q, Brown Owl. We do have eye contact, but its like the eye contact you would make with any professional you might come into contact with. My relationship with T1, for all its problems, was something unique and absorbing. It can't be replicated, certainly not with this T, though he is also a very good T and very helpful. I'm not agonising over it so much now, I'm trying to stay in the moment and let tomorrow take care of itself